What do you do when someone is mean to you?

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I cry. I'm uber sensitive and any time anyone chooses meaness to get their point across, I feel like I'm the loser of the world.

I also contemplate revenge.

Like yesterday, some of the mulch from my garden got blown onto the sidewalk in front of my neighbor's house. When he came over to ask me to clean it up, he leaned up against my house w/ his arms folded, was very sarcastic and said, "Are you going to clean up your mess or are you going to just leave it there?" I apologized & cleaned it up right away, but I also felt there was no reason for him to be mean to me.

So as I ate dinner, the scene played over & over in my head. My revenge idea was to sprinkle stale bread on my side of the property line, but parellel to his car. I wanted to attract birds in hopes they would poop all over his car.
In the end, I chose not to do it, but I'm definitely filing that one away in memory in case he hurts my feelings again.

So how do you handle it when someone is mean to you?

There are a lot of sarky little buggers out there.

Revenge is fun to plot, but unfortunately the most effective methods of it (even just giving him a thump in his smug little face) are frustratingly illegal.

I will generally settle for muttering expletives under my breath and, if they are a good amount older than me, contenting myself with the fact that they will probably be dead before I am.

I'm pretty much the same as you - I comply with their request / let them get away with horrible behaviour then afterwards feels really bad about it and persecuted.
I am trying to be more assertive now though and put the blame for the incidents on the perpetrators and not turn it on myself for being worthless/stupid etc.
I suppose the best response would have been to say yes you would clean it up now it had been pointed out to you what had happened but there was no reason for him to take that attitude for it - politeness costs nothing.
I think because we act younger than we are/are perceived as naive then people think they can treat us as easy prey.
Be careful of him, he sounds like a bully.

I watch this.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7vCww3j2-w[/youtube]

I like this version but it will not embedd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sztxP-8k2ig

Last edited by TheMachine1 on 04 Aug 2007, 9:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

There have been many times when people were quite mean to me and I've not noticed.

On those occasions I have only found out when people have pointed it out to me.

I think I am better off not noticing; if people want to be mean it's their problem and if I've not even noticed it just makes their meanness even sillier.

I pray for them in hopes that they're saved from their own misery. Misery does like company. Don't join their table. The food might taste delicious, but it isn't nutritious. You'll end up getting cancer.

When you know someone is being mean to you, don't react; know you have a choice on how to act. Who you are determines what you'll choose.

I shut 'em out. I've always imagined a big switch, and when someone abuses my trust to a significant degree, the switch gets thrown, and the offending party's then "dead to me". Once this happens, it's almost impossible for them to earn their way back. The moral: "Don't tread on me."

May sound childish, but I'm absolutely fine with it.

That's pretty much me. Up til now, people have been either "in" or "out" with me, no second chances, etc. But since being diagnosed and working on some of my own issues, I've been able to add a third place for folks who are basically ok but still not to be trusted. I guess I'll call that "arm's length." I don't actually trust those people any more than I did before, but I no longer hold them in contempt, which is less stressful for me in the long run.

i agree. when you are mean to others, you are actually creating a negative energy in yourself which in turn makes you even more miserable. thats nice that you pray for them. maybe i should try that, too.

That was a great visual you just gave me

I simply tell them to <bleep> off. Nobody pushes me around, nor do I let them linger in my thoughts. Peopla suck! I just get it out and move on. Although, I think you should do the bird thing. I mean, if you can do so by attracting them to your yard near his car, there is nothing illegal about that. This guy knows he can push you around and will likely continue to. Maybe next time.

"Anger is a gift!" -Rage Against The Machine

Either cry or just ignore it. Fortunately no one has been mean to me in a while.

I agree with Trigger on how to handle people like that. I can't always say "f off" in those exact words, so I do it with my eyes. I've always had one of those hard, fixed stares, and over the years I've started using it to my benefit. As a result, I don't get smart remarks like that from many folks. If that neighbor had made that sarcastic comment to me about the mulch, I'd have just stared at him and said "yeah, I'm gonna clean it up right now. Sorry about that." For some reason, people get much more respectful if you look at them a certain way.

As for the bread crumb prank idea, that might be fun. My AS mom has always loved pranks like that, but I've never bothered. I don't want to spend any extra time thinking about people I don't like, and I seem to be better at confronting them on the spot.

Be mean back.