Advice please!! !

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to cut a long story short i broke up with my ex girlfriend 3 months ago, we have a little boy who has just turned 3 and i have contact with him 3 times a week, on my contact days i have him for around 7 hours. We always had a little concern that he may have autism when he wasn't speaking much, but when he started talking more frequent my concern went. anyway since we broke up i asked my ex girlfriend if i could start having my son for overnight stays at my house, and this was refused so i started the ball rolling to take things to court, I go to court on the 10th of December. One of the reasons for not letting me have my son for overnight stays is that he's not ready and that he may have autism.

I was able to put him to bed when we were together at her house but i'm not allowed to at my house. I live with my parents and my son has always known my house from since he was born, he gets on with his grandparents (my mother and father) extremely well. Her solicitor as wrote me a letter which states this

"health visitor is doing regular monitoring with our son with a view to further assessment in the future to whether he may have autism and in the future he will be referred for pediatric assessment and has OCD tendencies."

My question is if my son is diagnosed with autism should he not be able to stay overnight at my house? Is there anyone who i can contact for information on situations like this? It may be the case he doesn't have it but if he does i want to be fully prepared to help him. His education etc is very important to me and i feel overnight stays are vital to me helping him and him knowing his dad wants to care and look after him.

Any help will be appreciated. I'm in the UK btw.

People with autism do tend to be very attached to people, places and things that are comfortably familiar, so sleeping over in a strange place can be rather traumatic. Autistic folk are not amenable to sudden changes in plan. We need time to process an idea before it is acted upon - preferably at least a few days' advance notice. Sometimes more. Be patient.

That said, it's not a reason he should be kept from staying over at his Dad's if he wants to. Of course you want him to feel as comfortable in your space as his Mother's, but chances are he will always tend to think of one more as "home" than the other.

I am in Scotland. My ex-husband and I have one son, diagnosed with Asperger's about a year and a half after we separated. He was 5 when we split, and from that time until August this year when he started High School, stayed with his father from Tuesday tea time to Friday the time, and the rest of the week with me.

He now is with me through the week as the school is in my area, and spends 3 weekends put of 4 with his father. This arrangement was the result of some negotiations between his father and me and was not my first choice of arrangement, but his father had an equal say in the plans for our son.

I'm not sure what difference your not being married will make, if any.

My ex-husband and I agreed these arrangements without resorting to court, but my solicitor advised me that as the child's interests are put first, the preference is for shared responsibility and residence and access arrangements which allow the child to see both parents, as equally as possible.

Hope this is helpful for you.