TenPencePiece wrote:
Ah yes, I'll start it up. Hopefully Cornflake will turn up soon as well

*sudden flash and a (nicely quietened) bang*
And
lo, he has.
Evening campers!
Dear oh dear. At work a rather strange woman in accounts said to me "Would you like some cake?" (word had filtered through about my birthday) and I immediately thought "Why would I need any food - it's only 10:00 and I'm not hungry yet" so I just blurted out "No thanks, I'm not hungry".
Then I flustered my way through an unconvincing "yes please" instead but I do wish I hadn't bothered, because she gave me a stale scone.
Some part of her family runs a bakery and she often brings in cakes for the office staff and although they're not "brand new" fresh, they're usually stuff from the day before and generally quite edible.
Except this horrible dead thing I was given. I think this large pellet of some granite-like substance must have been a
days old, not merely hours old - it was more like a bloated biscuit, and I only knew it was a scone because of the currants. Or maybe they were dead flies.
So I nibbled a bit of it and hastily exited, then chucked it in the rubbish skip. The damn thing hit the side of it with a clang, and then I couldn't stop sniggering because the noise was so stupid and so fitting.
_________________
Giraffe: a ruminant with a view.