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Jamesy
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25 Nov 2010, 1:03 pm

When i started senior school at age 11 i made a friend. at the time my new friend was one of the nicest guys you could meet. he remaied a nice guy for 2 to 3 years but when got to age 15 he started to get really obnoxious and bad tempered just a very unpleasent to be around and he lost his temper with a lot of people.

i am still friends with him today at 21. he is nicer nowadays except he is a bit of crack head since he smokes dope and is not always with it. he is not always willing to have big conversations with me like he did in 2001. he is still quite grumpy a lot of the time.

is thier a reason why his personality became so bad when he got to 15? in 2001 and 2003 he would always have big conversations with me.

i am quite upset really. i don't know whats happened to him down the line :(

My friend is an NT not an Aspie :)



TallyMan
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25 Nov 2010, 1:27 pm

Did he have any family problems? Parents breaking up etc?


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Bunneth
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25 Nov 2010, 1:31 pm

It could be some problems he was having at home or it could just have been hormones. My brother became very sullen when he was in his mid-teens but was much better by the time he was 20.



Jamesy
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25 Nov 2010, 1:44 pm

No family problems. Parents are still together.

Yeah I agree hormones could be a factor. I mean when he was 12 or 13 he did piss people of unintentionally but was always an easy target becasue he was small for his age.

about 5 years ago he was beaten up by this local gang in a park. he was smoking and a gang member said to him "Can I have a smoke". my friend said to the gang member "f**k off" he was then beating up and kicked by them and we had to get an ambulance for him.

From people i know even before he turned bad he has always been a compulsive liar. even today really only cares about himself deep down even though his behvaiour has improved. Still he is a shadow of the nice person i knew 10 years ago in 2001.



Bunneth
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25 Nov 2010, 1:46 pm

It could be the drugs that are causing him to lie compulsively and act selfishly. They often do bring out the worst in people. Does he seem like he has a handle on his smoking or do you think it's getting out of control?



Jamesy
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25 Nov 2010, 1:53 pm

Well my dad recently described my friend as being "Very laid back". that could be because of the drugs.

He has been a compuslive liar even before he was 12 years old so I seriously doubt he was doing drugs back then.

I do not really know that much about my friends private life but I would be suprised if he was taking drugs at the age of 12 or 13 because he comes from a good family.

Maybe the hardships of his mid teens drove him to do drugs to escape his problems perhaps? It was a shocking personality change when he was 14 to 15 years old. Maybe it was the drugs causing his eratic behvaiour.

I would not say today he is danger nor is he getting of control now at 21 but he is a bit of a plank and has no real personality just cold, moody and emotionanless.



Bunneth
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25 Nov 2010, 1:59 pm

It sounds like there's not much you can do for him as he doesn't seem to want any help. Sometimes you just have to accept that people change and then think about whether you still want to be friends with the person that they are now.



Jamesy
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25 Nov 2010, 2:20 pm

To be honest i am still suprised when i look back on the person i knew a decade ago. maybe in the future he might get more friendly.

I don't think he dislikes me but he harldly ever talks to me anymore unless i tallk to him first and even then the conversation does not last beyond 2 minutes.

i know people change but with him its just so weird its like an alien has invaded his brain or something.

again yes maybe all the drugs have had a weird affect on his personality. when i first met him personality was very nice but i think very gradually he started to get worse throughout the years and then BAM when he to to 14/15 his personality changed dramaticly and quickly to the extent where I was disgusted and shocked by his out of character behaviour. Literaly he changed overnight.

Do you think I should be friends with him or not? Having AS myself obviously I notice he is more chatty to other people then with me because my communcation skills are not realyl that great :P



IdahoRose
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25 Nov 2010, 2:23 pm

Reminds me a little of my brother. Ever since he turned 16, he's become a lot angrier and meaner, and more rebellious. I often find myself missing his childhood self.

My mom says it's just hormones and that everyone changes when they're teenagers, sometimes temporarily and sometimes permanently.



KissOfMarmaladeSky
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25 Nov 2010, 2:25 pm

I'm kind of unsure...sorry.



Bunneth
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26 Nov 2010, 6:10 am

I'd say Jamesy that the best way to figure out if you still want to be friends with him is to think about the time you spend with him, and whether you generally feel better during/after you've seen him, or not. If you feel like you overall you're in a good mood after meeting up then that's a good reason to stay friends but if you feel the opposite, then maybe spend more time with other people that you get along with more.



Jamesy
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26 Nov 2010, 8:59 am

But would u agree Bunneth that its shocking when people change so much?

I find him easy to deal with in the respect that I do not have to talk loads to him and he does not expect much from me. but then again he can make me feel uncoumtftable because he can be so quiet. like is said its like an alien has invaded his brain or something. Somwhere down the line he lost his way :(



Bunneth
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26 Nov 2010, 10:21 am

I'd say for me it's more disappointing.

Maybe he's quiet because he's got a lot of stuff going on in his head that he's thinking about. It could be that he's unhappy and that tends to make people quite withdrawn and quiet, and different to how they normally are.