What's the last weirdest dream you had?

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something about an album i like to listen to involving a color in its title, makeup in that color, a jungle in the middle of West Germany, an old hermit and his son.

don't ask me what that means, i don't know. It's pretty weird. I remember him having confused the album title for some sort of mascara thingy.

I miss having those crazy dreams. They were funny and entertaining to read after writing them down. I'm very big on surreal imagery, so i enjoyed having really surreal dreams with vibrant, absurd imagery, people behaving unexpectedly, weird mix-ups, time travel, body-swapping, brainwashing. I don't miss dreaming of nuclear meltdowns though. Those were frightening dreams and i frequently woke up all drenched in sweat.

I still have the full account. Maybe i'll post it, maybe not.

But that's just the weirdest dream i remember. I know there were much, much weirder ones Salvador Dali and Freud would've loved.

I dreamed about a school shooting. I wasn't the perpetrator much to my relief. It was where I went to school though and some old classmates were in it. We were in the lunch room of our Elementary school building. We were all middle school age though. The people that I recognized at my table were all old turncoat friends who turned enemies. One of them started talking about doing it and brandished at pistol. Another took out gun out, everyone but me at the table was for it, I think there was 13 of us. They got up, started firing, and moved like a mob towards the administrative offices. I ran like hell for a back exit. I made it into a back parking lot area and the police were already there beginning to secure the area. Gun fire started erupting from the building behind me and an officer threw me behind a vehicle for cover, then the dream ended. It was very vivid and all the colors were very saturated.

These ultra real dreams bug me, wish I could just have dreams about dragons or something.

I dreamt I was in a strange house with my late parents as they were when they were in their 20s. for some reason my left foot's big toe had been recently amputated, I think by myself, for unknown reasons. I looked in the refrigerator and found somebody's humongous disembodied penis, and for some reason I decided it would be a good idea to take some needle and thread, and sew it onto the stump of my big toe. upon doing that, blood soaked my socks and I left big messy bloody footprints all over the nice beige carpeting. nobody seemed to notice though, and there was no real pain. then I found myself outside at night, catching a ride from a stranger in a compact Toyota supra sports car, and we were zooming up and down the hills of some city by a bay (the city was called "bran chan") and discussing the end times. then I awoke.

^ lol for your pecker-toe. That was quite a feat for your feet.

I have a large kitchen knife stuck through each of my ankles. I don't know how they got there but all through the dream I'm concocting stories to explain their presence when I eventually get to the DEM. I have an appointment for 8:15 (When does anyone ever have an appointment for the DEM??) I'm running late but there always seems to be something preventing me from leaving e.g. the dog is trapped under the house and has produced puppies (which is amazing because he's a male dog), all the taps in the house are running and I can't turn them off, can't find my car keys, etc. I'm getting increasingly frantic.

I transport to an old school building. It's eerily silent. I wander down the halls looking in the empty classrooms. I walk out onto the verandah. The teachers are in the playground playing hopscotch and jumping rope. There's absolutely no sound. There's no stairs either. I try calling out to the teachers but not even a squeak comes out. I climb the railing and jump down onto a blue wicker chair below. I'm thinking as I'm falling that the chair will break but it's like I have no weight at all when I reach it.

When I approach the doors of the DEM I discover I'm holding a knife twice as big as the ones in my feet. Two policemen come out the door and I try to hide the knife behind my back, thinking they might arrest me. They don't even seem to notice me. I end up ditching the knife on top of a vending machine before I go in. I'm the only one waiting at the counter but the triage nurse ignores me completely. A man with a baby comes and stands right beside me instead of queuing up. He puts the baby on the counter and walks off. I watch the baby crawl towards the edge without doing anything to intervene. The baby falls off, then the triage nurse trips over the baby and suddenly the place is alive with emergency personnel running everywhere to deal with the two injuries. I stand neglected in the middle of all this action. I reach down and pull the knife from my right foot. There's no blood at all. The wound is orange-yellow and looks congealed, like I'm already dead. That's when I realise that I am indeed dead and I review the entire dream from the POV of being dead in one of those OMG moments when everything seems to slot into place. I look at my appointment card. It doesn't have "Time of Appointment". It has "Time of Death: 8:15 am".

