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MasterJedi
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19 Dec 2010, 9:25 am

last night, there was a post on facebook by my brother in law. He and his brother do this hour and a half long movie review podcast. One of the movies they reviewed was "Moon". I critiqued the review a little.He said the character was in space. I argued that he was on the moon, not in space and that the sheer aspect of not being on the earth doesn't make something in space. The fact that you have to traverse something doesn't make you from the region you traveled but where you originated from. So "space aliens" is inaccurate.

He said the character was on a space station. He was on a base on the moon, not an orbiting space station.

I thought that since there were two people doing the review, two people who have seen the movie be participating. My brother in law's brother dis 99% of the talking. I pointed that out.

I then asked the guy if he wanted to be facebook friends because we both love movies and I would have loved to talk to him about them and go see them... He read what I had to say about the review. He replied to my post and was very angry stating that he never blocked someone on facebook until me and was angry about me critiquing the review.

I felt the blood rush from my face. I was hoping to make a friend and I tried sharing my knowledge but it just made him angry.



kruger4
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19 Dec 2010, 10:22 am

You're thinking way to much into it, you should mellow out, thinking about stuff like that is only gonna be hurtful in your life. Also don't critique people on stuff that doesn't really matter, most people don't like it and will usually think you have something against them. Just my piece of advice.



jagatai
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19 Dec 2010, 10:25 am

I understand your frustration.

I have a very hard time knowing how I come across to strangers I want to befriend people but I suspect I often put them off with either pedantry or sarcasam. I find people often are terribly hurt by even the most mild criticism and over the years I've learned to keep my trap shut. And I have to remember that I am often hurt myself when criticized so I should know better.

I suppose it's not a good move to make your first gesture of friendship a criticism of their efforts, but I think it is the nature of Aspies to care about accuracy a great deal and to assume that any correction of an inaccuracy will be appreciated. Perhaps it might be helpful to e-mail the person who blocked you and to both apologize and explain that you had not meant to cause offense. An honest and open apology can go a long way to repairing the damage. An NT might not understand your logic, but they still might accept it if you seem honestly concerned that you have needlessly hurt them.


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leejosepho
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19 Dec 2010, 10:36 am

MasterJedi wrote:
I was hoping to make a friend and I tried sharing my knowledge but it just made him angry.

Very few people are capable of even a modicum of humility and remaining teachable, and I think even fewer have any actual love for truth and attention to accurate detail. Sometimes I "dumb down" a bit so I can have at least somebody to talk to, but I am always looking for friendship and fellowship in/with the same kind of hope you have described.

I have just greatly enjoyed learning some things from you about "space", "base" and so on, and I thank you for passing that information along.


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MasterJedi
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19 Dec 2010, 11:15 am

two great replies in a row. thanks!

If I could add you both as friends, I would.

I've often though of feigning ignorance for the sake of me not seeming like a know-it-all. Sometimes I feel that little bit of tension in my chest and neck when someone says something that's wrong or inaccurate and I try to keep my mouth shut and let it slide.



Spyral
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19 Dec 2010, 4:19 pm

jagatai wrote:
I think it is the nature of Aspies to care about accuracy a great deal and to assume that any correction of an inaccuracy will be appreciated.


+1.

I just had this happen--some friend of a friend on a FB thread had used a word that was not the word he meant. I corrected him, but, unfortunately was also tired and super stressed from a tough week (finals) and probably it came off rude. (Not saying you necessarily came off rude in your statement, but I probably did--especially as I really don't like the guy--pretention doesn't sit well with me) But I also wanted to honestly correct his English usage because I think it's important to use language appropriately. Impacts our critical thinking skills and all that.

Untruths and inaccuracy are really difficult for me to let go. I think it has to do with Theory of Mind issues and Rigid Thinking...that feeling that Aspies have that tells us people disagree only when they don't have the correct information or lack of proper evidence. But I would think that people reviewing movies would want to be accurate in their reviews. And as taking place "in space" is something open to interpretation, they would want to use more accurate descriptors.

Try to let it slide:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boj75h3urLU[/youtube]


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CockneyRebel
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19 Dec 2010, 5:02 pm

Try not to let the small things get to you. :)


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