Do aspie males have a harder time than aspie females ?

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CockneyRebel
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13 May 2005, 4:41 pm

violet_yoshi wrote:
chamoisee wrote:
Females are less likely to be diagnosed and there are more expectations on us to be fluffy headed, social, and nurturing. I think girls have to fly in the face of convention more when they have AS. If you're a guy, and you're really well informed on a subject, it's great. Try doing the same as a girl..... it isn't the same.

Girls are also somewhat more likely to be molested or raped, and this IS an issue for Aspies because we are less likely to realize we are in danger from the person (especially if it's an aquaintance or family member) until it is too late.

I think that it has been documented that aspie males have more problems with aggression and rages (but I have seen aspie girls with this problem too!).


I agree with you 100%! Especially about the molested/rape issue. I'm very paranoid about getting involved with someone, because I think something might lead to something, and before you know it's led to that kind of something. :?

As far as being well informed on a subject as a female, it can be bad or good. It depends on the situation, who you hang out with. I grew up as a tomboy, and hanging around guys more, as well as having more "guy" type interests. I never really acted girly, until puberty, then I started thinking babies were cute, and liking pink.

Basically, think of a guy going through puberty but having female kind of thoughts. It's like that, except without all the problems of being a guy, but thinking your female. Like I've heard of that actually happening, something like too much of the wrong hormone in the brain.

I do agree with you that we're expected to act dumb. I have gotten very good at mocking other girls, who talk like valley girls. You know the whole "OMG like totally Becky!" stuff. If they get mad at me I'm just like, "Well that's how you come across". Maybe I just don't get it cuz I'm Aspie, and it's more of a social thing. Dunno.

I think for me the main issue, is just kind of not fitting in anywhere. Or being overly-resentful against society in general, about stereotypes I'm supposed to live up to. Like being underweight, and fluffy-headed.


I have the same problem understanding Valley Talk. I don't get what half of the girls are talking about half of the time. They also use wrods like thing/thingy, and stuff. My Mom works with a whole bunch of young women at the McDonald's that she works at, and she picked up on the habit. My younger Sister does it too, but she's young. The thing about Valley Talk that annoyed me the most is that everything sounds like a question. I know that I'm in Canada and that my family lives close to the US Border, but I understand the Queen's/King's English a lot better than I understand the stuff that's spoken today.



hale_bopp
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15 May 2005, 2:17 am

I agree with the person that said people that say AS people don't have empathy are wrong.

Maybe not the typical kind of empathy, but many of us do have alot, and in many cases more than NT's.



vetivert
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15 May 2005, 2:21 am

ManureMental wrote:
Apparently males are supposed to have it slightly harder than females, so this is probably the only thing thing we aspies have in common with the NT's of the world - because NT males usually have it harder than NT females so conclusion is i suppose,"it must be a guy thing"?! !


erm... where did you get this, manuremental? could you specifiy HOW, exactly, men have it "slightly harder" than women?

boggled...



Last edited by vetivert on 07 Dec 2005, 3:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

hale_bopp
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15 May 2005, 2:44 am

Quote:
Apparently males are supposed to have it slightly harder than females, so this is probably the only thing thing we aspies have in common with the NT's of the world - because NT males usually have it harder than NT females so conclusion is i suppose,"it must be a guy thing"?! !


You know I really want to flame you. But i'll save my energy and put it into a new thread, something lighthearted and entertaining. It will be in the mature section.

edit: Here's the thread:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... 6751#36751

:D



ruminate
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15 May 2005, 7:57 am

Without more extensive study and statistical information it would be higly difficult and unlikely whether it can be proven that males or females have things more or less difficult. What I would suggest is that Males and Females with AS have life more difficult in comparison to their NT peers. For instance the ability to cope, articulate in social situations with give and take dialogue. Also, I think as Dr. Tony Attwood pointed out in his article,

The Pattern of Abilities and Development of Girls with Asperger's Syndrome

By DR. TONY ATTWOOD
September, 1999

Quote:
These tentative explanations for the apparent under representation of girls with Asperger’s Syndrome have yet to be examined by objective research studies. It is clear that we need more epidemiological studies to establish the true incidence in girls and for research on the clinical signs, cognitive abilities and adaptive behaviour to include an examination of any quantitative and qualitative differences between male and female subjects. In the meantime, girls with Asperger’s Syndrome are likely to continue to be overlooked and not to receive the degree of understanding and resources they need.


The difficulty lies in the fact that there isn't enough research to establish whether or not males or females with Asperger's have more difficult lives. I suppose that we have different lives and perhaps within our own gender/peer groups difficulties. On the whole life for someone who is considered egocentric, eccentric and incapable of the socially acceptable type of communication will be difficult enough. Is it a good thing to create division within the diagnosis itself. Then you create a system of bias within bias. I tend to think it's not productive to divide the ranks by creating animosity over who's is worse, but that's just me.



pizzaboss
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15 May 2005, 10:32 am

There is no proven fact by a study that I know of that says one gender has more problems with AS. We both have the normal symptoms, in my opinion.



azalynn
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15 May 2005, 4:04 pm

From what I can tell, both male and female Aspies are more likely than NTs to be subject to:

* Bullying
* Exclusion
* General teasing
* Manipulation

I do believe that a lot of females with AS go undiagnosed for long periods of time because of the "mob" nature of little girls. In general, girls do seem to be more socially assertive in the elementary grades. From second grade onward, I always felt as if there was a "group mind" at work amongst the girls in my classes to keep adding to the size and power of the group. Girls were encouraged to wear the same type of shoes, listen to the same music, etc. I remember being lectured by gaggles of Popular Girls when I was in grade school on how I needed to start wearing THIS brand and listening to New Kids On The Block and "get over Star Wars". They had a vested interest in making everyone the same.

