I don't understand why some words are "offensive"

Post Reply New Topic

I wish it were this way but sometimes I end up unintentionally offending people because of using those words in that way. I tend to try to imitate the language of a group to fit in. Then I feel bad if someone gets offended so I stop myself from saying words reminding myself that it could be offensive. And then I feel like I don't fit in with the group because I can't say words that they can. I'd actually prefer if someone found it offensive all the time than just if those outside of the group said it.

There are many ways, all more intuitive than "bad words" in my opinion.

For example, I understand at one time in Germany, it was the emphasis and emotion put behind the word that was considered rude, not the word itself. I'm not sure if it's still the case today, but the example I was given was "ach mensch" (oh man) which would be terrible if shouted but totally normal if said normally.

There are also plenty of things in the real world we feel negatively about, which language can transmit without needing any particular word to be "dirty". For example, the word "racist" isn't considered a swear word, and neither is "lazy", but let's say I were to go to your work and call you a lazy racist in front of your co-workers--you will probably be very insulted. And that is without any of the words holding the obscenity on their own.

Again, the notion that words should have the negative connotation, instead of ideas, seems really stupid to me. When I was a kid, I wasn't sure if the people I was around were making it up to mess with me, or if they really meant it--and if they meant it, why? It doesn't do them any harm. I didn't say anything mean. I think its them who have the problem.

I see it partly as being connected with either not knowing the specific social rules of the particular group you are in or not being sufficiently bothered about them that you adapt your behaviour accordingly.

I have worked in the past mainly in IT Support and as it is a predominantly male environment a lot of swearing can occur and I just tended to pick this up and saw it as normal.

So when talking to some male colleagues at work swearing would be normal but when I would talk in the same manner to my parents my Mother often used to say "There's no need to swear!" etc.

I still do it now though and can easily say a swear word if annoyed about something and I'm friends with people who aren't offended by swearing or like to do it too lol

So it's also partly a case of 'birds of a feather' - ie swearers often relate better to other swearers lol

I also see it as people with Asperger's being developmentally behind their peers and hence often more immature

Plus, I find swear words add important emphasis to a sentence.

I do tend to edit out the swear words if I think the person might be offended by them though.