Thoughts on breaking the news to people?

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I'm curious, how do people feel about letting someone (IRL) know you are (or suspect you are, or w/e) on the spectrum? Family, friends, romantic interests, new acquaintances, whatever. What kind of reactions do you get? How does it impact your relationships, etc etc.
I am quite recently self-diagnosed (may or may not get it done 'officially' dunno if it's worth it but that's another topic altogether) and have shared this revelation with my three siblings and mother. (Not speaking with the old man at the moment)
My mom's the only one with whom I've had subsequent conversations on the subject and she's reversed her stance on it a few times, definitely seems to have doubts. It's pretty annoying because she has the most patently idiotic conception of what it means to have Aspergers/HFA or whatever and whenever I explain in quite simple terms how and why her understanding is essentially ret*d*** she gets emotional and insists I'm being arrogant and ignorant or something. Anyhow it's really annoying and the idea of having a meaningful relationship with either parent increasingly seems terribly unlikely and I'm about through with trying.

Oh, and sorry if this post is in the wrong place or is the ten thousandth thread on the subject or something >.>


***can get into specifics if anyone's interested, otherwise just assume I'm spot on, thanks.

My family knows, and they keep it a closely guarded secret. My teachers knew, because I had a teachers aide, and some didn't care, some really empathised with me, some treated my like an idiot. My employer knows because of a letter my doctor wrote him when I was hospitalised, but we never discuss it.

I don't tell people. This is because people are, as you say pathetically ignorant about this disorder. When they find out, they tend to pigeon-hole you something dreadful.

As for you - I'd get your diagnosis 'officiated' before you start spreading the word. It's entirely possible that's not what you have.

_________________
http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/

The trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal

I told my immediate family just over a month ago.
None of them have said anything about it since. I presume they all still love me the same.

How old were you upon diagnosis? And by family do you mean immediate or include extended?

As for the diagnosis, I'm still kinda torn. It's kind of hard to explain, but I don't really tend to have much use for popular conceptions of the brain. People talk like Aspies are a large group of people who have precisely the same thing: Aspergers. I don't quite consider it that way, I think I have a completely and utterly unique neurological condition that could reasonably be diagnosed as Aspergers or HFA by an competent professional with the pertinent experience who does look at things like so.
I guess I look at it as simply a description of the the way my brain functions (or perhaps 'has been functioning') as opposed to some 'thing' like a virus or bacterial infection that has an impact on my brain that just is, so that there's nothing to be done about it. I think people have a lot more control over their brains in general than is often realized, as well as the manner in which being Autistic affects them.
I'm also less impressed with doctors than most people, though it would definitely be interesting to speak with an excellent one and hear some feedback. I'll probably give it a shot at some point.

Just my immediate family knows. I was expressly told not to tell my extended family. I was twelve years old at the time and having serious issues at school with bullying and school work. This was over ten years ago.

You're right - people generalise about autism, and it can be very hurtful. But remember, there are lots of personality disorders out there, and AS is just one of the most well known. There are many explanations possible for why you do what you do, but that doesn't mean if you don't have it you couldn't have the same support and help (and be welcome at wrong planet! )

I also think that good doctors are few and far between but you might be best going to your GP/family physician and explaining your concerns. They can set you up with a psycologist who can talk with you and do some tests to figure out if you're right or not, or a psychaitrist if thats what you need. It could be worth getting a few opinions. Some doctors and councillors are better at dealing with AS patients than others so if you can find out from other people in your area who have or know someone with AS who they see, who was helpful etc.

_________________
http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/

the trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal

awww of course they do, in fact its probably given some of them peace of mind

_________________
http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/

the trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal

My parents still don't fully accept it, they think I'm (and been) only too intelligent (?) and introvert, thus I had problems throughout my life... Shortsightedness of a sort.

Two of my closest friends and my sister know about it too, but no one else. My 54 yo suspected HFA friend relates to it stereotypically, I would say, as he thinks it is a complete waste of time to even think about it... How queer, having an enormous quantity of select LPs, CDs, books about trains, submarines, machines, music, deep knowledge on the field of classical music, jazz, soundtracks, computer programming, pronounced sensory issues, no wife, girlfriend, family, social interactions, job....

Interesting how women with whom I'm dating react to it. Expect the most stereotypical issues, you'll be labeled according to the concise internet descriptions, and consequently rejected. Ok, it might be different oversees, I hope so, at least it would give me some faith in humanity.

Well all of my family knows that I have autism so I would not really know.

well; my parents of course know; but i dont really know who else; it just never comes up.
as for newly made friends and acuantences; if i tell them (which i do rarely; i need a good reason for it), they usually react like "aah, that explains a lot", and most of the time respect me more; becouse i was able to share; also, they often start taking my sensory issues into account, so it's usually a good thing to tell others, in my experience

no one in my family thinks anything of it... in a bad way. They don't think I have anything, and this is odd that I have two aspie brothers who both agree with my one non-aspie brother that this is all in my head(being in your head 90% of the time isn't exclusive to aspies, but its not normal either). My mom doesn't take it seriously, my dad wouldn't understand, though he is an aspie in the worse sense. I didn't know of aspergers till a few months ago. So... I've tried breaking it to the people closest to me only to receive a poor reception - so I think I'll tread lightly on exposing it to anyone outside my inner circle.