I don't see as much of this in boys. Boys have other methods of exclusion: they tend to shun those who are unathletic, short, immature in some way (such as having a high voice), or have somewhat substandard hygiene. Bullying among boys tends more toward the physical, so it is noticed more than girl bullying which tends to be more verbal.

That said, I do not think that one gender can be said to have a "harder time" with AS than the other. The social expectations are different for boys and girls, and normally by the time children start school, they have been socialized and indoctrinated by their parents to some degree. This results in different social trends.

I think that girls with AS are slightly more likely to be "adopted" by a mothery classmate who will guide them through the social maze to some degree. This does not necessarily mean they have easier lives. Everyone is different.



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18 May 2005, 11:35 am

Sophist wrote:
This is a summation I did on a brief Tony Attwood article. Tell what you think.


My own thought is that most of the article appears to be generalized from the life of one particular woman with the diagnosis, and that it curiously seems not to take a different kind of stereotyping into account: That which leads diagnosticians, when seeing the exact same thing in a man and a woman, to be likely to diagnose it differently in the woman than a man.



anbuend
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18 May 2005, 11:41 am

The stuff I used to read, before Tony Attwood wrote that thing, said that autistic women tended to have more neurological problems than autistic men and were less able to deal with the world. Then the new thing I hear these days is that autistic women are more able to deal with the world and less likely to be diagnosed. I'm not sure whether either one is true or not.



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18 May 2005, 1:25 pm

Bluejay, I quite agree. The article seemed too simple a summation of a large issue. However, some points may be valid for some women/girls.

And I agree that AS women are more often misdiagnosed simply because many of the OBVIOUS criteria look differently in women. As I understand, females are less often the "little professors" as sometimes many males seem to be.

I think it would simply be safe to say that we have the same disorder, but women and men might just have it differently. I mean, there's enough scientific research out there stating that the NT male and female brains are different. Why is this not so for Aspies?


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18 May 2005, 3:52 pm

Malcolm_Scipo wrote:
I personally believe that I may fit into the expected role of men, but the problem is that although I am probably the most masculine person in my year, no one recognises me as such due to AS. I could kick the asses of all the other boys and I have quite a deep voice, but the problem is that the wimpy idiots in my year are too scared to recognise me as a man.

Sorry, I am on a random topic.


I know what ya mean. I've done a lot of weight-lifting to build myself up. I definitely don't get pushed around because a lot of guys are actually scared of me . . . and i have fits of rage that involve throwing/punching whatever is near me.



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18 May 2005, 4:58 pm

*tosses in my two cents as well* I think it would depend on several factors really...

One: The severity of AS. If you had a male with less symptoms and a female with severe symptoms then the statement that males have a harder time might not be true.

Two: Varying factors like religion, sexual preference, etc. might make it harder for one gender to find a mate. This could however apply for both genders so that factor is rather even.

Three: Personality and Likes. How you interact with people can depend on how many people you can connect with. Like me for example, unless someone has an interest in games and anime then I have a hard time communicating with them. The only time I've ever been in a place where more than one person in a span of several years accepted me was an anime convention. Otherwise I've only had three friends in all of my eighteen years (none of whom I have now). So for example if I'd gravitated toward a fascination that was more 'girly' I might have more friends. Might not. I can't really say. But your interests and how you communicate them may effect how hard of a time you have getting along.

For me this has never been an easy thing and its been pretty impossible for me to keep friends. And the only relationship I ever had failed miserably. I don't really think you can say AS men have it worse, I think it varies from person to person. SOME guys may have it worse, SOME girls may have it worse. In the end does it really matter? All who have AS know the difficulties it can cause in relation to socializing and forming relationships with other people.


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anbuend
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18 May 2005, 5:03 pm

Sophist wrote:
And I agree that AS women are more often misdiagnosed simply because many of the OBVIOUS criteria look differently in women. As I understand, females are less often the "little professors" as sometimes many males seem to be.


Actually, what I meant was that even when girls are little professors professionals view it differently than when boys are. I mean you take two people acting exactly the same -- not the same thing expressed differently -- and the diagnosis will often be different based on the gender of the person. The article doesn't take that into account. It does take what you just talked about into account.



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19 May 2005, 1:07 am

Yes, but the thing is that from my experience, most girls with AS do not have it as severely as their male counterparts. Their troubles are caused by something unrelated to AS syndromes while mine are caused by AS syndromes. That is from my experience.


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19 May 2005, 1:18 am

Hmm. I'm trying to think of the various autistic women and men I have known.

There is a group of women for whom there are significant differences between them and how most autistic men are portrayed as. They are like Liane Willey and that Tony Attwood article. Often more of an ability to "fake it" than many autistic men.

There are also a smallish number of autistic guys who are like the above women.

There is also a group of women who seem about the same as the (male) autism stereotypes.

But when I was in special ed, there was no appreciable difference between the autistic boys and girls really. At least no more difference than any of the same gender had from each other.

What I was saying was that women in the category who are the same as autistic men are generally portrayed... are more likely to be called something other than autistic even if showing the exact same traits. I was not discussing the women who are different from that particular stereotype in a Liane Willeyish way.

(You can count me in the group of women that has zero ability to "fake it".)



Sean
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19 May 2005, 1:38 am

Fake what?