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screaminglamb
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12 Feb 2012, 6:04 pm

I personally don't understand this. Likely because I may not have aspergers. I do not like to hold eye contact with people at all so I usually don't look at people when I talk to them which is helpful because most of the talking I do is at work where I have to concentrate on something else anyways but in social situations I still like to dart my eyes to avoid eye contact.



lostinthewoods
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21 Feb 2012, 8:42 pm

"Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky"
"Is there anybody in there?" "Is there anyone at home?"

Syd Barrett had that stare...

Image


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btbnnyr
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21 Feb 2012, 10:35 pm

When I am doing my special stare, I look like I am an empty husk behind dead eyes, and my view of the world is actually blurry, because my eyes are focused on the plane halfway between me and person on the other side of the table.

<--- This is not it. This is me being super friendly.



Guybrush_Threepwood
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21 Feb 2012, 10:52 pm

millie wrote:
I stare at fixed points while thinking. I zone out and am purely internalised when this happens - which is very often - and I am certainly impervious to human connection. I am self "absorbed" and i am thoroughly, beautifully and happily engaged with my own internal workings... and those around me detest and loathe it.

"there she goes...she's gone..." they say at home.
"gone. not home."

home to myself. not to them.


This is how I am. I dislike being summoned from this place too...it's jarring, and whatever I am being drawn out and engaged for is usually trivial or deliberately annoying.

I have been told on quite a few occasions that I adopt a blank stare. My solution? I don't bother paying attention to people. That is considered even more strange. I don't care.

I once thought it would be interesting to watch candid footage of people interacting in order to learn what normal eye movement and focus of attention looks like. Television programmes are not suitable for this. Extensive people watching (yes, more staring involved) has produced a personal conclusion that there is no pattern or set of rules to follow for eye movement as a discrete function, rather, many behaviours in concert together form appropriate and acceptable social action. Posture, movements, intervals, focus, response, timing, etc. My response to this conclusion...ignore social interaction as the confusing and ultimately unimportant aspect of life when possible. My attempts to emulate normal social interaction in recent times feels like what I would imagine a sociopath would attempt to do to "fit in". If it ain't natural for me, I don't want to know.



ime1729
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21 Feb 2012, 10:58 pm

"You seem dazed. Go take a walk."



Nim
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21 Feb 2012, 11:25 pm

I'm a little late to this thread?

My mother told me a couple months ago that the teachers where always mad at me because they said I stared at them, as if I where laughing at them, gazing. *shrugs*



AbleBaker
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22 Feb 2012, 12:10 am

ephemeralbeings wrote:
The despondent stare:
"You look upset, are you OK?"
"Were you just crying?"
(I'm content/happy or mildly excited/amused).
This one's especially annoying - and quite baffling.



cooldryplace
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22 Feb 2012, 1:24 am

Well, I definately have a stare.



sfreyj
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22 Feb 2012, 3:02 am

A lady said to me today:

Lady: 'You need to cheer up a bit...'
Me: 'I do?'
Lady: 'Yeah...you need something...Something is missing from you.'
Me: 'My soul?'

She had already walked off at that point. I wish I could see what my face looks like throughout the day. I don't know if I had the 'aspie stare' or my face was just generally lacking expression. Maybe it was both.



Nim
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22 Feb 2012, 3:22 am

I remember a ethnic lady (large) walked into a subway shortly after I did and saw me standing there with only one worker behind the counter and they where helping someone else. She looked at my face and went "OMG! How long have you been here?".

I explained to her I had just arrived, moments prior. To which she responded I looked very angry...



ScottyN
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22 Feb 2012, 3:46 am

I hve been trying to correct that stare for a long time now. A blank, expressionless look that I have discovered all too often, people don't like at all.



Alohilani
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22 Feb 2012, 8:59 am

Hmmm... I have this blank stare mostly when my brain takes a break and my eyes can relax. Usually I would just be looking at all kinds of things, people, faces of these people... detecting something worth to look at. But then, many times I don't stare at them for the sake of staring but more for my brain and eyes to be idle for a while.

8O



wokndead
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22 Feb 2012, 12:15 pm

No one's ever really said anything to be, but I "feel" like I have a stare. Like, after talking to someone at work sometimes, I'll notice my face feels angry, if that makes sense. 98% of the time, I'm not actually angry. I just feel the face. Eyebrows slightly furrowed and nose slightly scrunched up. Basically, I feel like I'm doing this:

Image

I also do this when I'm concentrating. I try to loosen my face when I notice, but then it goes back when I'm not paying attention.

It's either that or it's more like this:

Image

Also, I squint a lot. But that's mostly due to my dislike of bright lights.


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LookingLost
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22 Feb 2012, 12:33 pm

I have this, I think. Has gotten me into some awkward situations...



Venerab1e1
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22 Feb 2012, 8:56 pm

I believe I have this as well. I've been told I look angry by some strangers and sad by other strangers. Everytime someone said I look angry or sad I haven't actually felt that way at those certain times. I also wonder how much of this "aspergers stare" is related to a flat affect that seems to be fairly common among people with aspergers syndrome.



Cad
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22 Feb 2012, 9:17 pm

MizLiz wrote:
This is why I don't pose for pictures. My eyes are so f**** up that if I'm actually looking at the camera, I look high.


I hate my smile so never do it in a photo, so if I look at a camera and intentionally don't smile (as opposed to having a photo taken by my friends at a party out of nowhere on a phone camera or whatever) I look like I've just escaped from prison.