Public pooping.

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His other drunk buddy ended up sleeping beside me, at times his head would fall onto my shoulder; it was annoying but also kind of funny that some people would get so drunk on a bus. At one point the bus driver would talk on the intercom and tell them to shut their mouths, I don't think he knew they were drinking but had someone said something they would have been hitchhiking.

Once I was at the Zoo and a father was waiting on his very little boy a few stalls down from me.
Dad: " OK sport are you done in there yet?"
Kid : " No oo o o "
Dad : " Well were all waiting so hurry up . . .
Kid : "Daaaaaad?
Dad: " What?
Kid "You know what?
Dad: "Yeah what?
Kid " The more you eat . . . the more you poop!
Dad :"Yeah I know
Kid: " WHY DIDN"T YOU TELL ME?

Likely for another reason. Last week in a Target bathroom, this guy saddled up in the stall next to mine and he kept lighting matches. This after I heard the snap of a rubber band. Later, a wet spoon fell to the floor after he made a weird sound.

Now to my most recent accomplishment. This gets graphic, so I am warning the feint-hearted. I just got back from my work restroom after dropping a few Brown Betties. If you know what I mean. Well, because of my gut issues, I am supposed to inspect every time I go poop for blood and other unusual stuff. This time, the one on top was shaped like a squid. I kid you not. It had the long body part, with a smaller head-like part, and what appeared to be tentacles coming out of the other end. Freaked me out. Those fiber shakes I do every morning can create some bizarre stuff.

I've managed to hold a poop long enough so I DON'T have it run down my leg.

Speaking of which.

There was this kid, who was bursting for a s**t, and the teacher didn't let him go, and he couldn't hold it, and it ran down his leg on to the floor.

He got so bullied for that, that he moved school.

And even then, what's the point?

Just spread the news there.

LOL, Alternative, these kids at one of my high schools were talking on the bus about this kid who shat in his pants at school and then walked to the office with s**t falling out of his pants.

poop happens

Always taking the low road...tisk tisk!

Okay I can manage the "quiet" poop in a public restroom if I'm unfortunate enough to be in that position, but then there's the tell tale rattle of the toilet paper dispenser! If you keep unrolling like miles of that cheapass tp and the whole bathroom shakes from the vibration of the creaky tp dispenser on the metal stall wall, people know what you just did. So I start unrolling tp as soon as I get in the stall if no one else is around.

I just sit there for hours on end if I have to until I finally get a break and nobody is around.

I've done that too, Trigger!

I may try your approach next time. That is quite ingenious.

Man, we sure do like talking S**T, don't we?

Poop is funny! It is also stinky and disgusting.

Quite true.


I'm getting used to it though. We lived with as many as six cats at a time in our apartment, and they would piss and s**t all over the place... they pissed in my father's duffel bag with his clean clothes, they pissed on both sides of my mattress, they shat in a pile of laundry, they shat in my father's sleeping bag, they pissed on the carpet in the entryway of the duplex we sued to live in, they would piss and s**t in the bedrooms, the living room, the bathroom and the kitchen... I think once on the kitchen table... on the neighbor's doorstep and she was rather mad... I've also lived in a rooming house where this guy who also roomed there never flushed the toilet, and his turds were huge and full of fibre and really gross! the piss looked really gross too... grosser even than most people's... sometimes there was piss and s**t and sometimes just one or the other... now I live at the Y, and for the most part people are clean, but every once in a while I see an unflushed toilet... once there was something reeally gross in a bathroom sink that smelled like either s**t or really horrible barf... there's a yellow stain on the floor of one of the shower stalls... I see mattresses out in the hall sometimes with yellow and brown stains on them... in an apartment I lived in before then there was this gross reddish-brown stain on the tile floor...


Oh, I could go on and on about this wonderful topic!

Yeah, me too. I also wait for people in the other stalls to leave before I leave.

The thing that's really annoying about public toilets is when people leave big fat skid marks on the side of the bowl - I suppose it's usually little kids who do it.

The one about the little boy in the toilet reminds me of one I heard.

This grandma was waiting outside a toilet for her grandson to finish.

He'd done a wee and she said "okay, you finished now" in a bored voice.

He said "No, I've gotta do a poo. See?"

Talking about poos too, there is actually a website called ratemypoo where people post in pictures. It's rather poo-thetic though.

I would never ever do that in a public restroom...ew.