Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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It’s going to be VERY HOT today, 101 I been sleeping in the living room, I still need to find a new bed, sleeping on my couch is better, my back can really hurt in bed or my hip, I keep tossing & turning too, when I’m tired, I cannot get comfortable & I can’t sleep. Mornings been the hardest for me, cuz of the morning sun, the sun is Soooo Strong, makes me sick to my stomach, I feel like throwing up too. I hate going into my kitchen, I have a sliding door with blinds, the sun is the strongest in my kitchen. I don’t like blinds anymore, they are bad for cats too.

I had a small thing on my car stop working. I know how to fix it, but apart from that the daylight is dulling, the thought of working on the car makes me start shutting down... And I also saw a more difficult problem where I have an oil leak, and it is a place where the engine will eed removing to fix it if it is what I think it is. (Just a seal or a bearing leaking oil from the looks of it). But "Grrr". Just had four new tyres. Thought all was sorted. Should fix the small thing on one of my good days... (Don't seem to get any of them recently). I could probably pay for the work to be done but it would wipe me out.
And no income at the moment so is why if I am wiped out it is a concern. But also it really concerns me is that even the small things I am really struggling to fix. It is not anything much to fix, but needs doing anyway. But starting to shut down when I try to fix things... It was the same trying to work..Why it was such a struggle! I am so dissapointed that I am struggling in the very areas which I once relied on as being my strengths.
Hopefully I am going to be having a little help and I am so greatful. I never planned to end up needing help. I am pretty sure that it is likely to be burn out. If it is not, then it is somewhere in that direction.

Let's be positive. Right. With a little help I can start to lighten my burdens. I am like a ship which has been taking on water. Having another ship nearby to offload the heavy cargo, and offer some support means the ship has a chance to have a higher waterline so repairs can be made, and the pumps have a better chance of dealing with the water inside the ship.

I did not sleep well last night.

It has been very hot here the last couple of days, which makes it hard for me to sleep as well.

This made me unhappy Wednesday. I had SEVER diarrhea. I musta took at least 15 sh!ts within the span of 32 hours. A lot of the times it was barely anything but I just couldn't hold it.
Anyways another problem I had Wednesday is that we had to go out cuz our names finally came up on waiting lists for an apartment. We went look at an apartment that was available which was on the 2nd floor & had no elevator so we had to climb stairs. We have stairs in our current apartment cuz it's a townhouse but they are very difficult for my girlfriend sometimes cuz she has asthma & fibromyalgia &/or some other pain disorders. Cass had specially mentioned on the application for the waiting lists that she doesn't need a handicapped apartment but has problems climbing stairs. The woman who showed us the place said that she didn't see the application stuff, it wasn't on her computer which is f#cked up. We turned the place down & she's supposed to contact us next week about some other places that either don't have stairs or have an elevator. Cass is hoping for a specific place that is or is becoming available. It's in the same building that her sister lives in. We've seen the two bedroom apartment Cass's sister used to have there(she moved to a one bedroom there last year for some stupid reason) & it was nice. We're really hoping we'll be able to get that apartment & it'll be as nice as Cass's sister's one. One major problem is that 1ce we've refused 3 apartments we're kicked off the list. We're hoping the apartment we saw Wednesday doesn't count as a refusal since the reason we refused was due to Cass's disabilities that she specially mentioned on the paperwork. It'll be really unfair if we are punished for their incompetence. On well we're kinda waiting now to see what happens.
One great thing about Wednesday is that I didn't sh!t myself. I went 1ce at Cass's sister's place before we saw the apartment cuz the apartment we saw was in the building next door. I went in Cass's sister's place 2wice after we saw the place when we visited for a bit. We went to McDonald's after cuz it was close by on the way home. I know I shouldn't of ate there but I seldom get to eat there nowadays. I used their bathroom after I ate & we went straight home after so I was able to wait to use the bathroom till we got home.

I had to walk to the train station with my lass and watch her board her train.

So I walked into the co-op and bought beer to consume this eveing and try to drown the pain.

Waving goodbye is not only painful it is soul destroying, it f*****g rips you apart.

To care is to hurt.

I don't get it! Why do so many people think non-Asian people who like anime are horrible? What's wrong with liking anime?

I guess my watching anime since I was a small child, or "Japanimation" as it was called back then, not even knowing it was from Japan, but noticing a distinct difference between it and Western animation, means I should be out there murdering people while still living in my parent's basement while masturbating to furry porn. Yes, I have been horrifically corrupted for watching Astroboy and Hello Kitty and Hamtaro and Samurai Pizza Cats!

When I was almost a teenager I started to become very embarrassed and uncomfortable if other people saw me watching anime, as if it was "wrong" or something. I guess my worries were not that irrational. Actually I became very uncomfortable if people saw me watching almost any animation in general. I'd turn the volume down really low so other people couldn't hear it, and if they entered the room I'd freak out and change the channel. Naturally that made made look even more weird.

What a stupid world.

My day starting so slowly

My dog got diagnosed with bone cancer today. Its quick spreading, and he's too old to try and amputate because he isnt strong enough to get around on three legs. Theyve given him pain meds, but he's going to have to be put down this week. Because of sports commitments I cant go home to say goodbye to him either. So, yeah. My week is officially ruined.

Chronic urticaria