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y-pod
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10 Nov 2012, 7:18 am

I rarely have strong opinions about things or issues. Unless it's something I'm well informed about, and have studied and concluded my stance on it, I have nothing to say, and don't feel for either side. People's passionate opinions about issues astound me. I love watching them, but whatever they say rarely influence me.

I know this can be a disadvantage. I need time to figure out things to make decisions. I can't make hasty decisions or I'd always be doubting my choices. I often would spend more time researching even after I already made the choice, just to validate it. Sometimes some decisions are complicated, and because of my lack of natural preference every step need to be researched. It turn into a daunting task and I never manage to finish them. Probably have missed many opportunities.

I wonder if other aspies also have this. Do you think it's a problem or an advantage?


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Momofblue
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10 Nov 2012, 8:26 am

My 14-year old son struggles with the same issue. He cannot give his opinion on any topic that he hasn't personally experienced. He usually just shrugs and says he doesn't know. It makes it difficult to make future plans such as what he might want to study in college or even what type of college he might want to go to. He relies on us or his good friend to help him make decisions on even small things as what video game to buy or what activity to participate in. We try to give him lots of "experiences" and then gauge if he liked them or not to see if they are worth continuing. I know we can't do that forever but just can't figure out how to get him to look and/or research things himself.



shyengineer
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10 Nov 2012, 9:07 am

I'm exactly the same way, y-pod.

I think it's good when making an objective decision. The pitfalls are taking to long because I need all the facts, and sometimes reaching a stalemate between two options. Setting a deadline helps to prevent taking too long and further refining the requirements can help break the stalemate (or flip a coin).

It's also not good for making conversation because I don't have an opinion. But that does make me quite tolerant.

I think it's just the opposite to someone who is very opinionated and makes decisions with their gut. There's pro's and con's to each method.



jetbuilder
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10 Nov 2012, 9:11 am

Same here. I don't really have strong opinions unless its about something I know a lot about. If someone asked me my opinion on politics, my mind would go completely blank. Lol


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eric76
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10 Nov 2012, 12:15 pm

In my case, there are really three groups of things that I am likely to have an opinion on:

1) Is it something that I pay attention to? If so, I have an opinion.

2) Does it involve a change that will affect me directly? If so, I'm likely to have an opinion, probably against the change. If the change is made, I'll probably get used to it eventually and will usually then have an opinion that I don't want to change back.

3) Do I have a mild prejudice for or against? If so, I'll likely have an opinion after it comes up, but it will some thought for the opinion to firm up rather than having an instant opinion.



windtreeman
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10 Nov 2012, 1:52 pm

Being incapable of forming an opinion is actually one of the parts of my personality that has caused the most grief in my life. I'm not sure if this is consistent with other people here, but sometimes I will watch a movie or listen to an album and literally have absolutely no opinion on it; when I try to imagine whether I liked it or not, I feel this vast sense of mental emptiness. I usually end up basing my opinions on internet reviews unless it's something I'm predisposed to like (an album from a band I'd already decided I enjoyed, etc.). Makes recording original music an absolute pain in the *** because it takes HOURS before I can decide on anything.


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10 Nov 2012, 3:12 pm

windtreeman wrote:
Being incapable of forming an opinion is actually one of the parts of my personality that has caused the most grief in my life.


Yes, me too.

When I was growing up it was very difficult. I wished people would stop asking me questions, like what I wanted to eat/drink, what I wanted to do, see, wear, etc. The answer was always "I don't know" or "whatever you like" but often I would be pressed for an answer and it felt like such hard work trying to find one, often to the point of frustration, and I would exasperatedly declare "anything!!". I had to rely on other people to make my decisions for me, but when I got older that became problematic, because then important life decisions began to come up and other people would make the wrong ones.

I had a friend when I was a child who I would copy in everything - whatever my friend wanted to eat/drink/do/say I just did the same. It gave me some relief from trying to make the decisions, but that also gave me a challenge when I got older, in figuring out who I was.

I don't know what the solution is, other than if others had had a better understanding of the problem I may have benefited from more support with it.



scrasun
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10 Nov 2012, 4:18 pm

Me too. I don't think not having opinions on things you don't know about is a bad thing, but not having preferences about things could be.



littlelily613
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10 Nov 2012, 5:42 pm

Well, what some people on here have explained seems to me more like decision-making rather than opinions. I am quite opinionated on many things. That being said, I am a terrible decision-maker. The two are different things. I need a lot of support when it comes to making even the simplest decisions. If you ask me what my opinion is on certain issues though, I can definitely formulate one without support.


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XFilesGeek
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10 Nov 2012, 5:57 pm

Same.

First, I simply do not care about what most other "normal" people seem to care about quite a lot.

Secondly, I rarely have strong emotional reactions to much of anything, and emotional reactions play a pretty big role in forming opinions (in "normal" people, anyway).

Third, at any given time, I can see many, many possibilities. To me, the world is awash in shades of grey and nuance. There are rarely any "simple" answers, so it's difficult for me to have just one opinion on any given topic. I'm constantly bombarded by complexity.

Hope that helps.


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loner1984
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10 Nov 2012, 7:22 pm

Same.

I got in such much trouble back in school, when we had those classes where you should write about what you wanted to be.

They always though it was because of laziness.

Ive never known what i want to be or do. Because how can i know that, without trying it. I would i know if i wanted to be a train driver or whatever.



CockneyRebel
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10 Nov 2012, 8:21 pm

I'm the opposite. I have very strong opinions.


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League_Girl
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10 Nov 2012, 8:57 pm

I'm the same way in lot of things. I can also give an opinion and feel no emotions about it. So therefore it doesn't bother me if someone has a different opinion about it. But yet I am labeled as being opinionated. I do have some strong opinions in things.


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y-pod
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11 Nov 2012, 7:34 am

I do have opinions after I have gathered enough information about a topic. I believe many aspies are like that. I mostly meant we're lacking default opinions. It's great for accepting changes when new information become available. Not so great if there isn't much information out there to help me figure out things.


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11 Nov 2012, 2:15 pm

I believe abulia is often part of the AS, though not in my case. My father was abulic in all the ways described above, and it limited his life very much.


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XFilesGeek
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11 Nov 2012, 2:37 pm

y-pod wrote:
I do have opinions after I have gathered enough information about a topic. I believe many aspies are like that. I mostly meant we're lacking default opinions. It's great for accepting changes when new information become available. Not so great if there isn't much information out there to help me figure out things.


True.

I've noticed NTs are quite good at forming opinions on complex subjects based on very little information.

I require a level of specificity that infuriates most other people. I chalk-it-up to being more of an inductive thinker.


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