Stemming thread - Say anything; bizzar and random

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Jon: Don't you realize how wrong it was to try and mail Nermal to Abu Dhabi?

Garfield: You're right. Egypt's further.

That's right, Al, you lost! And let me tell you what you didn't win: a twenty volume set of the Encyclopedia International, a case of Turtle Wax, and a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco Treat. But that's not all. You also made yourself look like a jerk in front of millions of people. You brought shame and disgrace to your family name for generations to come. You don't get to come back tomorrow. You don't even get a lousy copy of our home game. You're a complete loser!

Imposter Dan: Tell me, what do you have to show for your lifetime of apathy and petty vengeance?

Dan: Well, I...uh... I have a foosball table! So I have that going for me.

Imposter Dan: You don't even like foosball.

Dan: He's right...I'm an air hockey man!

The Dodgers play in Los Angeles.

Moe, Larry, the cheese! Moe, Larry, the cheese!

"You're going to play PLINKO! For a chance at $50,000 in cash!"

Pepperpot #1: I can't tell the difference between Whizzo butter and this dead crab.

Interviewer: Yes, we find that 9 out of 10 British housewives can't tell the difference between Whizzo Butter and a dead crab.

Various Pepperpots: It's true… We can't… No.

Pepperpot #2: Here. Here! You're on television, aren't you?

Interviewer: [humbly] Yes, yes…

Pepperpot #2: He does the thing with one of those silly women who can't tell Whizzo Butter [points with handbag at the butter] from a dead crab [points with handbag at the dead crab].

Various Pepperpots: Yeah, yeah.

Pepperpot #3: You try that around here, young man, and we'll slit your face.

Pepperpot #4: [quietly] Yeah, with a razor.

A frost this morning. It is cold.

Mr. Anderson: Hey, you look kinda familiar. You ain't them kids that spray painted my dog last week, are you?

Butt-head: Uh huh huh, that was uh... other kids.

Mr. Anderson: Well, anyway, large fries, pie, large coffee, NOW. You got me, bubba?

Butt-Head: Uh...

Mr. Anderson: I didn't order "uh". I ordered a large fries, pie, large coffee.

Check out "Wordy Rappinghood" by Chicks on Speed.

<--- Sliding down the mountain of life all covered with jagged stones and fiery nettles.

Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.

Peter Venkman: What?

Spengler: Don't cross the streams.

Venkman: Why?

Spengler: It would be bad.

Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?

Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.

Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

It's always a beautiful day in L.A.

My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain IBM.

It seems pretty hard to justify, at this point in human history, the existence of men and their handkerchiefs. I mean, they open it up, blow their nose in it, and then put it back in their pockets with their other valuables. Wallet, keys, mucous, yup, got everything. Is it because men can't give birth that they're just proud of anything that comes out of us? Well, actually have a monogram sewn on to it. What is the source of pride here? We-ah-uh, sticking out of the breast pocket of our jacket. 'I have a snot rag.'

Lemonade is a very good drink, it is much better than coke.