At what point is it not tattle tale but...

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responsible reporting?

Anyone ever thought about this? Like how serious of an offense does someone need to commit so that if you call the cops its not considered tattle taling?

An example would be that no one would report someone going 10km/h above speed limit but if someone was murdered in broad daylight, almost anyone would call the police.

But what about things like stealing from a store? People always hear of stories when a friend told them of how ("cool" it was that) they stole stuff from a store. But when someone sees strangers steal something and the store owner/workers are right there, they would probably tell them or chase after them.

Or does it depend on the circumstances? For example, if a man who obviously looks like he is starving steals bread from a store, would you report him? Or would you help him in any way possible (get him on welfare, find him a homeless shelter) and let it go? (He is guaranteed food in a non-corrupt prison if you report him).

I guess if it's something like "Mooooooooooom, he's not sharing!" That's tattling. Back when I was little, I thought people were calling me a "turtle tail" because I was a little snitch. But as to when it becomes responsible reporting, I don't know. XD

If it hurts another person, it's responsible reporting. Anything else is tattling.

Hurt is not a clear enough word. Hurt someone physically? Their emotions? Their finances?

In school I actually got in trouble for tattle-tailing quite often. It really upset me when people did things wrong. I don't understand what exactly is wrong with tattle-tailing in the first place though.

Speeding on a road can potentially hurt or kill people.

*shrug* I think that would be situational. I would love to have a clear set of rules that applied across the board, but life just doesn't work that way.

And?

Almost no one reports people speeding on the road even if it is ridculous speeding, although, where I live, the police has urged people to call the police if they spot any street racers or people going at ridiculously high speeds.

I don't consider any reprting of a crime to be "tattle taling". I think that is a term which is understandable for children to use but as an adult I don't use it. If I see a crime in progress, I call the police or tell the nearest authority.

The offense needs to be serious enough for me to perceive that it is a crime in progress. In your speeding example, I don't know if I would be able to tell if somebody was going 10mph over the speed limit. But if somebody was obviously speeding, I would and have called the cops. If they are going fast enough for me to perceive they are speeding, that's pretty far above the speed limit. My eyes are a poor substitute for a radar gun so I can't pick up subtle speeding, only blatant.

I have reported shoplifting to a store clerk or store security when I saw it. I don't try to figure out whether or not the thief "needs" the stolen goods. I report it. If what they actually need is a homeless shelter, the police will find them one.

In many poor, urban neighborhoods, "tattle-taling" is called "snitching" and is looked on with great disdain and sometimes met with violence. This leads to a climate of fear in those neighborhoods because people feel they have too much to lose by reporting a crime- sometimes even if they are the actual victim of the crime.

Who else lives in fear because of this "don't tattle-tale" idea? Kids bullied in school. Why does it it continue and continue and continue? Because, besides bullies, every new generation of kids seems to learn that it is bad and "tattle-taling" to report bullying incidents to adults in charge. Non-bully witnesses are under peer pressure not to "tattle" and so any victim who reports it can get no corroboration from witnesses and isn't believed.

This whole "don't tattle"/"don't snitch" mindset is damaging and causes people to live in a climate of fear.

Last edited by Janissy on 30 Aug 2010, 3:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I do. Although since my eyes aren't a very sensitive radar gun, it has to be really, really fast for me to perceive it as speeding. I saw somebody not only speed at truly amazing speeds but go flying through a red light in the process. You'd better beleived I pulled out my cell phone and called the cops while his license plate # was still fresh in my head. I hope he was caught before he killed somebody.

I do have a clear set of rules. If I see a crime in progress, I report it. I don't dither around wondering if maybe this is a "harmless" crime. Drive past me at 110? I'm calling the cops. Stick a steak into your pocket at the store? I'm telling store security.

I'm still not sure what your point is. Just because most don't report it, doesn't mean the people that do are tattling. Speeding is a crime and it could get someone seriously hurt.

I meant for things that aren't a crime. lol

It is tougher to tell for things that aren't crimes. For adults, the only non-law authorities that any non-crime could be reported to would be bosses at work. Have I seen people violating company policy at work and said nothing to bosses? Yes, I have. If somebody pops out 15 minutes before their shift ends I won't say anything...that time. But if I'm expected to be complicit in them never staying for their full shift and instead me picking up the slack to cover for them, I will say something to the boss. But first I will tell them and ask them to stop before I feel compelled to "tattle". I won't let myself get used.

I wish I could have a bullying do-over. When I was a kid, there was a girl who was mercilessly bullied by a particular boy. He was violent and many kids were scared of him and didn't "tattle" out of fear of his retaliation. One day I did tell the teacher and he got in trouble. Later he punched me (he had never laid a finger on me before) and said that was for tattling. But he also promised that if I never tattled again, he would never punch me again. To my eternal shame, I complied. So maybe my stance is partly because I wish I could have been stronger and not only not complied but gathered all of my classmates who had been similarly threatened and tell the teacher en masse.

You shouldn't be ashamed of that, Janissy. As children, we are not mature enough to do the right thing and are easily intimidated.

It's good that you learned from it, though.

I've done 144 in a 100 zone. Would you have called the cops?