Does anyone get this way about their special interests?

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One of my special interests is old buildings and what they used to look like. But it's hard reading about it and looking it up because it always breaks my heart and I always feel sad. Our city rips them down and builds something else and it gets rid of the history (though it will always be in memories and books) but it's just so sad. The death of a building. It's sad seeing how my city had all these old buildings and it's scary to even imagine someday they will be all gone and it be replaced with all new buildings. Then just last week, I saw a house being ripped down near my aunt and uncles house. I felt upset about it but I didn't cry.

Part of my primatology special interest is reading up on the way apes are treated in labs and circuses and things like that, and how they get "used" by humans. It depresses the f**k out of me but I still research and perserverate over it.

I'm also interested in endagered species and habitat destruction, that depresses me but I still look it up.

I get more... contemplative about mine. I'm into the fabric arts, and part of that is the realization that most of "women's work", way back when (and for a *very* long time), was in the creation of fiber and fabric from natural materials. It would take an entire household or village or whatever of women to create yarn from fiber, thread from yarn, fabric from yarn and thread, and clothing from fabric and yarn, just to clothe the entire village. It must have been oppressive, mindnumbing, backbreaking work, but all humans who lived a subsistence level of life had some form of oppressive, mindnumbing, backbreaking work to do...

I think the larger lesson is to see the beauty of human life despite those kinds of images. Somehow, these people still managed to slog through, to have children, to weather disease and bad weather and famine and whatever-else-life-threw-at-you. They created art at times, they had minor innovations, they somehow made it possible for us to be here now.

I'm very contemplative about mine too, the term "more rote than meaning" doesn't exactly apply to me most of the time. I'm more meaning than rote, I get passionate about the subjects I'm interested in. I don't just read up facts and things, I actually feel emotional attachments to my interests. Especially when they're living things, and endagered ones at that.

When I find something interesting in the category of linguistics, I have conversations in my head explaining it to someone. God I'm lonely.

With mine being cars its sad for me to see broken down beaters in a field somewhere or at a auto disposal site. Those cars once meant something to someone. I always imagine all the different things the previous owner might have done in them.... like maybe they had their first kiss in it, or took the family on a vacation somewhere. They're like secret journals that you'll never be able to read, but the story is still there. Not sure if that makes sense or not but thats just how I see it.

I don't really get that way because there are usually photos of those buildings online, thus they live forever.

There are a couple of special interests that did that to me. The first one was one that I had to abandon. That one was the London Routemaster. The memories of the old London threw me in for a loop around the Christmas season of 2006. I also had someone trying to silence my memories of them. I went back to that interest when I went back to my 60s Mod roots.

There's another interest that I look back on with sadness, due to the lost time that it's caused me. UK Punk and rebellion in it's trueist form. I rebelled against Routemasters, The Kinks and the 60s, plus my vulnerable nature. I should have listened to some of the members here and dropped the attitude before it got out of control.

I get a sense of sadness when I realize things are "over" and won't ever be that way again, even if the things that have ended don't pertain all that much to me. In fact, I have been thinking a lot lately about how those things make me sad. It doesn't even have to do with special interests.

And another thing, but this is irrelevant to what I just said but relevant to the subject. I am so into Billy Idol that the thought of him getting married or having a relationship nearly drives me to tears! (he`s single ) I know it`s weird and I would never stalk him or do anything to him, but I don`t wanna like a married man like that! And the fact that we`re both single allows me to live in a pretend fantasy world with him lol.

Abuse is an interest of mine, but I can rarely read about it or research it. I don't cry or anything... I just get this sick feeling at the pit of my stomach and rage builds hot in my chest and temples. I really don't like that feeling. It's nearly impossible to shake off or will away.

Plants are my thing, so naturally the stereotypical images of loggers clear-cutting the rainforest make me ill.
But it is far more personal for me than that. If I see some kids hanging on a tree at the park, pulling on the branches and leaves, I feel bad for the tree and mad at the children. If I see someone trampling flowerbeds or picking too many flowers, it makes me very sad and empathetic for the flowers... something I can't seem to experience with much regularity for human beings. Spoiled produce in the grocery store makes me incredibly angry and disgusted.

So yes, I think I understand what you mean. My interest consumes my emotions at times.