Joined: 7 Jul 2014 Age: 126 Gender: Non-binary Posts: 34,629 Location: Out of my mind
13 Feb 2015, 8:21 pm
How do you know how people see you? Do you ask them? Or do you mean how you think people see you? People might not see you the same way you see yourself.
Joined: 8 Mar 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 12,997 Location: Southeast U.S.A.
14 Feb 2015, 11:20 am
Quote:
Do People See You As An Insensitive, Rude & Cold Person?
At one time yes on all three. To be more socially acceptable, I've learned to be pseudo-sensitive and at least less rude. Can't do much about the cold thing, though.
_________________ "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson
Joined: 3 Feb 2007 Age: 59 Gender: Male Posts: 8,086 Location: swimming in the air
08 Mar 2015, 7:45 am
Raleigh wrote:
How do you know how people see you? Do you ask them? Or do you mean how you think people see you? People might not see you the same way you see yourself.
That's a really brilliant reply!
I think about myself as being honest genuine sincere self deprecating and stupid
but I know that when Neurotypicals see me they just see an oddity to be put in the corner and ignored or crucified
_________________ Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle -Jaleb
A lot of people I know with Aspergers come off as rude and cold. Like my co-worker for instance. Most of the other co-workers don't like him. This is just an example of what this guy does. When someone plays a joke on him, then he gets super annoyed and yells at the person and calls them stupid. And he isn't friendly to other people and never tries to talk to them. He has Aspergers written all over him but most untrained neurotypicals simply just think he's an anti-social a**hole.
So yea if you have Aspergers and this sounds a lot like you and you wonder all the time why people don't like you, this is why. Sometimes you have to 'go along' with what other people are doing. You have to conform yet still hold true to your values.
There was also this one kid I knew from high school who I knew had Aspergers, lets just call him Jimmy. Let's just say his cognitive levels were good, social skills level not so good...
Basically I had to do a walking fitness class for a couple of days to make up some of my points for gym class. And he was in that class. He'd always wear his headphones and keep his head down and when anyone tried to talk to him he would just say go away. And on the track, he always wanted to be first. He never wanted anyone ahead of him at all and he would yell at people who walked ahead of him. Like my first day there I was jogging and he said STOP and tried to stop me because I was unaware he always wanted to be first. So a couple of days later some girls thought it would be funny to walk past him and as they were walking side by side, he kicked the girls. And the dude I was walking with said he wanted to "beat that kid up so badly"
Of course that kid was only a sophmore at the time but had the social skills of a 6 year old. Heres a life lesson to all of you, don't kick people or tell them to go away. When someone is talking to you, you pretend you give a s**t about them.
Insensitive? Yes, all the time, but it's almost always by accident. Rude? Sometimes, but mostly in family related stuff. Cold? My brother keeps saying that I "don't have feelings for other people", but he's the only person I remember telling me that. (He has some anger issues)
Joined: 14 Feb 2015 Age: 38 Gender: Male Posts: 4,976 Location: Sweden
17 May 2015, 12:10 pm
While the MBTI-assessment has been critizied for dubious scientific rigor, I find that the INTJ personality type has many aspects that I believe to be very applicable to aspies (then again, I'm an INTJ, and not all aspies are, so that might be my bias).
" 21. Do not expect INTJs to care very much about how you view them. They already know that many people see them as arrogant bastards with a weird sense of humour and they long since got used to it."
That being said, I'm normally polite and respectful, and only people I'm relaxed around see my arrogant streak, and I do try to have a sense of humour about that, as well.
_________________ I'm bored out of my skull, let's play a different game. Let's pay a visit down below and cast the world in flame.