Being friends with other women.

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My problem is that when I'm in a group of people, I just shut off. I don't talk, make eye contact, smile, nada. Most girls find this extremely annoying/ creepy and avoid me. Others feel sorry, try to be my friend, and the get all huffy when they figure out I don't like pity friends.
Guys on the other hand find my social awkwardness "cute" they say. They will just come around to me, talk to me about a common interest, and then, bam I have a aquantance, and then occasionally a good friend. This makes girls hate me even more for some reason. I don't really care, guys are more interesting anyway. No offense lol.

Opposite of most of you all of my close friends are women. Actually, almost all of my friends are women. I have a lot of trouble relating to them when they start talking about their relationships with other people and stuff but eh, I deal. Though, I should probably mention that almost all of my friends are other aspie girls, have ADD, or are on the "lower end" of the social scale like being a super-geek or a minority.

I'm actually afraid of most guys because of something that happened to me when I was younger so I tend to avoid them at all cost. If that hadn't happened to me then maybe I'd have more guy friends, maybe not. Most of my friends were guys before it happened though, so probably.

i definitely get on better with men. i always have and over the years i have realized it comes with its own issues. the wives / girlfriends never like me. i don't know if it's that i seem to have more in common than they do or they assume i have intentions i don't have, or they just think i'm strange. maybe because i don't know how to talk to them? also now i always wonder if a guy has intentions i am not picking up on, as i have had some male friends act strangely (trying to take physical liberties with me that i found inappropriate and was made very uncomfortable by) and have lost friends because their significant others demanded it.

women do expect more social fluency. also the gossip is nonstop, or they always want to talk about other people. men don't mind if you talk about your interests or just play video games. and i think there is something to the idea that other women just pick up that there is something off about you and are afraid of it. when i am around other women the difference is palpable. i am not like them.

i have had a few good female friends at one time or another and we've had common interests and / or they've been very tomboyish. i have terrible relationship skills (friendship and otherwise) and most of the people in my life drop off. even when i do occasionally make new friends, i don't really know if they're friends and i don't know what to do with them. and i worry now about friendships with men that it's always perceived wrong.

yes! yes.

I have one female friend, and she is lovely, but I am generally disinclined to be friends with women. They're full of things I don't understand, like meanness and spite and competitiveness and...I don't know. They bite and hiss and explode. They are frightful mysteries to me and I can only be glad to be born a straight woman.

...no offense intended.

My best and only non-familial friend at the moment just happens to be a female. She is very down to earth and open minded. Her brother also has aspergers syndrome, which probably makes it easier for her to understand me. She isn't like the stereotypical bitchy female. Most of the time, we just watch tv series on DVD together or talk.

Kaybee, I love your description, that is exactly how stereotypically 'bitchy' women seem to me and the reason I tend to ignore/avoid women who are like this. That said I feel more comfortable with women in general because they lack the potential sexual issues that exist with men. Most of my friends (males and females) are geeky and those who are not are very open minded and accepting of differences. I wouldn't want to hang around anyone who wasn't.

I find that even most regular, not-especially-bitchy women are like this to some degree. Maybe it's only a little, even only negligibly so (to most), but it is still in there and is foreign and frightful to me. It sounds like you have found nice friends, though, and I'm glad for you. I personally find potential sexual tensions easier to deal with--they can (often) be dispelled or overcome.

As a little girl, all my friends were boys. Part of this had to do with the fact that I was the only girl in the neighborhood, but mostly I just liked boys better. There were girls at my school, but I had a group of four boys who were my best friends. (In my kindergarten class photo, I'm in the back row next to my very best friend Michael, and if you look closely you can see he and I are holding hands.) When I started first grade, I changed schools, and my mother introduced me to a couple of girls before the school year started; at this point, I started having almost exclusively girls for friends, although my role wasmore "masculine." When the boys would try to freak out the girls by shoving worms in their face (for example), I would put a stop to it by grabbing the boy's arm and spinning around until he was sdizzy and letting go so he'd fall down. I was smaller but stronger than most of my classmates; my little clique of girls called me their bodyguard!

