Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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i encountered a level of anxiety that displeased me while i was preparing my dinner this evening.

i mostly get takeaway food, but sometimes i do cook things, and tonight i felt like a "pepper steak" and some canned sweet corn and some canned peas. i really just wanted the steak, but i had to include some vegetables i guessed, and i like the taste of those 2 vegetables canned. i did not want to mix the peas and the corn by using one saucepan to cook them in, and the only other saucepan i have is a huge saucepan that is too large to cook a 125 gram can of peas in (at least because it requires to be washed up (as does the smaller saucepan with the corn)), and i suddenly had an idea while i was driving back from the shop. i realized that both cans had ring pull lids, and i thought that i could save on washing up if i just pulled back the ring pulls on both cans and placed them directly on a hotplate, and when they had heated up, i would just eat from the can with a fork.

the steak was sizzling and i intended to cook it for 4 minutes on each side. i needed the vegetables to heat up more rapidly because the meat was almost cooked, and i have to eat the vegetables first, and there is a grave danger that the meat will be cold before i finish my vegetables.

so i dialled up the heat on the hotplate with the 2 cans of vegetables on it, and they started to reach boiling point, so i switched off the heat, but it suddenly occurred to me that there was no way i could lift the cans off the hotplate because they were extremely hot, and so i ripped off 4 paper towels and fashioned a glove that i tried to pick up the cans with, but they were too hot and also the steam rising from them hurt my wrist.

i then ran around the house looking for my pliers, because i realised that i could only pick up the cans with pliers, but i could not find my pliers, and then i realized that the meat was 2 minutes over due to be turned over, and it was hissing in the frypan and when i turned it over i saw that it seemed overcooked and i started to become panicked..
but i had to eat the peas and corn first, and i could not retrieve them from the hotplate.

i got a tea towel and tried to pick up the cans, but i could not stop the fringes of the towel from touching the hotplate and igniting (even after it was switched off), and so i just had to stand back and watch the disaster unfold.

then i decided that i could eat the steak before the peas and corn, and so i heated up the pepper sauce in the microwave and i lathered the steak with it, but to my astonishment, there were no peppercorns at all in the sauce!!. it was just "pepper" flavored gravy, and after the whole ordeal that i endured to attain it, i was disappointed.

i never got around to eating the corn or peas either, because i lost my appetite when i realized that my pepper steak was unsatisfactory.

that is why i should always eat the vegetables first. the salivation generated from the expectation of a master treat after the chore of imbibing vegetables makes them much easier to imbibe.

i almost felt like one of the pilots on JAL flight 123 when i was trying to get the process of the compilation of my dinner back under control. and just like them, i failed.

yet another takeaway food shop debacle.

_________________________preamble
i like "steak sandwiches with egg and cheese and extra onions and barbecue sauce.
in australia, a standard steak sandwich is:
2 pieces of buttered toast, between which are (is? i think "is" the correct word) lettuce, tomato, beetroot,caramelized onion, and a 1 cm thick steak (always cooked to the point where no pinkness remains).
extras can be egg and/or bacon and/or cheese or whatever .

i am particular (in a few simple respects) with my tastes pertinent to steak sandwiches, and i always order "a steak sandwich with SOFT egg and cheese and extra onions, and the sauce is to be barbecue sauce".

most of the time, steak sandwiches have too much lettuce on them, and the lettuce is not well drained, and they put too much sauce on it which is not viscous enough, and so by the time i get to the car, the toast is soggy and the steak sandwich just disintegrates in my hand into an amorphous mess of unappetizing garbage after a few bites.

another annoying thing is that stingy shop owners often use dry, tough and sinewy cheap cuts of steak which one can not cleanly bite, and the result is that the meat is pulled out of the sandwich and slaps onto my chin (sauce and all) as i pull the sandwich away from my mouth after biting it. i hate that.

