What's on your mind right now?

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Yup. I love using hard, external ones. ^

the mob outside, well one of them
shopping list & balaclavas on

I turn 22 in less than two weeks. I feel really weird about it.

Decided to wash my quilt like blanket tonight.

It's still January.
Despite the lack of ventilation and no electric fans, it's fricking cold.

I cannot just sleep. I barely had and just had this short dream before my leg cramped on It's own for no reason and woke me up for good.
Had this thin towel for a blanket -- it's a poor substitute. I need something more weighted.

And now I cannot breathe well and sneezing every few minutes or seconds.

Is it still worth it to lay down in bed doing nothing but sniffle and tolerate gravity?
It's barely 3am.

Eating would mess something up, sleeping isn't a choice, getting up may mess something up, screentime isn't much of a choice.
Not until an hour at minimum. Stupid subtle sensitivities.

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It's been bothering me that I never got to learn to hunt or fish when I was younger. As an adult I only knew one person who knew how to do those things and I lost touch with him years ago...not like I can shoot the guy a text and be like, hey, wanna teach me those skills, mista? Last I heard his health had tanked out and he's not so mobile these days anyhow. I feel like I missed my chance to learn, and it bothers me. I know there are classes/workshops you can take, but my finances don't afford me that luxury. I believe you need more than a youtube video to properly learn how to do these things. I need to meet me some hermit somewhere who has work on their property or something they need done who'd teach me some stuff in exchange for free labor... Ah, I can dream.

All I've got to have is just a few sips of alcohol and I feel all weak in my legs and I get terrible dizziness and vertigo. This is why I don't like drinking when I'm out, I don't want to feel unwell when I'm away from the comforts of my own home. Just the thought of it scares me.

^ I've always found the first few sips hit me a lot harder than whatever follows.

If that's the usual pattern for you, I'd start off really, really slow (on top of not having very much). You can experiment more at home too, like if you're really sensitive to alcohol you might find you have to stick to drinks under a certain percentage.

I broke a 5 day streak of being sober from alcohol because I'm a massive f*****g idiot.

Five weeks ago, ate four packs of lentil salad. Liquid bowel movement for two hours, in the middle of the night and more in the morning.

Zero (aversion therapy). Still like lentil salad but it is not worth the cost.

55 minute bowel movement just now.

Seriously paranoid about what kind of long term side effects, chronic constipation has on my worthless corpse

Do not have to go grocery shopping for a few days now. But enjoy it.

Nothing to do after work today. Just went to the library and printed some forms for the job interview next Monday. Ink costs $$ otherwise I would print at home. The library is not always open and the printer is not always working and sometimes lil dips**ts are hogging the computer that I reserved. f**k those ret*d ass holes

Last night either my feet felt frozen for a few hours, or it was just a dream

Cravings gone haywire

Felt like emotional overeating s**t

Ice cream and fried chicken and fried rice.

I miss Chinese food

Bobby pin in ear feels like masturbating

I miss ASM Don

Mumbo jumbo

Join the military

Fecal incontinence

I barely finished the tasks I'm allowed to do this weekend.

Sigh...
Why did this job ended up having 6 work days a week? It wasn't like this before pandemic -- which then there are no work at weekends.

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My new contact lenses aren't right. Got blurry vision in one eye.

Suddenly very sick of this place.

Another month to trace.

Another week to run.

I want to see real contrast...

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