Female Autism

Post Reply New Topic

I just love hearing aspie females tell me what I'm really like. I must be male then!

I was so unimpressed with her over generalizations that I gave it a thumbs down. Interesting that the comment section was deactivated for that video but not for her other videos that I zoomed through!

I have had special interests and obsessions since childhood. Wearing masks/ different personalities is something I have only heard of after I found out about ASDs. I never wear a mask. If I don't show my personality, then I'm just there, quiet, a blank, downplaying myself but not pretending to be other than what I am, that is how I usually was in school etc. If I interacted, it was always one of the two. I have never felt any need to fit in, be social, or waste time on what other people tried to push me into. I always have a better time on my own occupied with interesting things.

I am still female my way, and I do not appreciate my autism being called male or be told females aren't like that.

Every time this topic comes up, it's clear from the posts people make that both males and females fall into both categories of 'male' and 'female' autism.

Even though I do love invisible i's YouTube channel, this video I like, but don't really relate to because I have never tried to "mask" my autism. Sometimes I copy other people's mannerisms/body language and stuff, but that is because I like that particular person, not because I want to hide my social skills difficulties. I don't even know how I would "mask" my symptoms. I'm kind of like one of those quiet, passive aspies in real life, and I don't think I could ever change that. I have also never felt any need to fit in, and I don't do things just because my peers do them.

As for the special interest part of it, it doesn't make sense to me why females wouldn't have them. Sure, I believe there are autistic people out there who don't have special interests, but saying that most females don't have special interests has no evidence to support it, except for maybe personal experience with other female aspies who don't have special interests (which would be confirmation bias anyway!). I have always had special interests, even if there are some periods of time in between each one where I don't really have one.

I don't think there are two categories of autism ("male" and "female"). I think that anyone can have autism, and it is expressed in a different way depending on each person's personality. This video was interesting, but it was stereotypical and it made it seem like all female autistics are the same, and the same for male autistics. The truth is, nobody with autism is the same.

Those that can effectively pass for normal are not relatable to those of us without Asperger's. Big difference. All the attempts at masking have gained abysmal results for many of us.

Asperger's is still easier to hide if it is mild. Not wanting to discount your problems. I'm just saying they are different from those of us who can't effectively mask.

☺

I wasn’t able to “mask” it as a young child. It was evident that I had classic autism.

Later on in my childhood and into my adulthood, my autism took on a more “Aspergian” presentation. It was, and still is evident there is “something wrong with me”—but people can’t quite place it; to them, I’m in some general category of “weird,” “odd,” “eccentric,” etc, in both a positive and negative sense.

I’ve gotten better at “normal” discourse over the years—though not in groups of people.

To be quite honest, I feel better about myself that I can relate to people better than previously. I also believe I can use the skills I have gained to assist other people in relating to other people (without sacrificing their uniqueness, ideally).

It really took quite a long time--but I've gotten to the point where I believe most people believe I'm a viable person. This wasn't the case previously. Previously, either felt scorn for me, or felt like they had to "help" me. Both situations were a thorn in my side.

I don't believe "normal people" actively dislike autistic people---they just don't know too much about them. There is the tendency to believe that the social struggles of "high-functioning" autistic people are the product of these people "not trying hard enough." Or else they are excluded because they are not "useful" in some way--they don't satisfy the "social instincts" of the "normal people."

"Autism" doesn't enter into the minds of these "normal" people; to them, an autistic person is the old-fashioned notion of them as being nonverbal and in their "own little world." They can't see them being amongst their job milieu. They are seen as people who are "disabled," and who live in group homes and sometimes have "sheltered" employment.

Truly, I don't believe autism implies an "incapability" all the time. Just like people with Asperger's are not necessarily "incapable" of reading social cues.

Rather, a person with Asperger's could either exhibit a "difference" in reading cues, or perhaps an impaired ability--but an ability, nevertheless. Same with empathy. I doubt it that most autistic people lack empathy; rather, there is a difference in how they convey it.

I believe you are a capable person who might have some "differences" which make others who don't have the requisite knowledge think you're "incapable."

I believe there are many times when one should look at the work produced, rather than the "social abilities" of the person doing the work. I have seen people with considerable "social ability" produce shoddy work. They are not let go from their jobs because of their social connections, rather than their ability in the job.

This even applies to sales work. I believe one could be autistic and still ring up sales, because the autistic person knows about the product, and can convey to the client an honest impression of the product--especially if the product is actually good. There are many people, truly, who dislike a "sales pitch," and really like it when a product is honestly portrayed by the salesperson.

NT's may not know about autism per se but they pick up quickly that we're different and kick our a$$e's to the curb. People are cruel. That's reality. NTs pick at other NTs as well that have lesser status.

All that is true-----but we must combat all this crap with smarts.

Trust me: I've had people try to "kick my ass to the curb" numbers of times. If that happened, I'd get right back up and just continue, thinking of smart ways to avoid being "kicked to the curb" in the future.