Is AS nothing more than low self esteem?

Post Reply New Topic

If you have symptoms unrelated to social relationships, how does your therapist explain them? My therapist can't explain why I can't do some simple physical actions that everyone else can, why I forget faces, why my siblings knew from birth it's all a matter of lying convincingly and I discovered politics and the pecking order only at age 45, etc.

Be careful. Be skeptical. Do question things and observe if what they claim makes sense. Continue on WP as a double-check on reality. And most of all: do not ever pay a therapist money that you need for higher studies or building yourself up. I and many aspies regret nowadays all the money on therapy. Just like some people spent their life savings on therapies that promised them they'd stop being homosexual. I wish someone had told me this 25 years ago when I still had time.

And "self-esteem" is to psychotherapists as "virus" is to doctors - their explanation when they don't have an explanation.

Your theory may feel true after a while, but the truth of the matter is there are reasons for low self-esteem. People aren't just born without self-esteem, or lose it all in the blink of an eye. It's chipped away by repeated negative reinforcement & rejection over time because of something else that's truly the root of their problem. Of course having low self-esteem does contribute to the vicious cycle of not improving any, but something else has to get you that low in the first place.

AS is definately considered a "root cause" of low self-esteem. I've had many surges of confidence in my lifetime where I just go out, have fun, & feel great about it. However, without any positive reinforcement to keep it up, it eventually fades.

Cognitive therapy can help you control the forces within you and teach you to understand the triggers that cause meltdowns, build relationships etc. But you are aspie and will remain aspie.

I think you need a psychologist who understands aspergers.

This is the Arc ( Autism Research Centre )

Asperger Syndrome (AS), a subgroup conceptualised as part of the autistic spectrum, shares the features of autism but without the associated learning difficulties (normal or even above average IQ) and without any language delay.

Are AS (Asperger Syndrome) or HFA (High Functioning Autism) disabilities?

Both can be thought of as a personality style in which the individual does not ‘tune in’ naturally to people and is more attracted by objects, systems, and how things work
Both involve strengths in attention to detail, and can be associated with talent in areas such as mathematics, science, fact-collecting or rule-based subjects
Both are disabilities only in environments where the individual is expected to be both sociable and a good communicator

What is the difference between AS and HFA?

Both share:

Abnormalities in social development
Abnormalities in communicative development
The presence of unusual and strong, narrow repetitive behaviours (sometimes called obsessions)
Average or above average intelligence (IQ)

But in HFA there is language delay; in AS there is not.

People with AS do generally have low self esteem, but that's because they're different. Blind people, deaf people, physically handicapped people, and other different people generally have low self esteem too. Doesn't mean they're blind/deaf/handicapped/whatever because of that, rather the converse is true.

yep, that about sums up what I was thinking...

I grew up long before AS was "invented", so lived 63 years with low self-esteem. However, I've had the very good fortune 37 years ago to find a solid family and spiritual support group, one of whose slogans is about self esteem "Self Respect is the Way to the Life of Truth, Knowledge, Power and Love", and once I discovered I was an "aspie", my self esteem shot right up.

my self esteem has taken some huge knocks over the years but is generally okay.

like greentea says - i went for counselling and the counsellor insited that i simply suffer from low self esteem. she was a very poor listener however and had a tendancy to make stuff up about me - so the relationship had to end.

Well, I'm an extrovert and I have very high self-esteem, but I still have AS.

So I'd say nope.

Perhaps if you let the symptoms get you down or listen to bullies then it might cause low self-esteem as a secondary thing, but there's no correlation at all.

I'd be really wary of your psychologist. Unless they want to lobotomise you they might help you feel better but it ain't gonna cure it, sorry to disappoint. Might as well just smile and be happy you don't have something far worse. There's a lot worse things than AS; I see it as a blessing!

My self-confidence took a beating for a while because of bullying, but I had things that kept me going as well. I have a good family, plenty of interests and the love of my pets. I credit one special cat, Samantha, for saving my life. My current pets all enhance my life.

I know what you mean, they won't leave your side when everyone else will. And they don't talk much

*looks at snoring dog whose bath is long overdue sleeping on the floor*

Low self-esteem is a symptom, and (repeating a bunch of others with this statement) not the cause.

AS is predominantly a social dysfunction - we don't relate to others the way they expect us to. This leads, when we are young, to bullying and exclusion. When we are older, it results in scapegoating and political indictment, oh, and exclusion again.

Which leads to low self-esteem.

Therapy, and more specifically CBT, can certainly help lessen the impact of self-esteem issues. Anything that helps you function more effectively in the NT world is going to make you feel better, and I think that is worthwhile. But there is no "cure" for AS. If you were to suddenly discover that your problems were entirely related to low self-esteem, then I would posit that AS was never a factor to begin with (I will acknowledge that extremely low self-esteem might appear at a glance to be AS-like).

Personally, my self-esteem fluctuates wildly - if I solve a particularly heinous problem at work I'm "king of the world", but if I mess up a social situation I'm "king of the stinking-pile-of-feces-that-is-my-life".

Bottom line - if it makes you feel better then there's nothing wrong with it (though be leery of any solution that costs $$$). But if you're AS and you think it's gonna "cure" you then you're just riding the positive-feeling wave. At the end of the day you're still gonna be you, and no amount of Tony Robbins "I am special" stuff is going to change that in the long term.

Nick

Gotta agree with IronicChef. My son has excellent self esteem. He has not thus far been exposed to judgement from adults or other children, so he hasn't learned to believe he is in any way deficient.

However, he definitely has AS, with pretty typical expressions.

Definitely not self esteem. I think that setbacks (particularly social ones) can be caused by aspergers, and this can lead to low self esteem but not the other way around.

Of course, low self esteem can lead introverts to be even more introverted but again, introversion and aspies aren't necessarily entwined.

Anyone know of an extroverted aspie?

Funny - in my pre-diagnosis days I used to say that I flip between introverted and extroverted depending upon my mood and the people I was with. I wore extroverted clothing which drew attention to myself (seriously coloured jumpers - I must have looked like a dag).

Yes, although he's only six. My son loves to be social, and at this point his desire outweighs his social awkwardness in friend-making abilities. He is also very creative, so his friends tend not to mind that he is creating and controlling the games they play. Oddly, none of them seem to mind when he tires of companionship and leaves off playing in the middle, either.

I'm really happy for my happy-go-lucky Aspie.

Yes. I have met 3 in the last 6 months through the AS channels here...