I almost got married to a guy I didn't know and had never even seen before until it was time to exchange vows, but when my turn came to say "I do" after a long pause I turned away and said I wasn't ready. Even more strange was that the wedding took place at my old junior high school. A lot of my dreams take me to that place although I wish they wouldn't.

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that twilight zone of a dream seems to indicate that you want to avoid death, at least. It seems to be saying that if something major does not change/improve in your life ASAP, that you feel you will die or that you feel dead inside at present.
Blade
To see a blade in your dream suggests that you are making some difficult and important decisions. You need to be able to make clear distinctions between your choices. It also indicates that you are walking on a thin line and need to balance aspects of your life carefully.
Knife
To dream that you are carrying a knife signifies anger, aggression and/or separation. There may be something in your life that you need to cut out and get rid of. Perhaps you need to cut ties or sever some relationship. Be more divisive. Alternatively, a knife refers to some sexual tension or sexual confrontation. To dream that you are wounded by a knife is symbolic of masculine or animalistic aggression.
Ankles
To dream about your ankles indicates that you are seeking support and direction in your life. Ask yourself where you want to be headed. To injure your ankle in your dream suggests that you are experiencing some obstacles or difficulties in your progress. To have a knife run through each ankle would seem to indicate you need a radical change of pace and scenery in your life ASAP.
Die
To dream that you die in your dream symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or your life. You are undergoing a transitional phase and are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Although such a dream may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm as it is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something. If you dream that someone is telling you that you are going die, then it implies that you are being pressured to make an important change or choice. You are about to embark on some new life adventure.
On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation. You are desperately trying to escape from the demands of your daily life.

^ Thankyou.

Far from experiencing fear or anxiety, I was quite relieved to discover I was dead. It was like "Well, that explains everything!" And I wouldn't have to make up a story about what happened to my feet. I felt like I had just been let off the hook. Strangely, it was only after I realised I was dead that I started to breathe.

btw would love to know what interpretation you put on your penis/phalange transplant dream

prego the interpretation I put on my open-toed shoes dream was that no matter what kludges I clumsily enact I still am an ineffectual adult human being, and was an ineffectual child before that and still am childish in many ways.

Well I had been drinking quit heavily and fell asleep. I dreamt I had to throw up and my feet came out of my mouth and I turned myself inside out. Needless to say I threw up when I woke up.

You and me both. Here's an exercise for you: imagine that inner child as your five-year-old self. How are you treating them? Would you be guilty of child abuse if that was an actual child? Are you forever picking them apart and criticising? Shouldn't you be gentle and nurturing toward them instead? Visualising myself as a child to be cared for has helped me become a lot more compassionate towards myself.

And that's enough of my zen Buddhist crap for today

Wow, that's mad! But what's with all these dreams featuring feet?

I do the same thing, have for a while now, I love my inner child for all I'm worth. I've never really been to me until recently, the [UN]civil service kept me too busy until I got RIF'ed. now with time on my hands I can love me as much as the way the world does not love me, if that makes any sense.

Foot
To dream that you injured or hurt your foot signifies a lack of progress, freedom, and independence. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you have taken a step in the wrong direction and your dream is trying to give you a head's up on it. You need to go in the direction that you want to go and not follow others. Take your own initiative. Consider also the idiom of "putting your foot in your mouth".
Barefoot
To dream that you are barefoot represents your playful attitudes and relaxed, carefree frame of mind. Alternatively, being barefoot indicates poverty, lack of mobility, or misunderstanding. In waking life you may have low self-esteem and lack confidence in yourself. Or you may be dealing with issues concerning your self-identity. You are unprepared for what is ahead for you.
Vomiting
To dream that you are vomiting indicates that you need to reject or discard an aspect of your life that is revolting. There are some emotions or concepts that you need to confront and then let go.

It makes perfect sense. I imagine you would make a cute little Auntblabbyette.

if I could reproduce, maybe

I had many strange dreams last night. In one of them some random guy whom I think was supposed to repairing my computer took bites out of my CD-roms instead. He nibbled one of my Sims games right in front of me. I was furious.