Success = losing friends

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This is something I've noticed but have struggled to accept. I have worked my arse off my entire adult life and have spent a great deal of time figuring out ways to scheme the system, decide what's important to me, cut out what's not, etc. I've never done anything illegal. I've just found ways to have passive income, save a lot of money, and design a lifestyle that allows me to do things that most lifestyles do not. For example, I have a full-time permanent job that is seasonal and pays really well, so I live somewhat frugally during the 9 months I work and then do a lot of fun and interesting stuff during the 3 months I don't (travel abroad, volunteer doing really cool work, learn a new skill, exercise a lot, etc). I am not materialistic at all and barely have any real possessions other than what I feel is really necessary. The bulk of my wardrobe consists of jeans from Old Navy and solid colored Hanes T-shirts (about $4/shirt). I also don't eat out much or drink more than a few beers a week with friends.

Though this lifestyle comes with its costs, the most visible result is that I've been able to travel the world, have experiences with a lot of cool people and animals (elephants, bears, orangutans, etc), and live a pretty comfortable life (because I don't blow my money on anything without carefully thinking about it). Along with these different experiences has come a falling out with many of my close and not so close friends and family members due to jealousy. It's actually gotten pretty nasty and disappointing at times. To give a few examples, I quit my job several years ago (because that job sucked) and spent the time between work backpacking through Asia. During the time leading up to the trip I would talk with one of my best friends just like people do with their friends, and when he found out I was financially secure and would be traveling for several months, he started being very negative to me. At first it wasn't so bad and was easy to brush off, but it got progressively more negative and without ANY positivity. Even if I didn't talk about travel at all, all he ever had to say to me was basically how stupid I was and how his life is so great and how the countries I would be visiting were really stupid and that I was an idiot for quitting my job etc. I finally had to cut him out of my life completely. Another example: when I visited my family for Thanksgiving, my sister dominated the conversation and would interrupt me any time I tried to speak about my own life and was visibly irritated any time I talked. I don't remember her ever being like this before. Her life also happened to kind of go in the toilet the same time mine was taking off, but I never tried to make a point of bringing that up or comparing our lives or anything. My brother acted more or less the same, so I ended up mostly just not talking at all. I've tried calling my siblings a few times over the years but they make excuses as to why they can't talk.

This all actually bothers me quite a bit because I try very hard to be humble, never brag, and help and encourage others. I even want to become a teacher after a few more years of this lifestyle because I want to be a sort of "life-guide" to teens since I was not given any guidance at all during that time in my life and know how helpful it would have been. I was also treated very poorly during that time of my life by a lot of people because I was pretty different, and I want to be someone who will listen to kids and try to understand them even when nobody else does because I know how isolating and depressing it is to not be listened to by anyone. I try very hard to be a good person, yet many of my friends and family members have turned on me just because I've done things they're jealous of. It's really crappy, actually.

Anyone else experienced this? How do you manage it? My only solution so far has been to never talk about myself ever with most people. It works, but it leaves me feeling pretty lonely much of the time.

Yes I've experience that. People always get upset with me once they find out I make a good living and only work 2 days a week because they have to work 5 usually. I had a patient's wife ask me just this last weekend what my work schedule is and I said I work Saturday and Sunday and I'm off the rest of the week. She said "that would give you plenty of time to work another job. So you work anywhere else?" NO! I almost blew my top because I've heard that so many times - especially since I don't have kids or a husband. Ugh. My brother and my dad have said the same thing. I just work smarter and not harder.

Last edited by nurseangela on 05 Jul 2016, 7:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Or maybe you're just overpaid.

See, another one that's mad. You can just kiss my patootie.

See, if I were to meet someone like you, my reaction would be, "Wow. That's awesome you've set your life up like that. What do you do with all the time off?" I would then try to get you talking and learn how you set that up and talk about alternative lifestyles (I define that as anything that isn't your typical 9-5 M-F work 50 weeks/year). It would never even occur to me to start badmouthing you, and it's only been in the last year or two that I came to understand that jealously and even hatred is the default reaction you get from most people when you're successful in pretty much any way. I honestly find it bizarre.

I'm not sure that you would get that reaction from "most people," but you would certainly get that reaction from anyone on the political Left. Leftism is driven by envy and resentment -- so you see, that money isn't really yours, you didn't make that money, you don't need that money, you only have it because you're oppressing other people and taking it away from them, etc., etc., you running-dog Capitalist pig lackey, you.

Last edited by Darmok on 05 Jul 2016, 8:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I really don't like the question "What do you do on your time off?" That's usually their next question. I now answer WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT.

What they don't get is most of them wouldn't want to do my job. That's why I'm back in school because I don't want to do my job. Nursing isn't what they think it is.

Actually the worst one was my ex friend De De who was a far Left winger and boy did she let me have it. She actually said I made too much money and should give some of it away. Probably to her! F'n b***h. (This is a real sore spot with me)

I can't offer advice for your situation, but I am curious: How do you generate your passive income? If you don't want to answer, I understand of course.