Aspies and feeling entitled.

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07 Jun 2010, 9:09 pm

Everyone seems to feel entitled to something. In America. everyone feels entitled. People just have different excuses for feeling that way, but, trust me, they all do. It's part of the human condition. It's the way we try to make things easier for ourselves. Some call it self confidence.

zen_mistress
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07 Jun 2010, 9:10 pm

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marshall
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07 Jun 2010, 10:52 pm

KoS wrote:

I don't think you guys are getting it here. I'm not against people with disabilities being accomodated for. I'm all for it. And that's the issue here. There are so many extended accomodations in place for her. Things that the other kids would never be allowed (though they'd probably very much like and benefit from). But because of this new found sense of entitlement there should be MORE! It's almost like she's expecting to be put on a pedestal.

It is not a human/society thing in this case because I have seen where this attitude has come from andhow it has developed.

Yes we give ramps to people in wheelchairs, but there's no person employed at the bottom of every wheelchair ramp to push them to the top, they do it themselves (when posibble!). My sister and these other kids not only want the ramps, they want to be pushed up them! And you guys think this is fine? The school and me and the parents and teachers of the other kids should just respond to every whim and desire? Because they're aspie? I just don't know about that.

Oh and btw, NTs don't feel entitled to eye contact, or mindless chit chat, it's just what we expect because the majority of people we have met perform these social tasts with ease. Expecting NTs to just SNAP INTO an "ok this is an Aspie I need to act like this and that and this..." is really another great example of Aspie entitlement. <sarcasm> OF COURSE, we NTs should have a complete understanding and perfect response to Aspies when we meet you, and we should know exactly what to expect and say....</sarcasm> I mean...COME ON!! ! We do our best, but you want more more more!

Maybe your sister IS being unreasonalbe here (though I don't really have enough information from you to judge her). The fact of the matter is, she will be in for a shock when she becomes an adult. People with mental disabilities ARE discriminated against in this society and it's not just aspies. It's just as bad for people with depression or bi-polar disorder. If you can't find steady employment due to your disabiltiy it's a struggle just to effing EXIST!

I guess we're just not entitled to exist? Right? They why don't you guys just let us kill ourselves? If people have a physical illness society has sympathy for them, but when it's a mental issue we're just told to "get with the program" as if nothing is wrong and we could just choose to "snap out of it". So much for empathy.

katzefrau
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07 Jun 2010, 11:16 pm

why do NTs feel entitled to post topics that can be interpreted as bullying people on the spectrum?

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hale_bopp
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08 Jun 2010, 12:24 am

Meeting half way.

NT should not change completely to accomodate aspies.
Aspies should not have to change completely to accomodate NT's.

Both ends of the stick here are at fault.

bee33
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08 Jun 2010, 1:11 am

katzefrau wrote:

why do NTs feel entitled to post topics that can be interpreted as bullying people on the spectrum?

Yes, thank you.

To the OP, you're having an issue with your sister. Generalizing her behavior to other people with AS is not relevant.

KoS
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08 Jun 2010, 4:03 am

1. Marshall, no offence but the second half of your post was so irrelevant and inane, I'm not going to bother replying to you properly.

2. She HAS been met halfway, more than halfway, that's the POINT! Why is it no enough? Why aren't these accomodations enough?

3. I generalised this thread for a couple of reasons. a) Because this behaviour is something my sister learned from a group of people with AS all lamenting the same stuff. b) Because I didn't want to go into my sisters specific issue because she'd have a problem with me doing so and consider it disrespectful.

4. This topic can be interpreted as bullying Aspies, if someone chooses to see it that way. If you are someone who makes that choice, that's a shame. For anyone who is more interested in reality, this thread is clearly about trying to figure crap out!

I'm not on the spectrum, but I'm a pretty straight forward and blunt individual, of all people, Aspies should be understanding of that. Or am I expected to tip toe around you and certain because I have an (almost) NT brain? Sorry folks, I'm not THAT kind of normal.

