Ask a super villain

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Do you have any deep perplexing questions that you wish to ask an expert of?

Rather than doing that, why not ask a super villain! For the replies to this thread I will don my super villain persona while giving answers.

Where is your secret bunker?

Well, that depends on what you mean. I have a large number of orbital facilities, of which I could be in any number of at various moments. Or do you mean one that isn't actually widely known?

In which case, assuming I had one? It would be in a secret location.

A man I work with at the zoo is about to report me for stealing elephant tranquilizers how should I deal with him?

There are two options.

The first is to implant him with a mind control device. I am going to assume that you do not have one though.

The other option is to jab him with some elephant tranquillizers, then claim that he was planning to frame you, as you were planning to report him. It helps if you can plant some evidence to help back up this claim.

Well got good news and bad news. The Good news is i just heard on my 2-way radio that Tom (the guy in question) "slipped" into a pond with gators and is history. The bad news is he has in fact told the boss as I just got an e-mail from the boss telling me to report to his office by the end of the day. I think I need hardcore villain advice now!

Well, it may be an unrelated issue. But just in case be sure to carry a concealed plasma gun. He may have agents of the law with him so it could quickly turn into a fire fight.

Before going into said office, make sure to scan it quickly with Ex-Ray googles (I assume you do not have X-Ray vision).

And it goes without saying, have a jetpack ready for a quick escape. You can blast a hole in the roof if need be. Since jetpacks are unreliable, make sure to have another escape vehicle nearby as well.


Try to use some kind of device to gain control of the zoo denizens as well. They are often more effective than goons! At the very least, it would make a good distraction.


Upon making a successful escape, you should take up a career as a bank robber.

my furniture has suddenly come to life and is spewing acid at me. it's cornered me. what do i do?

... Spit acid back?

where on earth am i going to get acid from? if i touch the acid, my hand will burn.

What is the molarity of battery acid?

Baken soda will really piss them off though

Oh, you don't have that power. Well, what super powers DO you have?


Not enough! The flesh isn't away nearly fast enough for my tastes >:(

i can raise chickens from the dead

Raise some chickens from the dead to distract the chairs. Then sneak up behind them with a flame thrower and burn them.

Where does one acquire hydroflouric acid which is the only acid stronger than battery acid?