Ways People Misinterpret You...

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I am told by people that I misinterpret them but I often find people misinterpret me too! Some examples include:

1 I smile when I am amused by something (I find something funny) but not when greeting people (well I do these days but I never used to as I force it now) or when I am happy (I can be perfectly happily lost in my thoughts etc but I will not usually smile at those times). However people will constantly think that I am in a bad mood or unhappy when I am not.

2 I have a bit of squint, especially when I am in bright sunlight. Cue lots of people who think I am frowning and once again that I need to cheer up (god the number of times I have had that said to me!). They also seem to think I am angry when I am not.

3 When I am excited or upset my usually loud voice gets even louder and people think I am shouting out of anger. Errr no, I just have a big trap.

4. I won't always look at people when they are talking to me and they think I am not listening. However I can annoy them with this one in the following way:

Them: "I am going shopping on Thursday for a new dress"
Me (looking at the other side of the room) "............." (no reply)
Them "Are you listening to me"
Me "Yes"
Them "What did I say then?"
Me "You are going shopping on Thursday for a new dress"
Them "Will you look at me and answer when I am talking then please?"
Me ".............."

I mean, I have not suddenly gone deaf just because I was not looking at them or making eye contact! The fuss people make over not looking at them when they are talking...tut lol.

In what ways do people read you incorrectly?

Last edited by bumble on 04 Dec 2011, 4:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I can relate to number 1. People always assume I am in a bad mood simply because I don't have a massive smile on my face and don't use intonation when I speak.

Others are they think I am miserable when I don't see the fun in doing something they want to do.

I think I missinterpret other people as being nosey when all they are doing is being friendly and making conversation.

Same way. People think I'm mad when I'm not. Half the time they don't get that I'm mad when I'm ready to explode. Or the listening thing. Yeah. It's tempting to get ticked at my daughter when she doesn't answer but I restrain myself and give her time. Then check to see if she heard the question and then if she understood. Eventually she'll answer. I know how it is.

- College tutors think I'm being insolent because I won't look them in the eyes
- My parents think I'm sullen because I won't keep a conversation going

People always misinterpret my "I'm thinking" face as my "I'm upset" face, so they'll ask me what the matter is. A lot of times they won't stop pestering me until I give them an answer, so I have to make up some reason why I'm "upset".

I sometimes shake uncontrollably when I'm tired and/or hungry, overheated or sick. People are always misinterpreting it.I've had strangers look at me disgustedly because they thought I was withdrawing from drugs or something. However, the worst misinterpretation was at the financial office of the university where I went to Grad School. I had just walked all the way across campus in the hot sun and when I arrived some woman behind the counter frantically told another in the back that somebody had just walked up "vibrating with rage." Geez. I wonder how they would have interpreted it if I'd actually fainted.

People often say ''cheer up!'' to me when I'm just thinking real hard. The other day somebody actually knew I was thinking really hard and they smiled and asked what I was thinking about, and I smiled back and told her what I was thinking about, because I was happy that she didn't misinterpret me.

The ''cheer up'' comment isn't always a very nice comment to say though, because sometimes the person could be looking unhappy for all sorts of reasons. My mum had this happen once, when she had come away from her dad's funeral a friend she knows said, ''cheer up mate, you look like you've been to a funeral!'' and my mum was like, ''I have just been to a funeral, if you don't mind'', and then the friend felt really bad for saying that. So people should think twice before saying that, and could perhaps say it in a different way like, ''are you feeling all right?''

I can't count the number of times I've had to tell people, "This is just my face."
I also get accused of being in a bad mood, etc all the time when I'm not...often it's because I don't want to participate in something others are doing. Makes no sense to me though, why I should have to explain every time how I just don't sing karaoke/play complicated shooting games/swim/drive recreational vehicles. I have had to spell it out on numerous occasions. "I am happy where I am. I'm having fun watching everyone else and if I wasn't happy, I would do something about it. If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be here, and the only person who's having a bad time is you, because you're over here trying to convince me that the only way I can have fun is to do what you're doing."

