What's on your mind right now?

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I'm considering dropping out of the art academy after getting my first-year degree.
The college has a lot of homework and assignments and I'm already getting behind, I enjoy the current assignment(s) and I am learning a lot, but at the same time, I feel like I am just doing extra work just so I have a degree from a fancy art school on my resumé. And I don't think I really need it, considering the fact that I did the same major on a vocational level and got a lot of clients and work experience even though I never finished the major.

I already spoke to the dean and my coach and I'm probably getting a peer coach, but it was also a relief to tell them about my struggles and my coach told me that it happens a lot in the first semester. I have to get through this and also learn to not skip class, especially on this level of education, because it will become an unhealthy habit if I keep doing it. We'll see how the year goes.

Too far gone

I know you don't like me.

Try not to obsess too much and eat yourself though.

wondering why my UPS failed so blinkin' soon?

The Penis had the nerve to bark at me when I tried to put an egg in the microwave

Ass hole!



Etchiverri told me that I was doing everything that I was supposed to do by going to Dr appointment



Global area functioning :. Ten

She laughed




Every day is just, waiting for the other shoe to drop


Gorging out of control every single stupidass day


Want indulgence


Love


Not telling me off about every slightest thing


And one more thing , ass hole


Say "excuse me" instead of "ha?"


Etchiverri told me that Dr Butler is going to be my primary care physician from now on





The location is closer to house


"Life" has been over for a long time


Bad habits


Graceful degradation

Wondering when a banned troll is going unleash his next batch of clones.

I have a phone interview tomorrow afternoon for Nationals prep and Im probably gonna die

.. I'm a living proof of being autistic -- without much the common circumstantial outcome and predispositions that makes one 'more' autistic.
All I have is the autistic core that will always be there for as long as I live. On top of that the autism I ended up with has no comorbids influencing it.
And it fluctuates profiles and personality within timespans, state of being, and situations like a cycle says something disregarding other common factors... I've experienced varying expressions of autism itself, that includes a more relatable and familiar expressions of autism, whether with or without any influences or whatsoever...

What if this is how autism actually works? It's just most autistics choose to react anxiety (human anxiety, not dysfunctional anxiety) with 'order' and 'predictability'?
Therefore somewhat unintentionally 'choosing' specialties, comorbids even.. With more fixed profiles, with an ever co-occuring common themes because the reaction's mainly fundamentally the same.

So I aim to master autism -- and if I do, I'd steer this into the best type of autism I could ever tweak and manifest. I'd master my own humanity if I have to.

Think any human can actually do this, just not necessarily about autism because autism is not their core.
Though, autism and autistic traits can be a point of fluctuation to some via diet, triggers, upbringing, inclinations, etc...

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#8 - Wrong Planet Syndrome

I feel strongly like I am of Earth, but that I'm not human. Right planet, wrong species.

Human is actually a range. A continuum of itself. Even at the same individuals.
Most people are just attached to their idea of themselves, even if it's 'less human' or 'atypical human' it's still and idea of a self.

I'm still unconsciously attached to the idea of me. Still wanted to maintain the sentiments and roles, still lingers to the same old patterns. But a part of me is ever patient and accepting...


I want out, permanently. Like I said before; I'm so sick of myself. For a moment that self didn't exists and it's great.
Now this self returns with a new form. How can this go on when it has a lot of baggage to clear up?!

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I cannot possibly cram more information into my head.

The bus driver had the nerve to tell me pull up your pants. Stupidass b***h. Three weeks ago a different bus driver told me that. ("Discrimination")

But short of winning a civil lawsuit you can't do jack s**t about it

Dolby jack cheese

Dutch crunch roll

Did not feel too heavy today

Hiring event penis had the nerve to tell me that I was not dressed correctly. (Jeans and tennis shoes). And to come back next week. Maybe he saw I was crossdressing and wanted me to leave.

Ass hole, I scheduled the entire day around, the job interview. f**k you


All the other job interview, nobody said jack s**t about clothes. Not even Forever 21, DSW shoes. Not Coldwell banker. Not numerous office. Plenty of office job interviewers wore jeans

Superficial lil ass hole

f**k mister redelings


Sunny and warm, perfect weather

Not sick, no period

Bowel movement decent

Went to a new bathroom

Starbucks bathroom

Appetite gone haywire

A penis on the bus pushed my backpack with his foot. Panicked. Felt like he kicked me. But he was just being true to himself by being an ass hole. He has a legal "right" to be an ass hole

Suspect brain damage

Etchiverri told me that the psychiatrist that evaluates for brain damage, learning difference, intellectually challenged, will contact me in two months


But I doubt the insurance will pay for the diagnosis


Medi -Cal hardly pays for anything s**t





Feel pathetic and vulnerable and fragile


Corey sometimes answers emails in an hour

Sometimes a week

Otherwise no answer

It's been one week


Pen pal

Left out

Counseling only goes so far