Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,589
Location: Near London United Kingdom

22 Jul 2013, 4:44 pm

When someone says "change your attitude and maybe then people will stop being so aggressive and unfriendly around you"

What does that mean in more depth?



Uprising
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,908

22 Jul 2013, 6:25 pm

Lose your originality and become a sheep.



MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 14,565
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)

22 Jul 2013, 8:41 pm

They're pretty much telling you to try and blend in because they don't know how to handle your awesomeness.


_________________
Hi there! Please refer to me as Moss. Unable to change my username to reflect that change. Have a nice day. <3


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,187
Location: In my own little country

22 Jul 2013, 10:38 pm

They're telling you to be a mindless drone like the rest of society.


_________________
The Family Schlager


equestriatola
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 154,040
Location: Wherever my mind wants it to be

22 Jul 2013, 11:01 pm

Um, "Grow a backbone!"


_________________
Hey, all. I'm just Johnny. Go ahead and talk to me if ya wish.


OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

24 Jul 2013, 2:20 pm

It really depends on what your attitude is. I couldn't tell you unless I saw a video of you doing day to day interactions or something. There are lots of things they could mean. They could mean that you come across like you are arguing when you are just trying to clarify or understand something (happened to me). They could mean that you come across like you are in a bad mood when you aren't in one at all, because maybe your resting face doesn't look friendly or your tone of voice comes across as unfriendly (seen that in people before). They could mean many different things, so if I were you I'd ask them "I'd like to do that if you could tell me specifically what it is that you think I should work on. Do you have any suggestions I could try?"

Although usually when people say that to me it means "Stop being such a b****!" but I'm aware of that now so I apologize and try to stop that, at least for a while. Although I doubt that's your problem, you seem like a nice guy.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 96,102
Location: UK

24 Jul 2013, 2:40 pm

People used to say that to me. I think they say it because they think they know better, but if you're happy then just be yourself.


_________________
we have existence


AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 76,346
Location: Portland, Oregon

24 Jul 2013, 3:13 pm

My mom and my sister say this to me all the time in a way that I'm used to it.


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

27 Jul 2013, 2:06 pm

You appear to have a negative outlook or your not giving off a vib of being nice & friendly. Us Aspies someteims give us bad vibs even thou we're good people because of the expressions on our face tone of voice, way we interact ect & it causes peopel to get the wrong impression & treat us negatively


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

27 Jul 2013, 4:15 pm

nick007 wrote:
You appear to have a negative outlook or your not giving off a vib of being nice & friendly. Us Aspies someteims give us bad vibs even thou we're good people because of the expressions on our face tone of voice, way we interact ect & it causes peopel to get the wrong impression & treat us negatively


You make a good point there about the facial expressions. I was in my 30's before I realized that I was walking around with a totally blank expression unless I was actually involved with a conversation or something. I found out when I saw home videos of me. I would sit there in a room full of friendly people, listening to their conversation and not having anything to add so I didn't smile, or make expressions like I was interested or anything. Sometimes I'd look like I was bored to death. But, the whole time I was listening and interested. I just wasn't overly excited interested.

I had to make it a point to remember to put an expression on my face around other people. I would remind myself. Sometimes I catch myself still doing that, but I stop it when I notice others and then I put an expression on my face.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


savvyidentity
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jul 2013
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 450

28 Jul 2013, 12:01 pm

It means stop expecting people to do something bad and being on the lookout for it. Stop being defensive, etc. Your attitude can make you less approachable.