When I ask questions people are talking about, they think I am not listening to them

When I laugh, people get upset like I am laughing at them or think II think they are joking. If I laugh out of embarrassment, people think I think they are joking

When I can't keep up with people are saying, people think I am not paying attention and not listening

I've been pestered about "what's wrong" until finally making something up so as to be left alone. It's occurred to me to wonder if some of the bullying I got as a kid was from my plain or thinking face looking angry or upset, so that other kids thought I didn't like them and might be mean, which then prompted them to want to retaliate.

When I was in high school, a girl I knew told me about being in a relationship with another girl when she was visiting a foreign country. Eventually, she had to return home. I wanted to know how they handled having to be apart (ending the relationship? keeping in touch? the other girl trying to get to our country to visit?), so I asked, "What did you do?" But she thought I'd just asked what they did intimately! She was surprised and offended, and she let me know it. I was so surprised at how thoroughly I'd been misunderstood that I didn't even explain myself. Instead, I just apologized. She never did learn that she'd interpreted my words so terribly wrong.

I often handle being misunderstood by doing something to keep things smooth instead of enlightening the person who misunderstood me. It just seems that I either blank on what else to do or don't get believed when I try to make my true feelings known.

People always think Im giving them dirty looks, when really I just have a 24/7 bitchface.

I also get the "bad mood" thing, its really annoying explaining to random people that this is just how my face is

I wonder about that one sometimes. I did used to have a twitch in my nose that I couldn't control and I can remember other little children running away from me saying that I was pulling faces at them. I wouldn't mind but the adults used to tell me off and wouldn't believe that I was not doing it on purpose It stopped eventually and went away as I grew older, but I did used to get accused of staring at people in a mean way etc. I was not even aware that I was staring at anybody, usually I was looking at something behind them, next to them or just into space lol.

People think I want company, when I don't. A lot of times when I am just sitting lost in my own thoughts, they think I look lonely or upset. They will come over and start pestering me, interrupting my thought process, and they don't understand that I just want to be left alone.

Sometimes people think I am angry because of the way I walk (fast and determined to get from point A to point B before I forget why I am going to point B).

People think I am a great listener, because I am quiet, when I'm actually not processing what they are saying. Or else people think I am deliberately not listening to them, when I just can't focus on what they are saying.

I've been asked if I am nervous because I have a tremor.

When I ask questions about why things are the way they are, people think I'm not being sincere, like I'm just making a comment that it shouldn't be that way, but I'm LITERALLY asking why and I want to know the answer.

When nothing I like is served at a meal, and I choose not to eat, or just nibble at something, people think I am trying to lose weight. During my teenage years people thought I was anorexic. When I told a doctor I thought I had ADD, he thought I just wanted to use Ritalin as an appetite suppressant. I am just a very picky eater!! !

People think my work persona is "who I am" and they are surprised when they find out it's not.

No one believes I am really angry, unless I throw a huge fit. I have to exaggerate my anger to get it across to people. This is not only true in person but on the internet as well. People laugh at me or dismiss me when I'm angry.

Men think I am flirting or interested in them when I'm just being friendly, or trying really really hard to concentrate on the conversation.

I've thought of saying that to people from long ago. My mouth naturally turns down. People used to tell me constantly, "SMILE! you look so much better when you smile!" It was so annoying. I don't know why it stopped but it finally did. It still bothers me that people used to say it so much though. I never found a response to it. I wish I could go back in time and tell them I was not put on this planet to please them with my facial expressions.

Yeah me too. I couldn't count how many times I've tried to just let it go and move on because I felt like I would never be able to get the other person to actually understand me. I can't really let it go in my mind because I know I didn't get all the information across to them.

I have had some experience with that one! But then I end up frustrated because I couldn't get what I wanted to get across.

I've had the misunderstandings, too. The biggest ones are where people think I am angry or unhappy when I'm not. It's so aggravating. I've also had both males and females think that I am flirting with them when I am trying to appear friendly and attentive to what they are saying. So I sometimes feel as if I am stuck in feeling just as awkward as I did in my teens. Even my fiance misunderstands me; often thinking I am angry at him when I am not. To be fair, I have to check with him when I think his expression is angry and he is merely tired or bored.