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TeaEarlGreyHot
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07 Dec 2011, 4:48 pm

I've often complained that people never seem to understand the depth of my feelings, whether it be how much I like something/someone, or some other feeling I have. It's been a sore issue for me for quite a while, because I can never seem to express exactly what it is I feel.

Today, I realized a large part of my problem is that I trivialize it. Example...

"You really seem to like shoes."
"Yes, they are nice."

What I really feel and should be saying is "Shoes make me very happy. Especially when I find a pair that works well for me."




I don't know why I'm posting this here... just been doing a bit of self-reflection and kind of wanted to say it. :)


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Lecks
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07 Dec 2011, 5:01 pm

This resonates with my own behaviour.

Example:
What I say: "I don't know what I want to do with my life."
What I really mean: "I'm afraid to take risks and try new things so I've settled for mediocrity."

We're silly things.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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07 Dec 2011, 5:10 pm

Yep, I recall saying/meaning those exact things.


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Radiofixr
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07 Dec 2011, 5:10 pm

That sounds correct to me


Example Someone asks how I feel- I say "fine" Really I am feeling upset or frustrated or sad or not feeling well.


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07 Dec 2011, 5:35 pm

I say "I don't know" all the time, when really, I just don't want to talk about it.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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07 Dec 2011, 5:38 pm

Sparx wrote:
I say "I don't know" all the time, when really, I just don't want to talk about it.


See, I don't lie.


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rabbitears
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07 Dec 2011, 6:19 pm

I always trivialise my own negative feelings more than anything. I just can't express them well enough until they get so bottled up I just go mental and either shutdown or panic and beat the crap out of myself or do some other irrational weirdness that confuses myself and everyone else around me.

If I feel awful and people ask me if I'm okay, I just tend to go "yup fine". Default response.

Recently I've made some progress by going "Meh" and shaking my head slightly. It's difficult though, no idea why. It just is. If I get really good I might soon be able to turn the "Meh" into a "Nah".

I also have a certain amount of a lack of understanding when it comes to my emotions. Like when people ask me what is wrong, I often reply with "I don't know" as that is often the case.


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MONKEY
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07 Dec 2011, 6:21 pm

I have trivialised bad things that happen to me or cause negative feelings, I make them seem better than what they really are and try to compare them to things I like or shrug it off as "normal" even if one bad thing certainly isn't. I try to play things down a lot.


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MONKEY
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07 Dec 2011, 6:22 pm

rabbitears wrote:
I always trivialise my own negative feelings more than anything. I just can't express them well enough until they get so bottled up I just go mental and either shutdown or panic and beat the crap out of myself or do some other irrational weirdness that confuses myself and everyone else around me.

If I feel awful and people ask me if I'm okay, I just tend to go "yup fine". Default response.

Recently I've made some progress by going "Meh" and shaking my head slightly. It's difficult though, no idea why. It just is. If I get really good I might soon be able to turn the "Meh" into a "Nah".

I also have a certain amount of a lack of understanding when it comes to my emotions. Like when people ask me what is wrong, I often reply with "I don't know" as that is often the case.


Saaaammme.


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keira
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07 Dec 2011, 6:39 pm

rabbitears wrote:
I always trivialise my own negative feelings more than anything. I just can't express them well enough until they get so bottled up I just go mental and either shutdown or panic and beat the crap out of myself or do some other irrational weirdness that confuses myself and everyone else around me.

If I feel awful and people ask me if I'm okay, I just tend to go "yup fine". Default response.

Recently I've made some progress by going "Meh" and shaking my head slightly. It's difficult though, no idea why. It just is. If I get really good I might soon be able to turn the "Meh" into a "Nah".

I also have a certain amount of a lack of understanding when it comes to my emotions. Like when people ask me what is wrong, I often reply with "I don't know" as that is often the case.


I'm very much like this. It is difficult.
Even if I manage to squeeze out the real answer and tell someone what's been bothering me I always end up adding "But that's OK", "I'll be just fine", "I'll survive" or something like that followed by "reassuring smile".



TeaEarlGreyHot
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07 Dec 2011, 6:48 pm

rabbitears wrote:
I always trivialise my own negative feelings more than anything. I just can't express them well enough until they get so bottled up I just go mental and either shutdown or panic and beat the crap out of myself or do some other irrational weirdness that confuses myself and everyone else around me.

If I feel awful and people ask me if I'm okay, I just tend to go "yup fine". Default response.

Recently I've made some progress by going "Meh" and shaking my head slightly. It's difficult though, no idea why. It just is. If I get really good I might soon be able to turn the "Meh" into a "Nah".

I also have a certain amount of a lack of understanding when it comes to my emotions. Like when people ask me what is wrong, I often reply with "I don't know" as that is often the case
.


Yes yes, I'm the same way. It takes me a bit to figure out what's wrong. Especially when a hypomanic episode strikes, as confusion is a major part of it for me. It gets harder to think straight.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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07 Dec 2011, 6:49 pm

keira wrote:
rabbitears wrote:
I always trivialise my own negative feelings more than anything. I just can't express them well enough until they get so bottled up I just go mental and either shutdown or panic and beat the crap out of myself or do some other irrational weirdness that confuses myself and everyone else around me.

If I feel awful and people ask me if I'm okay, I just tend to go "yup fine". Default response.

Recently I've made some progress by going "Meh" and shaking my head slightly. It's difficult though, no idea why. It just is. If I get really good I might soon be able to turn the "Meh" into a "Nah".

I also have a certain amount of a lack of understanding when it comes to my emotions. Like when people ask me what is wrong, I often reply with "I don't know" as that is often the case.


I'm very much like this. It is difficult.
Even if I manage to squeeze out the real answer and tell someone what's been bothering me I always end up adding "But that's OK", "I'll be just fine", "I'll survive" or something like that followed by "reassuring smile".


OMG YES! I always seem to add "I'll survive. I always do."


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Circle989898
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07 Dec 2011, 6:52 pm

I do the same thing. I want to release my feelings for something but don't. If I do I forget a lot of other things.



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07 Dec 2011, 7:17 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Sparx wrote:
I say "I don't know" all the time, when really, I just don't want to talk about it.


See, I don't lie.


What?



TeaEarlGreyHot
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07 Dec 2011, 7:28 pm

Sparx wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Sparx wrote:
I say "I don't know" all the time, when really, I just don't want to talk about it.


See, I don't lie.


What?


:?:

If I know what's wrong and don't want to talk about it, I say so. I don't lie and say I don't know when I do.


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Sparx
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07 Dec 2011, 8:35 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Sparx wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Sparx wrote:
I say "I don't know" all the time, when really, I just don't want to talk about it.


See, I don't lie.


What?


:?:

If I know what's wrong and don't want to talk about it, I say so. I don't lie and say I don't know when I do.


Oh, oops. You're right, that'd be lying. I meant it more so that I don't know HOW to talk about it, and in turn don't WANT to attempt. In truth I'd love to be able to express my thoughts verbally... I've just never done that well.

I didn't mean to make myself look like a liar. D: