Being an itroverted, thinking woman.

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Joined: 13 May 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 955

11 Jun 2010, 7:58 am

I'm currently obsessed with Myers Briggs typology and as an INTP or ISTP (I've decided I'm somewhere in between) I feel like I'm always misunderstood by people, men especially. They think that I MUST have something on my mind because I'm quiet AND because I'm a woman, and that I'm playing some kind of game with them. My ex always thought I was mad at him and would act like I was being difficult when I truly wasn't trying to be, so I had to act more extroverted just to get him to believe that I wasn't which was OK for awhile, but it's not something I like to do all the time.

We broke up anyway, because he was a jerk, but I still have this problem. People refuse to believe that women who don't say much aren't pissed off at the world.

LOL, anyone else have this problem?

TiredGeek
Snowy Owl

Joined: 21 Jun 2009
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 146

11 Jun 2010, 8:12 am

Yeah, all the time, and its self-fulfilling. Get asked enough times "what's wrong" or "why are you mad" and I will be pissed off at the world!

psychointegrator
Blue Jay

Joined: 8 Oct 2009
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 88

11 Jun 2010, 8:44 am

MotownDangerPants wrote:

Am I misunderstanding what I read? Are you saying you have nothing on your mind a lot? Perhaps its what I take to mean by something on your mind.
Is it more that you have nothing on your mind and you instead are experiencing some emotion instead?

That is not the mentality I have encountered from males on the west coast or females experiencing your strange male issues.

I've always found those tests and results to be a more complex version weekly horoscope scope reading.

Here's a quote that I found for you on http://www.horoscope.com/
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
-James Baldwin

MotownDangerPants
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 May 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 955

11 Jun 2010, 8:47 am

psychointegrator wrote:

MotownDangerPants wrote:

Nothing important. I could be thinking about cereal or something, LOL. Just things that aren't important or fascinating but men think because I'm a woman I'm being quiet because I'm mad about something, even NT men and introverts, though not as much.

I also probably miss some social cues without even realizing it, I'm not always great with formalities but I would expect men to understand this better than women. They don't undertsand it coming from me because I'm not one of them.

websister
Snowy Owl

Joined: 3 Jun 2010
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 165
Location: Canada

12 Jun 2010, 10:36 pm

I haven't been accused of appearing mad, but I have been called "Mona Lisa" by a few men because of being quiet and introverted. They said I looked like I was keeping a secret.

clumsybee
Deinonychus

Joined: 22 May 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 398
Location: Syracuse, NY

13 Jun 2010, 4:32 pm

Yes, I get this problem quite often. Everybody misunderstands my actions, particularly those that don't know me, and assumes I'm an antisocial sociopath according to one of my former teachers. But I have other problems to deal with than what idiots think of me...

tweety_fan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Oct 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,555

14 Jun 2010, 12:12 am

people have gotten the impression that I am upset because I don't talk much.

bookwyrm
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: away with the rabbits

16 Jun 2010, 7:32 am

I'm an INTJ and I think I make people feel inadequete especially after a while when there is a shared interest and it becomes clear I know more about it than they do. Before that point I don't know what they think. All I know is that men steer well clear, thank goodness:) Been there done that, don't want a repeat.

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Being an itroverted, thinking woman.