Jory wrote:
I sent my sister an e-mail with the subject line, "If you want to understand me, please watch this."
I included YouTube links to the movie Mozart and the Whale.
I feel torn on this.
Happy because I'm reaching out and giving someone I care about a chance to understand me better.
Sad because the movie doesn't at all represent me.
Every day, I feel like everything that comes out of my mouth is only about 10% of what I meant.
The person that most people know me as is a lie.
Even as I click "submit," I'm not happy with this post.
If I died right now, the person that everyone would remember me as is a fictional character.
There's no "real" me.
I'm not suicidal.
I don't plan on killing myself anytime soon.
But if I die tomorrow, that's fine with me.
I've seen enough.
I don't think there is any AS / Autism based film out there that can truly explain the way an individual is, because a fictional character with a set of symptoms cannot compare with a complex human being with a lifetime of character building behind them. Although I think the characters in
Mozart and the Whale are quite well thought out (much better than in
Adam anyway) they cannot provide a decent analogue for a real person.
You know what people say "If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person". So true. The only way for someone to understand you is to get to know
you - not autism. Sure, getting them to do their research can help greatly and the odd autism based film can also help to put things into perspective (as long as it isn't too far-fetched) but as well as researching autism they need to experience you. I've had a few occasions where people try to help me by thinking "autistic people are like
this and do
this and therefore I need to do
this and quite frankly I have found it embarrassing and a little demeaning.
I hope whatever is bothering you is sorted out soon. You usually seem so vibrant on here.
_________________

THINGS I LIKE
Parasaurolophus, Plesiosaurs, Dinosaurs, Pterosaurs, Music, Tuna, Chocolate milk, Oreos, Blue things
Parasaurolophuscolobus. Parasaurcolobus. Colobusaurolophus.
....And Nunchucks are my friends.