What's on your mind right now?

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Stupid soup burner trying to insult me. Literally eating soup. Not literally in the aspie sense but - currently engaging in such a metaphor for the sake of the EPL.
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What gets me is those bits of time which I have to fill because other people want plans with me and refuse to stick to a proper time so I'm waiting
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What did people do before internet?
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Because I do need to use it more purposefully. People annoy me on there every day
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Going to sign up to Celtic forums so I don't have to worry about them
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When I set my own schedule it lacks 'in between times'
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And I do want to talk about and think about football all the time and know all the time what's going on
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We do have Celtic fans everywhere here but that's the problem. I want to live somewhere more mixed. I like the patter.
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Anyway whatever my team's playing

Getting to a meeting with my VR agent on time.

Football stop annoying me please

I have been vaping instead of smoking for months now. But today I felt the need to get cigarettes...I smoked some of one and it was gross. Was worried perhaps I was falling back into smoking, but all that did was reaffirm to me that the vaping is a better choice.

My seeming inability to feel romantic love. I feel guilty if others feel it for me and I can't feel it in return. But then again, I don't actually desire any kind of romantic relationship, so why should it bother me? I guess it kind of makes me feel unnatural, or something.

Plus feeling bad because as I was afraid of, my new sleep med didn't work, so I didn't sleep last night until 6AM, and had to get up at 7.

Trains, food, tobacco, sleep.

Crocodile-skin briefcases.

I've noticed the irony when someone accuses other people of being a "sheep" or "sheeple" because they harmlessly enjoy something that the accuser hates, like certain video games or Disney, but if the other people decided the accuser was right and just gave up those things, they'd *really* be a sheep.

Bah!

Yesterday, I went and be a temporary sub back at my former workplace.
I screwed up a lot. And, ah, I got tired rather quick. Right after assessing, that, the whole workplace is a very stressful environment. It was chaotic, and I'm just gonna hope it'll end as soon as they find a replacement.
Tons of cravings, tons of stuff in mind, etc. Distracted and all that.

THEN...
I was in a certain state the WHOLE DAY today.
Nothing changed. Except things went busier.
I don't 'feel' like it, more like... I just did stuff. And did it better than before. Despite the long break. I just did.
This body and mind didn't even felt tiredness or anything out of control.
My emotions were weird. Instead of worried or embarrassed, I felt silly or mischievous even.
Most at the time, I feel... 'Neutral'. Not bored and easily annoyed neutral, but full stop neutral. The whole time.
There were no lags or mishearing. Or miscalling.
Barely bothered by anything at all, and I'm not even trying.



So... What's happening here??? I just woke up one morning and... Am'I in some half-awaken state or something??

Gained Number Post Count (1).
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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I'm wondering if maybe I might have a mild case of schizophrenia. I feel like my thoughts and feelings aren't my own and things like executive functioning and cognitive thinking are getting slower. These things only started happening after I moved to Houston and I was reading up and environmental factors can cause(or trigger it) such as living in a city.

What's the point of living?
I think everyone wants me dead anyway.

Tryouts for the equestrian team are TOMORROW and Im suuuuper nervous. I dont want to make a fool of myself in front of these amazing riders. Theres like a 99.9% chance I dont make it