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zen_mistress
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08 Jun 2010, 4:42 am

[img][800:744]http://xspblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/facepalm.jpg[/img]

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KoS
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08 Jun 2010, 4:44 am

Yeah I got ya the first time Zen... :roll: You obviously need some validation or attention or something though, so here ya go! Cheers mate.

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zen_mistress
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08 Jun 2010, 5:24 am

I need validation? I dont troll boards populated by people with a disorder i dont have and write insulting threads, demanding explanations to rude questions.

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KoS
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08 Jun 2010, 5:32 am

Of course I'm a troll (Yes I know what that is now!) because I'm not behaving the way you'd like me to right? I'm not tip toeing around? I express myself how I express myself, same as you! I'm a pretty blunt person and (because of my past) I'm not in the habit walking on eggshells around people on the specturm. I find it demeaning towards you guys to treat you like idiots or children. You guys are adults, you can handle a bit of brashness. It's not intentional, it's just who I am!

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Mdyar
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08 Jun 2010, 5:41 am

KoS wrote:

I don't think you guys are getting it here.

Quote:

Oh and btw, NTs don't feel entitled to eye contact, or mindless chit chat, it's just what we expect because the majority of people we have met perform these social tasts with ease.

Yes, its all social condtioning and I get that . Its a rewarded and reinforced behavior to think inside the box. The nude emperor is wearing clothes.

Quote:

Expecting NTs to just SNAP INTO an "ok this is an Aspie I need to act like this and that and this..." is really another great example of Aspie entitlement. <sarcasm> OF COURSE, we NTs should have a complete understanding and perfect response to Aspies when we meet you, and we should know exactly what to expect and say....</sarcasm> I mean...COME ON!! ! We do our best, but you want more more more!

Quote:

We do our best, but you want more more more!

Sarcasm too???

KoS
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08 Jun 2010, 5:46 am

Mdyar wrote:

KoS wrote:

I don't think you guys are getting it here.

Quote:

Oh and btw, NTs don't feel entitled to eye contact, or mindless chit chat, it's just what we expect because the majority of people we have met perform these social tasts with ease.

Yes, its all social condtioning and I get that . Its a rewarded and reinforced behavior to think inside the box. The nude emperor is wearing clothes.

Of course it's social conditioning! That's how people learn to interact. It has nothing to do with ignorance (as in the case of the emperor). You're basically saying that because NTs engage in these polite exchanges that we are unaware that there is anything deeper. We ARE VERY aware, and we do go there, but we still enjoy polite banter, it sort of paves the way for the deeper stuff. Which is another sort of off putting thing about other Aspies, they want to just delve into the nitty gritty, NTs are a bit more inhibited (our brain wiring) and like to know WHO we are getting in deep with before just diving in.

Quote:

We do our best, but you want more more more!

Sarcasm too???[/quote]

No, geniune!

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Mdyar
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08 Jun 2010, 5:47 am

KoS wrote:

You come off as aggressive and what makes you think that's an endearing quality?
When you preach what makes you think the sermon needs to be heard?
Is it anger??

KoS
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08 Jun 2010, 5:51 am

Mdyar wrote:

You come off as aggressive and what makes you think that's an endearing quality?
When you preach what makes you think the sermon needs to be heard?
Is it anger??

I never claimed to be endearing. Quite the opposite I think. I don't preach, I say what I think just like you. I know what I say and how I say it isn't convenient for you so you must fight it. And that's fine, but that doesn't make it anything but what it is.

I don't what you mean with anger, my primary emotion in regards to me own situation is frustration, closely followed by confusions and worry.

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TimHutton
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08 Jun 2010, 7:44 am

Just as a note, although its been said before in the thread, "entitlement" is a trait irrespective of AS or NT. Most people feel "entitled" to something, go take a look at your local welfare office to find a broad spectrum of people, most of which are probably not AS.

Phrasing the question the way you did is simply stereotyping and could apply to ANY minority, and you would evoke a negative reaction (eg. "Why do black people feel entitled" or "Why do gay people feel entitled" based purely on a small subset from each minority). Ideally you would direct people toward your SPECIFIC situation, rather than stereotyping the audience you seek a response from.

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