Getting in blamed for other peoples actions

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I saw a youtube video by a couple "whining" about their unfair treatment they got on youtube. What happened is their comments got disabled by youtube and now they can no longer allow anyone to comment on their content. Why? Because pedophiles were making inappropriate comments in on their videos and these people can't monitor every comment people make on their channel because of how popular their channel is, they just can't keep up. Now these people feel punished for other peoples actions. Now they have a competition up for everyone to sign to get youtube to enable their comments now.

Even when my dad was in 6th grade, we went to a convenient store with a friend and he didn't even know his friend had taken something without paying until an officer caught up with the and arrested them. He got grounded for a month by his parents. I hoped my dad had lost that friend because if a friend did that with me and didn't defend me, I would dump their ass and it would be unforgivable and their act was selfish. A true friend would never let their friend take the blame or let them get in trouble for their actions.

Even I have gotten into trouble for other peoples actions. It happened to my brother too in high school, he was driving my parents pick up truck and his friends decided to throw smoke bombs and fire crackers out the car window and my brother got in trouble for it too by the police and my mom had to fight them to not make her kid do community service and have it go on his criminal record just because his friends decided to be idiots.


This isn't even an NT thing because I have seen autistic people with the same mindset. If you are around when something bad happens, you are responsible for it too and guilty of it. It doesn't matter if you didn't plan it or know about it until afterwards.

I remember on an internet forum, a forum admin hooked up with a 17 year old member from that same forum and even though the age of consent in the UK is 16 and they were both in the UK where it happened, they had sex and the forum owner made a tough decision to ban him because he wanted to protect his forum and his rep and didn't want no part of that action and be held accountable for it and also the admin was in his 30's and yeah, lot of people find it creepy for a long time adult to date someone who is barely the age of consent and the fact he was under 18. I remember him saying the whole thing was very hard for him and all of us understood his decision and supported him. If he didn't ban this person, people would have blamed the incident on the owner even though he had no part of it and can't control what his members do off the forum.

Does anyone understand this mentality?

Life is so e'ffing unfair. To me is a person aware of the badness? (If not, should they have been? -tricky there). If so, did they *authentically* protest, encourage or stay silent (for the latter -why, e.g. fear of what? - tricky there) In fact, tricky all around.

I just read a book and the driver assumes his passenger is going somewhere to get rich and treats him badly, then discovers the passenger is going to save a child and comes around. My NT husband is always making assumptions and it drives me crazy (why would you assume that?! !!) and I am always asking for clarification which drives him crazy (just make your best guess and we'll deal with it later).

My friend with Aspie traits was called into the jury box and asked about reasonable doubt. Needless to say she answered concisely and was excused from duty.

One thing that sickened me online was when I read an article about someone's ex husband arriving to their home with their kids because it was her turn to have joint custody of them and the dad wanted the kids all to himself so he shot their kids in front of her and himself. People in the comments were blaming the mother for the death of her kids because "she should have stopped him" and other people in the comments were like "dude, he had a gun" or "Dude, maybe she wasn't expecting hit when it happened." It was very sickening.

There was another one where two friends were together and then these guys arrived and broke into their hopme and shot the friend and kidnapped the other friend. She got arrested too with the kidnappers for the murder of her friend and everyone was like "you didn't call 911." I mean, dudes, they had a gun and she was scared for her life, how the hell was she supposed to call 911 when they had guns and had just killed her friend? Charges were eventually dropped the the lady and she appeared on the Dr. Phil show about it because it still affected her because people still blamed her for the kidnappers actions.

Just as long as you were there where the action took place, you are somehow part of the crime and have control over other peoples actions.

Sometimes I get paranoid

Autism symptoms like,

Poor eye contact
Flat affect
Trembling

Whatever

Could be misconstrued as indicators of guilt


Paranoid about getting framed for a felony


Wrongful conviction

Since we're on a sad subject, that applies to abuse also. "Why didn't you say something/tell someone?" FEAR, and in some cases "I tried." FORSAKEN. Of course they can always say "You didn't try hard enough." So sad.

There's some psychological term for folks attributing a crime to the victim, it's makes them feel safer --- it's not random violence that might happen to me. I read about it in the book "Complicated Grief", a woman dealing with the murder of her parents and other issues folks try to grieve that aren't socially "acceptable". Makes me a bit bitter.

Those Pedo's need to be tracked down and reported to the authorities.

Stockholm syndrome?

I think this also applies to child abuse too. The child might form some sort of bond with their parent to keep them from being their target so they can have a good relationship but it's all fear, not love.

This reminds me of a time when I was in elementary skewl & we were all lined up in a row. One of the kids pushed somebody & that person fell into somebody else who then fell into me & I fell into somebody else. Anyways about 6 of us fell & everyone of us 6 got in trouble for pushing the person in front of us.

I think it was very common in school to get in trouble for 1 kid's actions. Like the whole class loses part of recess because that one kid wouldn't stop talking. Or 1 kid is giving another kid trouble and they both get into trouble for being disruptive. This was a normal thing in my school. But when I got to around 4th grade, I started to get the full blame because I made myself vulnerable because of my lack of reading social cues and my inability to read social situations correctly so it affected how I would react and it made me a target to other kids who did real life trolling.


As the authority, it's impossible to tell who the victimizer is so it's easier to punish both as a way to get 1 of them to not cause trouble so they won't get a consequence.

Unfortunately your rite that it is pretty common in skewl. My mom's a retired teacher & she very seldom would punish the whole class for the actions of a few. She hated when that happened to her as a kid. She might would punish the whole class if over half of them were acting up & would not stop talking after she told em to quiet down. But if only one or two were doing something bad & she didn't know who, she would just talk to the class & noone would get in trouble.
I tended to get the full blame when I was in skewl too. Whenever a classmate would blame me for something, they were automatically believed & I was automatically guilty. One time in 6th grade a bully accused me of grabbing his crotch during a fight. I would NEVER do something like that intentionally but looking back it's possible I might of brushed against it during the fight. I insisted I did not do it & really believed it at the time. If I had done it accidentally I sure wouldn't of wanted to admit even to myself that I did it accidentally due to how much trouble I was in & they would of just focused on the part about me admitting to doing it & the part about it being an accident would NOT have been processed by anyone. Anyways my dad had a meeting with the principle while I was there & my dad asked if there were any witnesses. The principle actually said "I don't think he would lie" & then went on about how I needed counseling to learn about inappropriate touches. It didn't make sense to my parents that I would do that since I didn't like anyone touching me & would only touch others when they initiated high-5s or handshakes. I also did not have any sexual interest in guys & was too much in my own world to ever really be caught staring at anyone. It's possible my parents might of been open to considering I had done it but after my dad saw the way I was railroaded by the principle, nothing happened at all after I got home.