How well do you pass?

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Same here. I think I usually pass pretty well in the absence of extra stress, but keeping up the act is exhausting. I need a lot of sleep and don't get out much socially. I get home from work and all I want to do is eat dinner and go to bed. Everyone at work thinks I'm so sweet and friendly, but I'm really snarky and opinionated and like to crack inappropriate jokes with my older male best friend. I feel bad about it and wish I could act more like myself, but when I was younger I got in so much trouble for saying what was really on my mind. I worry I'd lose my job. I am really really lucky to have finally found a job that I'm good at with a manager who is willing to put up with my quirks and give me reasonable accommodations even though I don't have an official diagnosis yet.

I really believed I had mastered passing as NT until I decided to ask my friends how I appear from the outside (I suggest you do the same! may be revealing). Then they said everyone thinks I am weird, that I stare at people (could bet I learned how to make approprioate eye contact...), that I space out even during conversations and so on and so on (I made a post about it so I am not going to repeat.)
Guess what, maybe you think you pass as NT but you don't. And that's how clueless you are!
But anyway, I don't think I look autistic (for the untrained eye), just weird (I am constantly called weird by friends in a good manner), socially awkward, and "funny".
In small doses I can socialize pretty well though, in two kinds of situations: 1- just smile and nod (actually when I was younger I had a nickname "smiley", but usually works well because people want to feel important and interesting); 2- the person I am talking to fits in one of the categories I made so I can antecipate their pattern and have a good talk (until I make some faux-pas, that is. hopefully it's not going to be a big one). It tires me a hell lot anyway. Usually after 20 minutes or so I am desperately needing to be left alone.

I pass the majority of the time.
In the last couple of years I have started to enjoy going out, clubbing, I'm happy to dance and sing in public and I work with kids. I wear make up and try to look nice. I also have a couple of tattoos. I think all of those things go against stereotypes people have of women with aspergers.

People just assume very shy, possible anxious and maybe a bit weird. I think I should tell more people because a lot of folks keep saying stupid things about aspergers in front of me, and I should probably be open and informative.

I think I look spacey, maybe a bit odd, depressed and anxious. People used to ask me if I'm okay all the time, but I'm getting better. No one thinks I'm autistic, but I don't think I look completely fine or okay. I think I look normal on good days, but I rarely have good days. Most of the time I assume I look weird and that makes me depressed. I'm usually pretty aware of what is making me look odd. It's just that I don't have enough energy to stop those behaviors. When I do get enough energy I usually stop those behaviors. I think my spacey looking face makes people think I'm not aware of those behaviors.

I don't. I used to put a lot of effort into trying to, but that just caused me more stress than anything else. People can tell there's something 'off' about me just by looking at me because of my appearance and how I carry myself. I don't think their immediate thought is that I'm autistic, just that I'm kinda odd.

Only other aspies think I'm NT. The real NT's know almost immediately that I am NOT like them.

I pass for a court jester, a nutcase, an eccentric.

Autism is a vague label in the circles in which I tend to frequent (i.e., work). It is associated with people like Rain Man, and others with "savant" abilities. There is also the vague notion that some people with autism are severely disabled by it. There is also vague notion that there is an "autism epidemic," and that it might be caused by vaccines.

Aspergers?--All they know is Adam Lanza. They feel there is a section of the population who stay home and play video games, and are alienated from society (hence, they might plan a school shooting or something).

I wouldn't mention that I am Autistic/Aspergers, unless I want to be ostracized.

I try really hard. I often pretty much do pass, unless someone brings up one of my fixations... Full blown Aspie in thespace of 5 seconds.

Better as I am older than when I was a kid. Actually I only figured it all out as I was getting my children diagnosed, I thought I was just weird. During the diagnosis the psych was saying a lot of girls aren't diagnosed due to being avid readers, he has found that girls can use the characters and plots in books as a kind of instruction manual as to how to "be normal". I thought this was very interesting.

According to my counselor I am good at conversation, eye contact, etc. But only sometimes am I good at these things. Other times I am unsure of what to say and just end up looking away and hoping they will either move away or say something to keep the conversation going.

Sometimes I say things that I am aware sound odd or unusual, usually in an attempt to clarify something I am upset about. I know I shouldn't say those things if I want to come across as normal, but my anxiety and need to express my feelings get the better of me.

I have no idea how I am perceived by others, though. I may be doing some overtly odd thing and be unaware of it.

I don't have any problems with eye contact or social cues. But the one word used to describe me over and over is 'odd'. I guess thats the word when people can't put their finger on why they just don't like you. They can't explain it but they know something is missing. I have to be specifically concentrating for NTing and frequently I do zone out and am completely unaware of someone speaking to me or using my name. I never pass for NT I think, no unless I just happen to be walking past in a rare moment of lucidity. But neither do I necessarily fit the classic picture of autism. I am just an oddity that no-one really warms to.

