WP Addicts Anonymous

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^Thank you so much...I feel a little bad, going on about my non-existent problems when you're going through so much...I've just been feeling horrible all day today. I've been trying to let the feeling go, but it keeps coming back.

Hey all...
Hey Kuraudo... Really sorry to hear you are feeling down today? Did it just come out the blue?

I hope you feel better soon. You have such a big heart and so much to give!

Hey Cathylynn... I hope things are going a little better for your husband... Always hard to find words with such situations... Hope you are ok!? Takes much strength and my thoughts have been with you both.

Biggles: BrokenPieces and TheSilentOne are very good friends of mine, so they assuredly good people!

Cathylynn and everyone: Well...it's about my mum, really. She caught me out on a small lie, that I was taking my progesterone pills, even though I wasn't, because they make me feel cold and clammy, as if I'm being drained. Normally I never lie unless I feel like someone won't understand, so I tell them what they want to hear to avoid conflict. It makes me feel like a horrible person every time. I've been crying on and off all day. She just doesn't realize how much she affects me, how childish my emotions are...and...how, for many years, all through high school and then into university [which I only went through with because I thought it would make her happy, please her], I've nearly stripped myself to the bone [metaphorically speaking] trying to give...well, everything that I am to her. Because during the dark years, I vowed that I would never, ever make her cry or upset her, that her happiness came first. I strove for perfection, but it never seemed like enough, so I would feel drained and so, so worn out, from giving so much. But I hide things very, very easily, and get upset very easily, so...
This isn't a big deal at all, just a small thing that I've turned into a mountain...I'm sorry, everyone, for going on like this. It amazes me how much you all like me, even when I'm like this. The truth is, you all like me much more than I like myself. I've been trying to work on that, to give myself love. Mew.
Goodnight, all.

Hey K...It is not a small deal it is a huge deal! It has effected you greatly not just for a short time but sounds like for many years. This can have long term effects. I know. I have been a people pleaser most of my life because i dont like confrontation, wanting to see people happy and as a result it eats away at you over time... The pills you take, i assume from wht you have said, you have told your mum? Have you told your doctor? If you cant express verbally to the doctor may i suggest you write it down and explain how negatively they make you feel and do to you... Sometimes even trying to express such things may in our eyes seem confrontational and will often water things down just so we dont deal with any extra possible stress. By writing it down you can emphasis what would be hard to put into words...

I cant really talk, this is kind of, do as i say not as i do moment... But you as a human being are most important to yourself! From experience, pleasing people all your life just makes oneself a target for people that will see that as a weakness and use you for it, I may think they were friends but once i stopped giving them what they wanted i stopped hearing from them. These are mind-frames of many people and it can be confusing to many on the spectrum as that is not how many of us think... People are manipulative by nature, so dont feel bad about telling a small white lie, i know i say that as it seems unnatural for many of us, but at times it is often needed, whether someone is being rude and trying to coax personal information from you then yes, rather than go into unnecessary discussion of why i dont want to tell them, i will tell a white lie to end the conversation going any further, or saying i am fine to family when i am not because i dont want them to worry any more than they have to..

It is hard to find that balance when it doesnt come naturally and just saying yes to everything seems at the time much easier and stress free... But as you are finding out it will often catch up and trying to make things better can and often will take some time, because it some what involves changing a mindset that you have seemingly being comfortable with for so long...
How would you change this? I dont know the answer for that i am afraid.. as it is something i am learning to do through trial and error... But speaking to someone natural like a Councillor with understanding on the spectrum can help with certain techniques... Dont bother too much with life coaches ( no offense) as you dont need to spend much time getting those qualifications, sometimes its just doing a 5 day online course and depending on country , such as here anyone can call themselves a life coach without any qualifications whatsoever.

Life for many of us is a trail and error thing. You will make mistakes but through those mistakes you will find what works for yourself and at the same time keep everyone happy around you also.. Its just finding what works. there is an answer for pretty much everything, it just takes time

So no, it isnt a small thing at all, no, you are not being too emotional, no, it is not a bother...
Self love for many of us is just as hard as dealing with everyday life..
But the universe has been here for billions of years and by some scientific miracle it has brought you life for a very short period of time in its story book...
You do matter and how you feel does also...

We listen because we can all somewhat relate. A mutual empathy if you will, so no , you are not on your own either with that one

see this thread:

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=347400


everyone around her is having sex and she is 15?

older people reply in the thread and no one says anything about that, as if it's the norm?

ummm maybe it a culture thing! at the end of the day im outsider who lives in a third world , and this never happened where i live.


glad i don't belong to your western culture.

^ @ cathylynn, BTW you only quoted my post without saying anything!

@ cathylynn yes i see. im sorry i didn' notice things lol

anyway in my culture guys never get married to a girl who is not a virgin, unless they are old/divorced etc

it doesn't matter whether you r religious or not, there's no sex outside marriage. it's a culture thing.

I'm joyed that summer is here after a long winter.

wait, now i'm super curious...where are you from?