In third grade, my family moved and I changed schools again. My parents enrolled me in an all-girls's school, so perforce most of my friends were girls. I did hang out with a co-ed group in high school, but saw the girls daily in school; not so with the boys. I went on to attend an all-women Seven Sisters school, so once again, my friends were women. I made some friends immediately, but soon noticed I had trouble with that group. My second semester, they seemed to cut me out entirely. One woman apologized to me for their behavior, but by that time it had been years since I was one to hang around where I wasn't wanted. I made some new friends. My second year of college, I began LARPing (which I know makes me the nerdiest of the nerds; I don't care. It's fun). The chapter I joined was mostly male. Now, I'm sure some of the friendly overtures had to do with how I looked; it's just a fact that most LARPers are nerds who have faced rejection from the opposite sex. I was cute, single, and obviously shared a somewhat usnusal interest. I made a lot of male friends quickly -- I'm still in touch with some of them to this day!

However, after that I found that most of my friends were male, even if I was still closer to my female friends. Since graduation, though, that has changed. I find I'm more relaxed, and therefore less awkward, around guys. I've found that a lot of women perceive me as very masculine -- I'm outspoken and opinionated and almost always willing to share my thoughts. A lot of women find this very shocking for some reason. I don't see these as bad qualities -- why shouldn't I raise my hand in class and give my opinion; I'm just as smart as the boys! -- and it's made me kind of an outcast outside of the East Coast. Guys don't seem as offended by my outspokenness as women. I've found men to be overall less judgemental, and more likely to share my interests.

One of my best friends since I was 14 is a guy; he was a bridesman in my wedding. I do have one good female friend these days, which is nice. Sometimes there are things in my life I just want to talk to another girl about! She's the first real female friend I've had since I graduated from college. I was always friendly with my male friends' gfs, but never really close. Still, the majority of my friends are male and I'm fine with that!

More of my friends are guys than girls. I do have friends who are girls although I find I often get on better with them on 1:1 or in mixed gender situations. In a group of girls I end up feeling a bit *other*... it's hard to explain... I don't think it's anything they're doing, I just feel like I don't quite fit in like everyone else does.

It is astounding to me how stuff like this gets passed off as inherent truth.

This has been one of the funniest things to me over the past few years.

Through high school and into college, I did fairly well at keeping about two female friends at any given time. However, as they began to get serious boyfriends, get engaged, get married, and have children, the gap between us began to grow. Since I actually enjoy being single, it has been very difficult to connect with women who seem to feel that being married and having children is the very purpose of their existence. Since everything in their lives tends to revolve around this goal, I have often found myself very much on the outside when attempting to relate to them.

The other problem I have is that, much like everyone else seems to be stating, I HATE to shop. I don't mind trying on clothes occasionally, but I do not like to make it a marathon session. I am very goal oriented when I shop. I know what I am there for and I want to pick out a couple of things, try them, and get out (that being the ultimate goal)! I do not want to bond while you try on a thousand outfits, ask my opinion, and then tell me you can't decide which one you want.

I much prefer the company of men, especially since with men, you almost always know where you stand, male drama queens and divas are somewhat rare, and good men usually won't to sell you out.

When I was younger, most of my friends were male, but I'd say it's about 50-50 now. I think my female friendships are stronger, though. I enjoy the company of men, but I don't expect them to empathize with me as well as women. However, I'm more comfortable with the sexual aspect ... I don't actively try to push it into the background like I used to. My attitude now is ... it is what it is.

I'm generally not interested in empathy in the sense I gather that most women are, meaning, it seems to me that most women like to talk about their problems and sit around and have everyone agree that they are horrible problems and express how they feel about them or validate each others feelings without much in the way of trying to find solutions to the problem. In other words, they don't seem to care to solve the problem, they just want to talk about it.

If I present a problem to someone, I generally do so because I am soliciting a solution, I perceive the knowledge is pertinent to them in some way, or I am trying to gather information on a subject....I'm quite big on statistical data samples.

Oh, I so empathize with that!

I find that i can talk to and relate to women as of the last few years mostly because of learning from past experiences in social situations. i try to pick up on what kind of things i say that micht get those pauses, or giggles, "mutual glances behind my back," and make a note not to say those things or bring up those topics. i can get along with most females, but dont really get as far as friendships because i don't like talking on the phone. when women actually want to include me in their plans i am actually surprised because i've learned not to expect to completely fit in. i'm just glad if i'm tolerated and don't say anything to warrant the mutual glances or condescension.
i have 3 girls that i would actually call "friends" but even those are somewhat strained at times. but, it is what it is unfortunately.

as far as making friends with guys, a lot of guys only pose as friends because their sexually attracted to me, and since most of the time the feeling isn't mutual, i end up not talking to them much either.