Upset - Family Away, Having Fun

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I'm home alone for a week, and my folks are off and having fun, and they post their picture updates on Facebook.
I'm upset, not becuase I'm home alone, but becuase the reason I chose to be home alone. Awkwardness.
I can image me being there and feeling awkward, not having nearly as much fun as they are. Everytime I go somewhere with my folks, something happens, I get upset, but even if I don't, I don't enjoy things, becuase I'm always feeling awkward. I always see a girl, that I like, what to talk to her, but don't know what to say, or if I do it doesn't go anywhere.

I am glad to be home alone. I get to do what I want, without anyone bothering me. I get to eat what I want and when (healthy foods that is). I get to exercise. I just think about me being there, and feeling awkward or upset about something. Not knowing what to do, or how to act. Seeing a beautiful girl at a table by herself, racking my mind on what to say to her. I look at her, I can't keep my eyes off of her. All of sudden, she looks up, and she looks at me, gives me nasty look, as if I insulted her, as if to say, please, don't bother, you're out of my league. I feel like with them (my family), but apart, because they don't understand me, sorta like, in my own bubble.

I image having a supportive group of female friends, who are with me, and I feel normal, the other people don't matter, because they matter, they understand me, are there for me, and always brightening my day. We can be silly, do silly things together, it's not just me. I always dream of that, or at least a girlfriend. Instead, I'm alone, whether with people, or not. I picture a view from a camera on me, backing away and all these people doing their own thing, having a good time, and I'm just standing there, with my head slightly turned down.

I'm sorry if I'm not clear, my communication skills are really bad,and I also say what is in my thoughts.