What kinds of men show interest in you?
Shatbat
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Uh wha what? Why was I summoned here? What am I supposed to know the answer to? Ask away :lol I'll answer next wifi I can find
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To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. - Winston Churchill
Ever thought that the men may not be able to do that because of the social setting that they are in at that immediate point in time? Especially if other people are there/may be listening.
They are perfectly capable of texting me, sending me a message on facebook, arranging to speak to me in private, etc. I'm talking about guys that literally say nothing to the effect of "I think you're cute" or "I really like you" or even readable flirting.
I'm a magnet for guys who think I'm a psychic... so I could... maybe turn this into a lucrative career opportunity. *schemes*
Admittedly, I don't hang out with many guys anymore for this reason. Plus, the older I get, the older my group of friends is, the less bubbly/naive/young I am, the less guys do this... I hope it's an age thing and by the time I'm thirty any guys will just lose interest in me entirely.
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Kjas
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You were summoned to explain to Spiderpig the following:
I thought it was implied that the latter is out of the question.
In fact, I have trouble discerning which things are more out of the question than others.
You need to explain when kissing someone without talking about it first is appropriate, and how it is done. (admittedly, most women won't get too mad at you if do it right)
And if there is ever a point to saying "I like you", or not.
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Shatbat
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Age: 33
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Location: Where two great rivers meet
On kissing someone without their permission, well, I've noticed it works when it is part of a progression of increased physical contact with the other person; if I've been on a date where I haven't as much as put my arm around her then trying to kiss her would be a terrible idea, while if she is close to me, like sitting on my lap with faces close together then it just feels like the natural (and in some cases, expected) thing to do. I've only done that properly twice though, and one was while dancing where having a great time doesn't necessarily mean I can kiss her, although it makes it more likely. In the second case I'd still ask first though, maybe not directly but by being blatantly flirty and gauging her reaction.
And I still don't see what good can come from telling someone I like her
. Unless I can't deal with it anymore and need closure, if I do it with the expectation of being reciprocated I am doing it wrong, as it is likely there is no chemistry, or it would have worked out more naturally.
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To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. - Winston Churchill
GoodSenseAmelia
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Joined: 12 Jul 2015
Age: 37
Gender: Female
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Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming
I seem to attract quite a few child molesters. Then I open my mouth and they hear me talk and they're like, oh, you're not fifteen...
But if not them, then some other kind of user. My mom was an alcoholic and I was trained to be a victim growing up. So after all the work I've don't on myself, I've been mostly single because I simply don't enjoy that kind of nonsense.
I also get dudes that think I'm a stupid piece of arm candy because I'm short, blonde, young looking, etc. I'm like, don't judge a book or you will be very unhappy when I mentally emasculate you. I think most of the boyfriends I've had eventually just got too insecure not being the smart one in the relationship. Personally, I wish it wasn't a big deal who was smarter.
xxZeromancerlovexx
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The ones that I have nothing in common with. Or very little in common with.
If a guy is physically attracted to me that's fine, but I like conversations about music, video games, movies and literature. Saying "cool" or "okay" after every word I say gets annoying.
Examples:
Me: Have you read the High School of the Dead manga?
Guy: I did and it was a little lacking, but still a great plot. Have you read Fullmetal Alchemist?
That's what I like in a conversation, not this:
Guy: Hi what's up?
Me: Not much. Just sitting around and playing Final Fantasy Tactics.
Guy: Cool.
Me: It's one of my favorite Final Fantasy games.
Guy: Cool.
Me: Well...nice talking to you. The cats Need food. Bye.
Guy: Cool.
That's why I feel like a total ice queen of a person. ![]()
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“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre
None nowadays, as I'm a middle-aged mom who exclusively wears baggy hoodies.
That's okay, I'm happily married, anyway. When I was younger I attracted nerdy guys and lesbians in equal quantities. My ASD fondness for comfortable clothes and little makeup or jewelry is sometimes mistaken for "butch", I think.
Good luck with that. I hoped for the same thing, and it has not happened yet. As long as you are kind and reasonably friendly to people, there will be some who will find you interesting in ways you cannot or do not reciprocate. It's tough, but it's life.
All kinds. I get the usual old creeps. I also get interest from guys that aren't familiar with Canadian culture. I also get attention from special needs guys in foster homes or regular geeks and nerds. On the positive side I get attention from guys with long hair who play guitar.
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
I am NT, a tomboy, and into comfortable clothes -- and currently, like you, a middle-aged woman attired in baggy t-shirts and sweatpants. I abhor make-up and jewelry, too, (and always have), but never attracted any lesbians.
Actually, I don't think I've attracted any males (merely by my appearance), either. Not the kind of face to launch even one ship, see !
The guys I usually attracted were almost always long-term friends or co-workers -- which was kinda creepy, because any guy I befriended has always been more like a brother to me and co-workers were always off limits (unless you are looking to get fired).
Yep, unlucky in the romance department, unfortunately. But that's OK ... married with kids now, so all's well that ends well.
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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".
-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116
The_Face_of_Boo
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^^ I don't believe anyone would get fired from dating or attempting to date a coworker (as long no harassment is involved, and as long you are not attempting to date the CEO), some stats/surveys shows that around 40-50% of relationships start at the workplace, I personally know many marriages started like this.
I dunno where this myth comes from.
I am NT, a tomboy, and into comfortable clothes -- and currently, like you, a middle-aged woman attired in baggy t-shirts and sweatpants. I abhor make-up and jewelry, too, (and always have), but never attracted any lesbians.
Actually, I don't think I've attracted any males (merely by my appearance), either. Not the kind of face to launch even one ship, see !
The guys I usually attracted were almost always long-term friends or co-workers -- which was kinda creepy, because any guy I befriended has always been more like a brother to me and co-workers were always off limits (unless you are looking to get fired).
Yep, unlucky in the romance department, unfortunately. But that's OK ... married with kids now, so all's well that ends well.
Perhaps it's less clothing than Aspie body language.
I still attract women on occasion, and I think even my own parents assumed I was lesbian growing up.
There doesn't seem to be a "type" of guy that shows interest in me. There is more diversity than sameness. The ages vary from mid-thirties to 70 and even 80 years, with some outliers that appear to be in their twenties. There is an odd preponderence of younger men, which is new, unexpected, and puzzling.
The most recent was a Hispanic man, 35 years of age, who happened to be walking his dog while on his lunch break. I had been wandering in a golf course near the restaurant where he works, and he approached me and started a conversation. He was a nice guy and a decent conversationalist, although he appeared to be somewhat nonplussed when I told him my age (51). However, as I'm currently not looking for a romantic or sexual relationship, I had to politely turn down his offer of a ride home, his request that I give him my phone number, etc.
The only commonality seems to be that (from my point of view), these people appear out of nowhere and their pitch often comes as somewhat of a surprise. That, and the fact that the conversations I have with these people can be unusually long for someone who is going to eventually have to deliver a rejection. This may be related to a lifelong inability to truly grasp the concept of 'small talk'. In my world, if you're commenting on the weather, you probably also like to talk about climate patterns, ecological issues, weather stations, the awesomeness of thunderstorms, etc.
I am fairly sure that I am of no better than average attractiveness, so it isn't clear to me why this is happening as often as it is, or why the proportion of younger and somewhat attractive men approaching me is relatively high compared to what I'd expect. Although I suspect that this phenomenon may be due to a societal trend, or fad, I haven't figured out what that might be. My ex has suggested that it could be related to the fact that I am friendly to people who are used to being given the cold shoulder by most women, and he could have a point, although I don't know why attractive 30 ish men would be used to being snubbed or ignored.

