16 Dec 2012, 10:47 pm
Well, I wasn't sure where to post this, so I figured it would be safe in here. I'm looking for a little advice.
Let's just say that things have been going pretty crazy with my younger brother, a 16 year-old high school sophomore. In short, he's stuck on the computer hour after hour after hour, his grades have slipped, he yells and screams the most insulting things when my mother tries to confront him about it, and it all makes me a combination of very upset and scared to death about what it is/could do to our family dynamics (e.g., I'm thinking that, 'If he just did well in school, my parents would not be arguing like that,' etc.) But then I suppose I can't say much about that, since my eating disorder in the past very likely caused just as much worry and tension--all of which, in theory, just didn't have to happen if I hadn't been that way.
But enough self stuff. Basically, it's my brother. As mentioned, he's been doing poorly in school and arguing with my parents all over the place....he's not receptive to anything and just disappears into the computer screen. Since I'm back on break from college now, I've been tasked with helping him through his review sheets for some of his final exams.
When he's calmed down and willing to work with me, he seems to know EVERYTHING...he can do the math lightning fast and doesn't seem to have many issues with his chemistry unless he just hasn't seen the material before. At the same time, he doesn't seem to care much, which leads to careless, incomplete work, poor grades, arguing parents 
, etc. My central question is whether his issues are caused by a video game addiction, his just not trying, or even ADHD. His games/whatever he does on the computer (he's also into 3D modeling) is EXTREMELY important to him and gets in the way of his studies. He's also very defensive about it. My dad sees this as just a bad choice on his part, which I agree is a good possibility, but I think he might actually have an underlying issue (ADHD) that makes focusing on anything besides the constantly simulating computer screen a battle. A few bullet points, since I can't think of a good way to combine all this 
:
*Even for a teenage boy, I'm a little alarmed at how horrible (and LARGE) my brother's handwriting is. He seems to be incapable of writing small and seems to write with great effort--in fact, has handwriting hasn't changed since he first learned as a kindergartener and looks out of place. I said something about the size once and joked about if he knew how to write any smaller, and he seemed a little embarrassed.
*He is as sharp as a tack (in the GT program at school, very witty, often completely competent in the subjects he procrastinates/struggles with), but it doesn't show. Because of this, I think, he gets extremely angry and defensive when he gets in trouble for not trying hard enough in school. Maybe he DOES try...or, rather, maybe he WANTS to try, but he is literally unable to focus. (The video games don't help, since my parents argue that if he can focus on THEM, then he can focus on school, but I think that they have so much simulation/engagement with graphics, flashing colors, instant gratification, and rapid movement that books and worksheets simply do not have and can thus reel in an ADHD mind..?)
*He is pretty disorganized and carries (or carried last semester when I was home ...haven't seen his stuff now) a ~5 pound expandable folder stuffed with school papers.
*He is mean, mean, MEAN, and I wonder if it's a way of responding to being misunderstood, since he doesn't seem able to ask for help (maybe out of pride or fear)?
Anyway, anyone have words of advice/is the ADHD thing possible? I don't want to get into my brother's business too much, but when my parents argue and I see him yell and insult people, I am deeply worried and hurt. Moreover, he won't be in high school forever, and I'm afraid for his future when he goes out on his own.
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