Totally untrue things you were told as a young child ...

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1) Middle School is fun.

2) It's easy being in a relationship.

3) My father knows how I feel about my Aspergers.

The FATTEST lies that have ever been told to me.

I grew up on the California coast and we'd drive up to Santa Barbara from the Los Angeles area on the weekends to visit grandparents. My mom wanted my brother and I to be quiet during the car ride so she told us,

"If you're really quiet you'll see the sea serpent in the ocean. I saw it on the news. Just stay silent and look out the window and you should see him!"

If you hang upside down from the jungle gym too long, you'll die.

Stop making that face, it's gonna freeze that way.

On conception: A married couple love each other very much and stand close together. ( I surmised it all happened via osmosis through the belly button)

Those white spots on your fingernails are caused by lies. There's spot for every lie you told.

Jesus didn't make your little body to play with.

Untrue things I was told as a child. Well, my grandmother told me that she was the only one who cared about me, and took me to the neurologist, that my mother was a slut and other things I'd rather not say, that my mother's brothers are drug addicts and they hit my grandmother(my maternal grandmother), that my cousins(on my mother's side)were sluts, that my godmother(she's my mother's cousin)did not care about me, well, she basically told me that everyone I loved who wasn't her, and her beloved granddaughter(my cousin)was basically evil, had no shame, things like that. Also, she painted herself in a good light, like she said that my maternal grandmother once told my mother that her mother in law was the kindest, most caring person he'd ever met. She once even told me that a favorite singer of mine, that his mother, an actress is a slut, that he was a bastard(that was the word she used)because his parents, an actress an a comedian(who's also a brother of one of my most favorite comedians). While it's true his parents are not married, that's their business. I still think he's a great singer. I remember these things so well because they were about people whom I loved. But of course, it's all my fault for having been an idiot and having believed her.

How I would love to tell her the things about her. That my mother is a bad mother, she says, well, at least my mother raised me and my brother. That's more than can be said about her. My father and his siblings were actually raised by her mother. The affection my father feels for his mother is nothing compared to what he feels for his grandmother who raised him. That's only one thing because she will pay for it. I am determined she will. I will see to it that I speak to her one day, and will she ever regret every single thing she's ever said to me. That's a promise I have made to myself. I will NOT ever show I care anything for her, because I do not anymore. I could tell she did not like the fact that the last time I saw her, I greeted my grandfather so warmly, whereas I refused to do more than shake her hand.

Oh yeah, I was told that if I didn't close my mouth (and breathe through my nose), a bird would poop in it.