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Shellbelle
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11 Oct 2021, 9:24 pm

By knocking out the other fellow's teeth.

How do you catch a big fish?



Murihiku
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12 Oct 2021, 1:13 am

Use cameras with fisheye lenses.

What course should we set, Captain?


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Edna3362
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12 Oct 2021, 1:47 am

Pleasure island. We'll rob the whole place blind and dry.


What does this 8O emoji say?


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Murihiku
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12 Oct 2021, 2:27 am

It's saying "look out, behind you!".
Seriously, you should. 8O

What should I make for dinner tonight?


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It is easy to go down into Hell;
Night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide;
But to climb back again, to retrace one's steps to the upper air –
There's the rub, the task.


– Virgil, The Aeneid (Book VI)


maycontainthunder
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12 Oct 2021, 4:08 am

Horseshoes. Ensure that you cook them at two hundred degrees for forty minutes to ensure they are tender.

Are you itching right now?



Edna3362
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12 Oct 2021, 1:32 pm

I'm itching to get a bat and hit myself on the head with it as soon as I woke up with ear pressure.

Isn't it strange for someone who never had an inner ear infection?


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Shellbelle
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12 Oct 2021, 8:56 pm

Very strange indeed. Might want to get that radio antennae checked. Looks a little rusty to me.

Why did you give the dog a bone?



Edna3362
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12 Oct 2021, 9:17 pm

A bone? I thought I gave a whole skeleton instead. It was also meant to scare the dog off, not gnaw at the whole thing.


There's a literal elephant in the room. What's the first thing that came to your mind?


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Shellbelle
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12 Oct 2021, 9:31 pm

I should probably eat him one bite at a time. Before the lion beats me to it.

Why should we only eat elephants one bite at a time?



Edna3362
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12 Oct 2021, 9:36 pm

We'll literally explode out of sheer fat content if we do. So don't do it! It'll be a very messy and smelly death if one did it.
And yes, it can potentially be a murder weapon with the right hands.


.. Who has those right hands?


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Shellbelle
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12 Oct 2021, 9:37 pm

Probably the lion. He got tired of waiting his turn for the elephant.

Why are left hands the hands of the devil?



Edna3362
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13 Oct 2021, 1:29 am

Because little did the bible knew, the archangel who fought the devil had actually cut the devil's right hand off clean.
And that's the story of how or why the devil is left handed.


Why bathrobes were invented?


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magz
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13 Oct 2021, 1:56 am

They weren't. They spontanously grow in unpredictable places and they've become quite a nuisance.

Why is bacon paired with eggs?


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Edna3362
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13 Oct 2021, 2:03 am

To prevent spontaneous necromancy of unborn chicks, and delay heat death of the universe by 20,000 years per egg paired with bacon.


Why do people bottle water?


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magz
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13 Oct 2021, 3:00 am

It's a magical ritual to summon plastic bottles of fire.

If fish could talk, what would they say?


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Cornflake
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13 Oct 2021, 9:59 am

They'd say, "How do you drive this thing?"

Fish on Fridays - what's that about?


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