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I am...PHOENIX!

I watched this video 17 times.
A guy rolls five dice until all five die land on the same number.
Statistically, this should happen within 1,296 rolls.
On the seventeenth watching, he finally did it on roll 373 or 374. (he loses track each time).
So it took 21,109, or 21,110 tosses to get all five dice to land on the same number, which was 4.

He says "This is the most unemployed thing I've ever done."

I'm a multimillionaire and I have servants do my yard work for me.

I hate online contests because I never win anything

I was present in some of the meetings where they decided that the name "Asperger's Syndrome" should be discontinued (apparently some folk thought it hinted a relationship with Aspirin which was known to cause mental problems). They finally decided to call it "Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level One" because

AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER, LEVEL ONE
could easily be compressed from:

AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER, LEVEL ONE
to:

ALONE
and being feeling ALONE was recognized as being a frequent feature of the diagnosis.

Once a thread got locked and 5 members of the site got trapped inside it until the moderator unlocked it again

I heard the thread was haunted by an Austrian psychiatrist, or German psychologist, and he (it was a He) was from 1910. Shudder. Everything thing was Mother this, Father that. The five members where so tortured that when the moderator got the thread unlock, four of the five members spent the next three years exclusively in The Haven. The fifth member, Pinky, tried to hitchhike to Italy from France, but one needs a thumb to hitchhike, and Thumb was one of the four members taking refuge in The Haven.

Last edited by pcgoblin on 23 Jan 2026, 9:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have been receiving e-mails.
The signs reflecting the new Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Level One have been put in place around the world, costing, I'm told, 740,266.37 Euros. Signs are expensive.

The U.S. decided to replace the new signs with even newer signs that used the compressed acronym, ALONE. Within a week of the new signage, the Couple Therapy for Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Level One clinics lost all of it's clients. The clients were called, and those that answered their phone stated the signs and the solo sessions in Couples Therapy made no sense.

The U.S. government has gotten involved, and said all the problems will be resolved with the new signs. Now they say ALONE, Couples Therapy, and now single autistic people think it is a dating service. $800,000 and 3,200 new signs later, autistic couples find signs that read D.J.T.C.T.. Unfortunately, in the U.S. the treatment for ALONE has completely shut down after it was determined by the U.S. government that too much money was being spent on signs.

As a result, the U.S. government declared ALONE eradicated, and suggest a Nobel Prize for Medicine was in order. As soon as this was made known, someone on the Nobel committee purchased a stethoscope, spray painted it gold, and hand delivered it. The World then presented the Nobel committee with a Nobel Peace Prize. This was kept super hushed top secret from the Americans. The press knew, but showed remarkable restraint not reporting it.

Meanwhile, the State of the Union Address was delivered with a gold painted stethoscope draped around his neck, and Americans heard the story how six million level one adults were cured.

The state of the Union last four hours and twenty-three minutes, and how ALONE was "eradicated" was never mentioned. Although during the following day's press conference, reporters were told they were told clearly and concisely, illustrating what a brave, heroic man he was, even though he is too modest to say it himself. "He has once again saved the planet."

That's when a giant foot came down from the clouds, crashed to the ground, and a voice boomed, "And now for something completely different!"

I hate loud cars and bikes. I wish everyone drove a beige or silver electric appliance.

I have to give every bug and insect I see a name or a comet will hit the Earth and the world will end.

It's not so bad right now because it's winter, but if I happen to come across an anthill in the summer I'm going to be stuck there for hours, going "Charlie, Joe, Mike, Jill, Susan, Ralph, Edward, Francine, Norman..." also, I can't use the same name twice. But we haven't had any comets hit the world lately, so it must be working.

The midwest is lovely this time of year. Thinking about hitting up my local Great Lake for some marathon swimming.

Rats Ass
Did you know rats have miniature donkeys for transportation? They do.

The British don't cry.

Sigh. My mistake.

My bride wanted a spatula but I thought she'd asked for a flatula..........

I am good at lying and enjoy it.

It's easy and healthy for me to live in the present.