___________________what made me unhappy today.

i finally found a shop that makes (almost) nice steak sandwiches. they do not put too much lettuce on it, and the steak is tender and juicy and not sinewy. the only problem with them is that the bread is not toasted sufficiently, and the egg's yolk is dried out (not soft).

i got one last week, and i was distracted by a phone call as it was cooking, so i did not monitor the process, and when i got to the car, i noticed the toast was only toasted to the point where it was stiff, but it had no color. it was still white and not brown. i was not happy, but i tolerated it.

today, i went to get another steak sandwich, and i told the girl that i wanted the toast cooked properly, but it became obvious that her entire english vocabulary was limited to what was chalked onto their menu board. she was of asian extraction and could not understand any word said to her that was not on the menu.

her: yes wha you wan?
me: a steak sandwich with SOFT egg and cheese.....(she was writing it down and i noticed she did not write "soft")
me: sorry "SOFT" egg.

she looked at me in a a blank way but still did not write the word "soft" on the order docket.

me: you know "soft"? it mean "runny". no well cooked (i had to resort to basic language that i tried to tailor to her limited vocabulary).

her: ok.
me: you write it down? soft?
her :ahh ok ok.
i thought "she still doesn't understand", and i was starting to be moved toward irritation when another asian woman with better english skills came out from the back of the shop, and she understood what i meant and she said some asian words to the girl who was taking my order which the girl seemed to understand, so i thought i had scaled that hurdle.

me: and cheese and extra onions and barbecue sauce (she wrote that, so i was satisfied)

her: is that all?

me: i like bread to be toasted "well" (she did not understand)

her: you want toast?

me: yes but toast has to be cooked so it is brown.

her: you want brown bread?

me: no i want white bread, but cook long time until look brown.

her: ahh ok. (the other woman had returned to the back of the shop by this time, so did not provide a translation to the girl).

she started cooking the steak sandwich (which i was monitoring as i was not distracted by the phone).

onto the grill plate went the steak and onions which was an acceptable preliminary step. i watched as the steak was cooking, and shortly after she put the steak on the grill, she cracked the egg onto an egg ring, and i thought "oh no!! the egg will not still be runny if you leave it to cook for the same time as it will take the steak to be done".

me: is that my egg?!?

her: yes. you wah egg?
me: yes, but runny.
her: ahhhhhhh

me: soft!
her: hmmmmmm. ahhhhh...

me: never mind. (i had resigned myself to the idea that i was not going to get an ideal steak sandwich and i was not happy at all)

then i realized that the steak was nearly done but she had not yet put the bread under the griller element to toast, and i realized that the whole process was out of synch so i said

me: you start to cook toast now?!

her: ahhh yes. (i wanted to kill her)

then when she put the bread under the griller, i saw that the wire rack it was on was slid into a slot far from the element, and i knew it would take ages to cook there so i said

me: rack too low
her: (blank (she was tired of me))
me: bread no cook fast enough!! everything else cook too much while bread cook too slow.
her: (blank)

then she retrieved the bread from the griller, and it was white and uncooked!! !!

me: excuse me!! ! bread no cook! cook bread more so go brown (she had no idea what i was saying, but the other woman had come back into the front of the shop and translated what i was saying to her, and so she put the bread back into the griller, but by that time, the steak was overcooked and the egg was hard, so i said..
me: no worry about toast!! take meat and egg off now and make my sandwich.

so i got a steak sandwich on almost raw bread (stiffened only by heat but not colored), and with super hard egg and dry tough overcooked steak!! !! !! !! !! !! !!

people should not be able to serve in shops if they do not understand the language of their patrons!! !

much as i like being looked after by my cousin, he is pissing me off. i do not like slut shaming or victim blaming. i do not appreciate being told that this is "punishment" for having casual sex outside of marriage and being okay with open relationships. i do not know if this also includes the fact that i like women. i wonder if we ever believed in the same god. his god seems to think that rape is an acceptable punishment. and he keeps making anti-gay statements. his aren't even the worst "kill the gays" kind of statements but they still hurt even though they shouldn't. i told him i hope he gets beaten up by a big gay guy for his homophobia but i take it back- i want to beat him up. he shouldn't be able to hurt me like that. it makes no rational sense that he should be able to because what does his opinion matter? but it did. like punishment? i deserved this? for what?

I'm going through chemo but I've only had one treatment because this week and last week when I went my white cell count was too low to do it. Because of this I had to get shots to raise it. Well today I went to get my shot and they were closed so I couldn't get it.

I was supposed to get 3 of them, yesterday, today, and tomorrow and they were going to see if they could do the chemo on Friday. Now I think that will be all messed up and they won't even be able to try on Friday.

Sounds like a very hard way to cook, better to use a saucepan with a steamer on top then you can put the one of the vegies in the bottom saucepan and the other in the top.

Do you have oven mitts they're usually thick so you don't burn your hands.

Although I feel sad you had a tough day,

I enjoyed reading your story, it was very detailed and interesting. You're a good writer.

Here in canada we have a conservative government. They have alot of anti gay and anti immigrant sentiments within the party. It is very disturbing. i am going to one of my union meetings soon.