Why is sleeping in the same bed such a big deal to them???

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When I go to visit my boyfriend, we usually end up in the same bed. I don't feel comfortable sleeping in his grandmother's bed, she's a smoker, and I don't want to make her sleep on the couch. It feels rude. I also feel uncomfortable being at the house and being alone at night. The first time I stayed for awhile, they didn't seem to care. Now suddenly it's this massive deal, where she kept saying no and then made us promise we were not having sex and wouldn't be.

The thing is, when we are sleeping in the same bed, there is NOTHING sexual about it. It's not even like we're holding each other while we sleep. He's splayed out snoring on one side, i'm splayed on the other, and we have a massive amount of stuffed animals between us, and the dog!

At my house, I slept on the floor, and he slept on the bed. We would both rather just sleep in the same bed. It's comfy, and it feels comforting to have a friend nearby. He is coming next month, for my 18th birthday. My mother mentioned his grandmother mentioned about sleeping in the same bed, that she doesn't want it. my mom assured her that she has an air mattress. She said our sleeping in the same bed "Makes a lot of people uncomfortable"

I really don't get it. I'm 17 years old, he is 16. We aren't like the other teens, going out driving, having loud parties with drugs and alcohol, and having sex! I don't do *any* of the things that most other teens do. The worst thing i've ever done is to get people from the internet to bring me a kitten! why would they find this sexual?? It's just comforting.

opinions.

It's comforting until the hormones kick in and then it can lead to something more. You're playing with fire. The adults know this because they've been there themselves.

Also, since you're about to turn 18, if you did have sex there would be legal issues since he is still a minor.

Because parents are weird.

I'm not sure why people think it's bad either (although I've never done it myself yet ), after all it's just a bed.

Because if normal boyfriends and girlfriends sleep in the same bed they will frequently end up having sex.

His grandmother is assuming this.

Because they have dirty minds and in normality, sleeping in the same bed means sex so they just can't understand it's not the case for you.

Heck I've learned when a women is enjoying being rubbed, she wants sex but that's not the case for me. I've always loved getting rubbed. It feels good and it's relaxing. I had no idea it was a sensory issue. I mean don't lot of people like being rubbed? My bf said I like it more than lot of people.

A couple of reasons they are uncomfortable with it. Your boyfriend is not castrated, he's got all the man parts and everyone knows that a man's hormones get the better of him eventually. It may be all innocent now, but the potential for temptation is there, and as you're already sharing the same bed, there just isn't much to discourage that next so so easy step and to prevent it from happening. And finally they probably don't want you going and getting pregnant, because they'd likely get stuck sharing the responsibility and paying the medical expenses.

Why can't you sleep on the couch?

I do agree with you, but I also understand why it makes people uncomfortable. My mom too could never ever imagine two people who liked eachother being alone without having sex. I have shared hotel rooms with a boyfriend alone on several occasions and we did not have sex. But some people just cant understand that. *Shrug*

people always find stuff to complain and nit pick about
its life

^ This.

not everyone is so reckless
saying that-is pretty much calling him a pig and her a whore
she says they aren't having sex-and her boyfriend sounds the respectful type
sleeping in the same bed-is sleeping, thats it
people have this stupid stigmata and foolish beliefs about it

My parents did this, too, until just a few years ago. Parents don't like to think about their children having sex. Hormones happen.

An ex-girlfriend's mother didn't like us sleeping in the same bed when we visited her house, even though the the girl and I were living together, and obviously slept in the same bed at home...

I used to sleep in beds with women and not have sex with them when I was in my teens.

1. Because things happen. It doesn't matter what you think... there are two people involved, you and your boyfriend - and sometimes you won't know what's on his mind.

2. Because his Grandmother is an older woman and they had a lot of worries about that sort of thing when she was little. It was a scandal then. You don't just grow out of that sort of ingrained social perception.

You can't change it. Just tell them what they want to hear and be careful. I'd recommend that you consider having contraceptives handy in case your plans change suddenly.

agreed.
i get why they are not comfortable with you and the BF sharing a bed, but i agree with you.

I don't agree that saying this 'is pretty much saying they are a pig and a whore'

They were just saying (imo) that it isn't completely unreasonable to suggest that the couple might soon enough decide to have sex. Not to be semantic but in essence it is you that indirectly makes the implication that they 'would be a pig and a whore' if they did.

The grandmother may seem to be being overly prudish but perhaps her main worry is of an unwanted pregnacy and one shouldn't criticise too harshly if that is the primary motivation to her protestations.