When someone stands as far away as possible from you...

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...at the local bus-stop while waiting for the same bus, what do you think of them?

I think that they probably like their personal space.
I do the same thing.

I think nothing, because I don't care.

This ^

Yeah but what if you notice that the particular person doesn't do it to other people standing there, who are just like you, strangers to that person too?

There's a chance that there might be a certain look, smell or vibe about you that they don't care for. Maybe it's an age gap? Style? Gender?

It doesn't matter... they want their space, let them have it.

Mindsigh's avatar reminded me that often our neutral Aspie face looks like an unhappy frown to others. Who wants to stand/sit next to a powder keg ready to explode?

Last edited by BlueMax on 29 Jan 2013, 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

Actually I can relate to that. I sat at a table at our company Christmas banquet, totally alone until the person I rode with came and sat with me. There were plenty of seats and the other tables were filling up, but no one sat by me. I said hi and smiled, but they all just ducked their heads and walked on past.

Just as well. I'm never in the mood for chit-chat anyway.

It's not something a lot of people do to me, but there are some obvious over-the-top cases that really make my veins implode.

I find that a lot of people also do the exact opposite to me, which pisses me off even more, because they always happen to be the annoying and disrespecting types you don't want around.

This happens to me all the time, with practically everyone I know. It's even spread to Facebook now.

Also, (((hugs))) to Mindsigh.

Nobody does - people seem to like invading my personal space. Personally I don't like other people waiting at the bus stop with me. In the bus station I feel differently, because there's always lots of people at all the stands, but at one single bus stop I always feel intimidated when there are one or more other people standing there and I've got to approach the bus stop and stand with them. They all look at me critically as if to say ''I wasn't expecting you to stop here and wait for the bus too''. It always make me feel so intimidated. I often give people a smile, but they just glare at me and never smile back, so I've given up on that too.

It seems that some Aspies look too tough and people avoid them, whilst other Aspies look too timid and people target them. I think I just look like I'm simple (as in dim-witted) because people stand right next to me as though they're thinking ''OK, let's stand here, this girl looks so stupid that she's not even going to think anything if we stand in her personal space''. I'm usually looking around observing everyone so it's not like look zoned out in my own world.

I know what you mean.

It doesn't happen often, but there are times I feel a stranger is keeping away from me purposely. Also, when I sit in the bus or train, somehow the seat next to me is not taken until almost all the others have been taken. I have always thought maybe it's because I look ugly or something, but recently I think I'm actually giving off some aura of tension or something, which people can sense.

I myself actually try to keep some space between others and myself if I can.

It happens to me a lot too, but the type of people who I don't want next to me, end up next to me all the time, which from now on got me to use single seats only or just stand up for the whole ride as "revenge".

I also use handicapped seats now which provide more personal space and are easier to stand up from.

But once a "normal" person sits next to me for a while when I seat on a double seat, my bus ride gets easier on that department, but that rarely happens sadly enough.

Bus-rides are a pure nightmare when you use muti-seats.

From what I understand, NT people can "feel signals" which are normally put out by people, and I guess that we with Asperger's, don't put out any signals (or we put out odd ones) that don't register with NT bystanders. That might cause them to be afraid, as it's normal to be afraid of the unknown sometimes.

Charles

I can see how that might put someone off, but I prefer it to people who get too close to you. (Anyone ever see the Seinfeld episode where Elaine is dating a close-talker?)

Is the main reason why I hate having Asperger's. It's so shameful to appear odd without actually acting/looking odd. Then when I whine about being singled out or targeted, people always say to me ''think yourself lucky you're not deformed. You'll be ashamed and more self-conscious then.'' Um, my situation is a bit like being deformed because I get the same looks and the same reactions from people as if I were physically deformed. I might aswell call myself deformed, instead of looking upon myself as having an ordinary look.

I don't mind. In fact, the farther they stand, the happier I am. That's one less person in my personal space.