I confess.....

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I confess I was just watching The Wiggles special with Steve Irwin at the Australia Zoo today ("Wiggly Safari"), with my little boy, and there were emus. Steve sang "Old Man Emu".

This dvd was one of my late nephew's favorites. He died at my son's age.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFkzoqx4I-Q[/youtube]

Once when I was dying for something good to eat and drink and was totally poor and broke, and I was skipping school, and I felt ill, I went to the hospital, went up to a floor of offices, went into a kitchen, took a small carton of chocolate milk with someone's name on it and one of those little yogurt things, and left.


Once I woke up to pounding on the back door. I wondered if it was an emergency and if I shouldn't get up and look. If there was a fire or something shouldn't I be getting out? Was there a disaster that would keep me home from school? I hoped so! I waited and listened to the pounding. It stopped, I relaxed... then it started up again. It finally stopped again, with me still debating what to do. I either fell back asleep or just lay there daydreaming until it was light out. When I got back from school the next day I learned that the neighbor had died of a brain aneurysm after she felt it happening and called 9-1-1. But she had died before they got in to her. They had had to take time to open the door from outside... but what if the banging wasn't that? What if it was her pounding on our door for help?


I have skipped school and forged notes. At least once a teacher was suspicious of the forged note, but I played the game and he accepted it.


I've shoplifted from Zellers and the Bay. Once I was putting on clothes under mine in a Zellers changing room, to steal, and I had to hide the tags so that they wouldn't find them right away when I left. The only place to hide them was in the radiator... the mirrors were glued to the wall in a way where you couldn't stick something behind them, and I didn't have any gum or snything to stick them to the underside of the chair. It started smoldering. I took them out. I got dressed, put them back in, and left. I missed the bus that would have carried me away from the scene. I went into the mall that Zellers was in, at another entrance far away, walked around in there, I think got a drink, came out, walked further away. I passed by a police car that seemed to be heading for the Zellers entrance. Needless to say, I never went back to that Zellers.


Once I accidentally smashed a glass in a dollar store but couldn't afford to pay for it. I said "Let's see... hoe much does it cost?" as if I was going to pay for it. Then I walked around the store some more trying to figure out what to do. I finally figured I had no choice... I had to get out of there! I went to the entrance, past the guy who had determined that I probably broke the glass (and I had). He made this "Hey!" type of noise. I said, "I'll come back when I can afford to pay for the glass" and got the hell out of there, and never went back. For weeks after that, until I moved to another city, I crossed the street whenever I passed by that store.


I stole a graphic calculator from my math class once. I thought I might be able to sell it; those things are like $125. Never did though.


I stole $20 from my mother once; my parents asked me if I'd seen it and I said no.


In grade 6 we corrected each other's work, or were supposed to, but the teacher never REALLY checked to see if we all had someone else's work, so I corrected my own sometimes. She would then ask each of us to call out our score on the assignments. I lied about mine, giving myself higher marks than I deserved... sometimes they were still failing marks... I had to be realistic, after all. I passed, anyway.


I know I'm bored; you don't need to tell me that!

I steal from Walmart occasionally. Products I think should be readily handed out by the government to make us proper workers: deodorant, toothpast, toothbrush, shaving stuff, caffeine pills.

I stole a yogurt drink from Loeb (a grocery store in Brockville). I needed it, I swear!

I confess I shocked the hell out of myself last night when trying to repair a clothes dryer... While drunk.

This was not really a planned activity [don't try this at home kids], but my son broke the start switch on the dryer earlier in the day, and my wife wanted to put a load of clothes in for drying before we went to bed. Late in the evening, I get, "Honey, do you think you could take a look at the dryer for me before we go to bed?" [I point to the stack of empty Guinness cans by my chair and give her my best "Duh" look.] "Please, just take a look for me?" [She's become a bit spoiled over my talent for fixing or at least jury-rigging just about anything.] [I sigh and go about trying to figure out how to get the control panel off...]

I confess that I was too lazy to go get my toolbox out of my Jeep, so I disassembled the dryer's control panel using a corkscrew and a rubber duck. Once I had the panel off, I reached inside and grabbed the errant switch. Of course... Can anyone guess what I forgot to do? How's about UNPLUG the dryer.

