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By knocking out the other fellow's teeth.

How do you catch a big fish?

Use cameras with fisheye lenses.

What course should we set, Captain?

Pleasure island. We'll rob the whole place blind and dry.


What does this emoji say?

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It's saying "look out, behind you!".
Seriously, you should.

What should I make for dinner tonight?

Horseshoes. Ensure that you cook them at two hundred degrees for forty minutes to ensure they are tender.

Are you itching right now?

I'm itching to get a bat and hit myself on the head with it as soon as I woke up with ear pressure.

Isn't it strange for someone who never had an inner ear infection?

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Very strange indeed. Might want to get that radio antennae checked. Looks a little rusty to me.

Why did you give the dog a bone?

A bone? I thought I gave a whole skeleton instead. It was also meant to scare the dog off, not gnaw at the whole thing.


There's a literal elephant in the room. What's the first thing that came to your mind?

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I should probably eat him one bite at a time. Before the lion beats me to it.

Why should we only eat elephants one bite at a time?

We'll literally explode out of sheer fat content if we do. So don't do it! It'll be a very messy and smelly death if one did it.
And yes, it can potentially be a murder weapon with the right hands.


.. Who has those right hands?

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Probably the lion. He got tired of waiting his turn for the elephant.

Why are left hands the hands of the devil?

Because little did the bible knew, the archangel who fought the devil had actually cut the devil's right hand off clean.
And that's the story of how or why the devil is left handed.


Why bathrobes were invented?

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They weren't. They spontanously grow in unpredictable places and they've become quite a nuisance.

Why is bacon paired with eggs?

To prevent spontaneous necromancy of unborn chicks, and delay heat death of the universe by 20,000 years per egg paired with bacon.


Why do people bottle water?

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It's a magical ritual to summon plastic bottles of fire.

If fish could talk, what would they say?

They'd say, "How do you drive this thing?"

Fish on Fridays - what's that about?