Yes, this is all my experience, too. I tense up when I talk to people but have learned to make my face very expressive and to add little chuckles (sometimes even appropriately) and looking with slightly unfocused eyes at their nose from time to time. It's a little dance I do to be charming and make people like me. What I really want to do is 1) run away; or barring that 2) not make eye contact and speak in a monotone, answering quickly on factual points.

But I've got my little dance down, and sometimes I even enjoy it now. Am I putting on a show that masks who I am or am I practicing normal social skills? Sometimes I wonder if it's not autism, just hyper-awareness of the social masks. Or is that the same thing? (Not to be relativistic -- I really wonder.)

The more stressed I am, the more disjointed and "off" this little dance becomes, though. And the more I need stimming tools -- usually I add an enamel bracelet I can fiddle with. But even that draws their attention if I'm not careful.

Someone who knows my secret (I'm a super depressed aspie pretending to be an NT in an office) said I look a lot better (than when I was driven to suicidal thoughts by a cruel supervisor a few months ago). I told him I am not really better, I am just better enough to be able to mask it more convincingly. I still fight off the dark thoughts several times a day. I had a similar conversation with my therapist, after I decided it was counterproductive to show my real self to him (for reasons not related to this subject but which I have discussed openly with him).

So, I can act, yes. But I hate myself for it most of the time and feel like I'm consciously manipulating people and being dishonest. I think most NTs do this kind of stuff automatically and feel good about it.

The weird thing is that sometimes I feel different, and all this gets easier and I feel OK looking at people's eyes and totally fine talking to them without having to do my little show. I mean -- it's like I become an NT for a few hours or even days. And then it goes away. This happened just recently -- for two days. How and why I don't know. I wish I did. I also felt like my thinking was less disjointed, too -- more capable, sort of. It didn't seem to happen because of anything in my life -- it was just a sudden feeling that came one moment while I was sitting alone and went away a few days later while I was sitting alone. It does pop up one or twice a year, I guess. I'd love to figure out what was going on -- it feels like a hormone being released or something.

Because I have no trouble with getting jokes and being able to ''feel'' other's emotions and recognising non-verbal social things like body language, tone of voice and facial expressions, I can feel quite relaxed in that way around people because I know I'm unlikely to misinterpret a joke or sarcasm or whatever. And I can pass off as NT through body language too, like I don't stim and I don't have an unusual gait or monotone voice or stuff like that, and I don't display nervous movements like wringing my hands, and other stuff like that.

But I still cannot pass off as 100% NT, if you know what I mean. I don't appear Aspie, but to other people I still appear eccentric. I am shy, but at the same time I can be hyper. This often confuses people, and they view me as eccentric. There are just little ways about me what can be quite odd, like in my personality and beliefs. Although I can recognise body language and all of that, I sometimes don't always pay attention when in a group, which seems to annoy people.

I have learnt that it's best people to know that I have some disorder. It doesn't have to be AS, because most people are surprised when they hear I have that. But saying something like ADHD seems to make people accept me more, and also understand me more, as if they aren't surprised when I tell them I have ADHD. I tried it recently, and it has worked. So I will leave it at that.

I had an evaluation at the start of 2013 where the woman said that she was going with my childhood diagnosis based on my history.

I don't really know if I "pass". I know I don't communicate quite how I want to and sometimes seem to leave people wanting, but I'm happy that other students at school will sit down and talk to me in the campus cafe. That's enough of a comfort level for me even if I seem quiet or eccentric. I have no idea what it's like to "feel" the emotions of others, but I do get an impression of what I think is going on with someone.

I don't know how well I "pass."

I do think most people would not suspect AS. Instead, I imagine they think I am just aloof or antisocial. Truly, I do not know what people think of me - they do not tell me. All I know is that the far majority of my relationships with people do not extend past small talk when I see them in person.

I had a piano student (adult) recommend me to a friend who was thinking of getting her sons lessons. My student said to me, "I told her only good things." The way she said it made me think she was holding back some negative things (or things that were "weird" about me) that she didn't pass along. But, either way, she recommended this other woman meet me. Nothing came of the meeting, but that may have been due to the boys' disinterest as well as anything I did or didn't do.

I was working on a show for kids, and the director said to all the kids, "She's really nice - she just doesn't smile." I appreciate that he said that - reassuring them that I *really am* nice even though I am maybe not the most welcoming.

But does that make people think "autistic"? I don't think so. I think these things just make me look like a jerk. Sometimes I wish I was a little more off so that it would be apparent I had an issue outside of my control rather than just a bad personality.

I don't think "jerk" is the proper word.

I would think that most people think you're "reserved" or "shy," or someone who is "into her work."

A "jerk" would be somebody who is actively bitchy.