Meeting New Men - A Special Interest

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Something that I had struggled with in the past was having a guy as a special interest. It went on longer than it should have, I admit.

One thing I always thought about was when we first met; He was kind to everyone, sweet, and being around him just made me happy. I really got to trust him, which says a lot, because I don’t trust very easily.

The thing that I've realized now, though, is that the guy in my head just isn’t the same guy in reality. He’s not anymore, at least. As much as I dislike change, I have to acknowledge that the change has taken place.

I’ve made mistakes. He and I are different, however, because I would never hurt someone intentionally. He’s made it obvious that that was his goal. He went out of his way to try to hurt me.
So clearly, the guy that I met in the beginning just is not the same guy anymore. It was a tough realization, because I wanted things to work out, but it can only go on for so long.

That’s the reason I’ve been putting myself out there more. I know there are guys that have those same qualities that I was attracted to in the first place. And no matter what it ends up being, I think that it’s worth it to give some new men a chance.
Large social gatherings aren't easy. But I actually like getting to know new, different guys, and seeing them one on one. I think that because psychology is one of my special interests, I don’t mind listening to what people have to say. I was surprised that just getting to know new men could turn into a special interest. It’s a lot different than what I've experienced in the past, but really fun and interesting.
I've also discovered that I don't necessarily like being tied down with a commitment. I like having time to myself, and planning any dates around that time. Its not that I don't enjoy spending time with the person, but some relationships can be suffocating. Getting to know different people can be great for someone who's had a bad experience in the past.

To any women, or even men, that have had a person or relationship as a special interest and it ended badly, know that you have every right to happiness. As much as you care about the person you've connected with, you have to think of yourself too. You should be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, and truly deserves to have you.

does this mean you've become NT?

It means that the person is not who I thought they were. A lot of time has passed. And they have changed, so I'm acknowledging it.
And I want other people that have gone through something similar to not be hard on themselves, and be able to experience new things without feeling pressured before they're ready. People have to deal with things in their own way, but feeling bad about yourself just doesn't help anything.

Hi missueannabelle

I found your post very interesting.

I have HFA and also have an interest in psychology.

My special interest is advaita and contemplative practice. It used to be women.

I work as a counsellor and also I am a trained teacher of the Alexander Technique.

The human condition has always fascinated me.

One of the greatest ironies in my life has been women professing their love for me, only to know that they have been in love with the fantasy of me and not the reality of me. .........it still happens today and it's never very complementary, in fact it can be a very lonely experience.

Well done for waking up and seeing this pattern.

Q

Hi missueannabelle

I found your post very interesting.

I have HFA and also have an interest in psychology.

My special interest is advaita and contemplative practice. It used to be women.

I work as a counsellor and also I am a trained teacher of the Alexander Technique.

The human condition has always fascinated me.

One of the greatest ironies in my life has been women professing their love for me, only to know that they have been in love with the fantasy of me and not the reality of me. .........it still happens today and it's never very complementary, in fact it can be a very lonely experience.

Well done for waking up and seeing this pattern.

Q