I confess, I let out a battle-cry of anger as 240 volts shorts through my thumb as I grab the loose switch. Then I start cursing like a sailor, very loudly. Then, I find myself wondering how long I could stand grabbing the switch and letting it short through my hand, and if I could start the dryer that way, and start laughing out loud at the thought; I have several different kinds of laugh, and this was my signature Evil Overlord Maniacal Belly-Cackle(TM). I confess I actually wondered about the resistance rating of my thumb, and why the dryer didn't start up when my thumb shorted the switch (probably didn't short for long enough?) I reluctantly decide not to shock myself again.

My wife, who had wandered upstairs, hears most of this and comes running downstairs. "Honey, is everything OK?" [I give her my best "Thanks for making me do this right now look", and yank the dryer cord out of the wall.] I say, "Hold this." [I hand her the cord so it doesn't slip down behind the dryer.] Seeing the switch she says, "Oh, good, you got it out. Can we start the dryer now?" [I give her my best "Are you f*****g crazy?" look] I say, "We could, but there'd be rather ominous blue sparks flying around if I left it like this. Wanna try it?" [I smile, wickedly; she thinks I'm joking.]

She says, "Um, can you fix it?" [I go to the bathroom, and get 3 band-aids. I use two of them to wrap the lead-plugs feeding into the switch, and the third to fix the switch to the back of the dryer panel.] I say, "This should work for tonight; it's really not safe, but I can start the dryer for you."

[I plug it back in, and hit the start switch, starting the dryer. The switch has a clear plastic casing, and is basically a piece of spring metal that is pushed down to touch a contact plate. As I hit the switch, a rather bright blue spark jumps the gap just before the switch closes completely.] She says, "Wow, you weren't kidding about the sparks, were you?" [I give her my best "Give me a f*****g break, will you?" look.] "No, I wasn't."

I confess, I was happy to have dry clothes this morning.

Moral of the story: Everything you'll ever see done in an episode of MacGyver is true.

Good fortune,

- Icarus the Lightning Rod

Last edited by Icarus_Falling on 22 Aug 2007, 5:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

In highschool I used to steal "tussan" so I can robo-trip Those were the days.

I confess-I always lie and that's the truth.


Oops! I almost blew the joke.

Last edited by whiteskunk on 22 Aug 2007, 7:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I went to 4 high schools from grade 7 thru grade 12. I'm still one optional credit away from actually finishing, actually.

I confess that while sorting school supplies this evening, I stopped to write a letter of complaint from The Purple Pen. (We're not allowed to use purple pens in IAP (not that I normally do anyway), so she's obviously being suppressed, and the only way to remedy the situation is to shut down high schools. Or so the letter says.) I confess that I clipped it to the fridge, finished sorting, and came up here. I probably could have put the time in a more useful application; I haven't done my homework yet.

I confess that it's the first day of school, and I all ready have a "procrastinate on" list.

I confess that I isolate myself in order to watch both the summer and winter olympics.

You're probably a black skunk in reality.

I confess that when I was 12, I stole Pac-Man stickers from a 7-11. In my defense, I had no intent to steal them. My two friends, or whatever they were, started stuffing packs down their pants and I panicked. The 7 or 8 packs I had in my hand were still in there when I found myself at my bike outside leaving the scene with the other two culprits.

1. I confess that even being female and now nearing fifty four years; that I live like a bear in a cage.

2. I confess that I have missed my friends here.

Nutbag I missed you too!

Good to see you! I always loved your username..and posts, of course.

Anyway.
I confess... that I am feeling a bit sick from eating dark chocolate with cherries in and fruit pips and cherry lips

I confess that sometime in the past few years, I have learned that it's "bad" to laugh (at any time), and thus absolutely hate doing so in public (and to a lesser extend in private). It's never a problem until I get back until school; anxiety puts me on an emotional edge, and the extra emotion usually makes me laugh at the smallest things. When I do laugh, I feel embarrassed; that adds more anxiety and more edginess. It's a cycle...

I confess that I'm sincerely considering dropping Spanish IV, but I don't know what I'll take in its place.

I confess that I also feel like a bear in a cage, but I think I broke out of the inner one, and now I'm working on breaking out of the outer one!