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Yeah, and it's a f**king lie.

Every time you see me happy, I'm faking it.

I'm miserable and bored 99% of the time.

I have no idea who I am.

Every day, I feel like an actor playing a role.

Everything that comes out of my mouth is nothing more than a fumbling attempt at putting my thoughts into words.

I'm a complete fraud, and I deserve to die.

But I'm not that lucky.

Is there anything in particular that has upset you Jory? Or is it an accumulation of many little things? Please explain best you can.

I can't – that's the problem.

Imagine if every time you spoke, a different language came out of your mouth. If every time you wanted to say, "I want to watch TV," you instead said, "The dog has orange hair." That's pretty much my daily existence. Every single goddamned thing that comes out of my mouth feels like a pre-programmed line of code, like I'm a f**king robot, and I feel like I have no identity at all.

If someone asked me to describe myself, I would have no idea what to say. This terrifies me.

I had to edit this post for ten minutes, and I'm still not satisfied with it.

I think I know where you're coming from to some extent there. I've been having some very bad problems with work recently, and today I spent the first 2 hours after I got there just hiding in the toilets and sobbing, only for the foreman to threaten to break the door down and drag me out if I didn't come out on my own. I then sat upstairs with him and he kept asking me what was wrong but I could only reply with "I don't know" over and over again. In the end I went home without having done any work after just doing 2 hours out of an 8 and a quarter hour day.

I just know that something is wrong with how my life is and I cannot cope with working a full-time job, yet I can't pinpoint the reason why. I just feel trapped for some reason and need to escape all the time but I simply cannot verbally explain this to anyone with the detail that I feel. I try but it just doesn't seem possible.

And even now I only just scratched the surface of what is going on because it's so much more than that. No-one, including myself has any idea what is going on in my head. I obviously have a much better idea than most, but I can't get it out, therefore I can't get the help I need.

I really feel for you Jory, I just wish I could help you more.

Anyway, bedtime for me. Goodnighty WPeople.

*sighs sadly for both Jory and rabbitears*

I can't wait to volunteer at the soup kitchen, tomorrow.

I'm feeling more than a bit uncomfortable at the moment.

The 3D Grand Theft Auto games can eat it. Grand Theft Auto 2 is still my favorite.

BEDTIME!!

Night night WPeople.

me too...

G'night!

Is it kind of ironic that I'm drawing a dragon (one of my favorite things to do) for my English project (which I hate)?

I mean, I like drawing and all, but English should be English. Not art.

Contrary to popular belief, 2+2 DOES = 22.

If I don't do some cooking soon I'm gonna starve.

Maybe Eigerpere wants to cook a HUGE pot of chili for us all?

I'll bring the cornbread and butter!

Sylkat