I have a problem being diplomatic.
My dad always told me that there was only one language bullies understood. He told me to beat them within an inch of their life, to bash their face in, to smear my lunch in their face, tell them to f**k off, spit on them, put dog s**t in their lunch. He encouraged me to fight them. He said he'd deal with the school and their goody-two-shoes crap, or something to that effect.
But none of this is diplomatic.
But still, what if all else fails and you're stuck there? Whenever my dad attacked his bullies back they never bothered him again. Ever.
I admit that I've done this on this board too. Once I attacked two people who attacked me, they and even the friend of one of them never bothered me again or trashed me in public again. I admit I should have told them to do it in private. Maybe they would have still done it anyway because they wanted sympathy for their pathetic cause. I don't know.
These were a bunch of people (banned and with their own board that the net authority knew about and just warned people of the language and bashing--they had nothing to lose) called me every name under the sun and tried to make a crime out of something innocuous I did that most people either liked or had no problem with (talking a lot). If my mother had seen all that stuff that was written about me, she would have thought that I had done something wrong and was seriously annoying people and would have told me off and told me to stop, that I was bothering people.
Why tell them off? They're entitled to their opinion. I couldn't stop them from expressing it. I admit I should have tried though. But anyway, they were starting to effect people, trying to turn others against me like some gossips and all slanderers do, and that makes them no better than them. Finally I posted something so disgusting aimed at the one that came back with sockpuppets seemingly with the sole goal of telling everyone how I was annoying lots of people and thus trying to turn others against me, that she actually stopped bothering me from then on. She didn't want to have more vile s**t thrown at her; she was already depressed enogh, so she stopped slinging s**t at me.
So then her friend got really mad at me for it and started slinging s**t at me, bragging three times about how he was going to get me good, and with nothing but that comment in his posts. He might have thought he was immune and would get me good because I might feel ashamed of standing up to him because he once defended me (though he was still friends with the others and tried his best to fit in with them). So I posted something almost as vile about him and he stopped.
Yes, this was a while back. Everything's peaceful with them now; I'm only using this as an example.
Then there was the person who told a friend of mine that alll I wanted was to be the center of attention and I couldnt be helped. Basically, she wanted me censored from posting in the Haven. Excuse me; she didn't have to READ my threads! This smelled like trouble, like she was another person who just needed someone to pick on. So I told her off in three successive PMs, one of them insulting, I admit... I was pissed that she was a censorer, I had read a post of hers and she had encouraged a parent to seek treatment for her kid to rid the kid of behaviors that embarrassed the parent! Some autistic this person was! Some solidarity she showed! Finally, her friend waho was also my friend admitted that all THREE of us had acted dishonorably-- not just him for ratting his friend out and me for insulting her, but also her for gossipping about me and slandering me rather than taking the matter up with me directly.
This is killing me because as you know, I'm against giving "aversive therapy". But I'm also against getting aversives for just being myself. I wish I knew a better way to stop bullies, a way that didn't hurt them.
01 Feb 2008, 6:14 pm
