I've only had my heart broken once, and I veered wildly between so depressed I wanted to die and so angry I could hardly breathe. I did so badly in school that I had to withdraw for a while. My big complication was that I was pregnant, and the guy left me (to be with a girl who'd been pursuing him) less than a week after I told him. I couldn't understand how on a Tuesday, you could visit someone, tell her you love her, make love, encourage her to have the baby, and on Friday leave her for someone else -- I must have asked him 5 or 6 times how to "turn off" love. He claimed he'd really loved me, but I doubt it. He kept telling me to try to remember the good times, and all I could think was that he'd gone skipping off into a less complicated situation, leaving me to deal with everything alone. (I miscarried at 3 months, and never told him.) I heard later that he had attempted to rape a woman, and that ended my pain for once and for all. Whether or not he did, I can't say, but I'm glad I got out of it when I did, if that is the kind of person he turned into!
I had a lot of support from my friends. One time at a club I got so upset dancing to "Marilyn, My Bitterness," that two of my guyfriends dragged me off the floor and into the bar area and spent the rest of the night competing for who could come up with the worst line. They had me in stitches by the end of the night from the sheer cheesiness. Two of my girlfriends absolutely refused to leave me alone for weeks after, and had me sleep over in their rooms. Then I met a terrific guy who was kind, and patient, and thought I was beautiful and smart and fun. He really helped me pick up the pieces and put myself back together and open my heart again...we were together for over 4 years and stayed friends until I got married. (At that point, he had some sort of flip out, and still -- after 3 years -- refuses to speak to me.)
22 Sep 2010, 11:59 pm
