What's on your mind right now?

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Why can't I block PMs D:

Maddening thoughts . I feel numb again which upsets me... My emotions shouldn't burn out in a couple days after feeling again, just because I can't handle thoughts of the breakup . It makes me frustrated because I know I care about her deeply, and I currently feel nothing but cold icy numbness :/. I'd rather feel than have my subconscious mind decide what is okay for me to feel, my subconscious is seriously ret*d... I can't remember hardly anything from childhood because the damn thing suppressed most of it

I'm also thinking... that I don't feel like wasting so much money on alcohol, so I should probably stop, or drink lightly as I did in the beginning >_>. I'm getting too attached to the cozy feeling of being crawl-on-the-floor-drunk as well which isn't good >_>

What's also on my mind, is that I can't seem to sleep well anymore . I woke up at 5am after going to bed at 11pm and was wide awake, yet still very tired . I never used to do that, but now it's common place

Lastly, I'm thinking that I want to go to the store to get nori, but that it's Saturday, and the store will be full of people, and the bus will run less frequently, making me have to wait around at the bus stop for much longer than usual and it's getting hot again

thinky thoughts I think

I'm probably going to die a horrible more or less self imposed death someday....at least that is what I assume.

Too much.

That I should really take a nap.

whether what I'm doing is too ambitious (probably!)

I'm almost like Austin Powers without the Mojo and the glasses. I don't have to pretend to be what I'm not by living for today in the present. I'd rather be real by allowing myself to like the 60s.

Machine heads albums: burn my eyes, the more things change, through the ashes of empires, the blackening, and unto the locust.

The process of getting rid of so much of my stuff so that I can be portable to be free to wander has kinda opened my mind I think .

I used to like collecting stuff, but for some reason, now I feel no need for new stuff. I went to the mall today, and even in the game store, I saw no draw to anything, including games I'd been waiting for for many months... and then just left. I went to a guitar store, and didn't even feel like looking around

It's quite nice to feel content with what I have . Maybe getting rid of even things I had really liked in an attempt to drastically reduce my things, had opened up a question, of what's the point if I don't need it? >_>

I don't even have an urge/interest to buy FX pedals, and anybody who knows me knows that's saying something

Of course this is something I say after spending $900 on an amp... but this odd neat feeling came after that, and it fills a great enough purpose >_>

Why some people with dirty minds feel that they can make fun of me.

ff quite a task ahead

How nice it would be to live in a bigger place. I'd like to have enough living room space to have a vintage TV set and a vintage Hi-Fi stereo system with a turntable. My personality will never be determined by the year on the calendar. It will always be determined by the year in my spirit. Right now, it seems to be 1964. Why would I be controlled by a 4 number cluster on the calendar just because certain people suggest that I do so? They don't know me.

Dying alone, and the likelihood of never being held again, or getting to feel loved, or cuddle