All you need is Love....and that doesn't change w/ ASD

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People are different. There are extroverted autistics as well schizoid autistics. Most will not need it 100% or 0%. And yes some people will need love infrequently. THIS IS NOT A MYTH. It right in there in the Gillberg criteria for Aspergers . http://www.bbbautism.com/asp_gillberg.htm

1.Severe impairment in reciprocal social interaction (at least two of the following)
(a) inability to interact with peers
(b) lack of desire to interact with peers
(c) lack of appreciation of social cues
(d) socially and emotionally inappropriate behavior

Even most extroverted person needs food and water also.

"to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance"

Oscar Wilde

LupaLuna- You are right...relationships exist in many forms not just intimate partnerships- but parent-child, sibling, co-worker, friend, relationship with self, and yes...also lover.
I also agree completely that LOVE takes a huge vulnerability to depend on someone which requires trust and self-esteem. The RISK it takes to be vulnerable with another human likely is hard for many people that identify on the spectrum.


Loved what Girlwithaspergers says: Some of the most loving and powerful bonds are 100% platonic. I agree. It is each human's right to determine what kind of LOVE they allow in their life and to what degree.


It's kind of cliche to use Beatle's lyrics and it an interesting point that many of them were not very nice to their loved ones......yet it sparked a lively discussion. I really have enjoyed reading all these posts.

Yes, I think that love is a necessity, even in ASD. But for me, it's not so much "Oh, I wish someone would hold me" or "Man, this sunset is pretty I wish someone was here to watch it with me". It's more like "Man, I wish I had a close friend who understood me and accepts me for what I am." Without prejudice, without having to worry about whether or not they'll run when you slip up and say something really stupid. That's the extent of love I want. Just a close buddy who understands me and still wants to be friends without judging me for my quirks.

I just need hate.

I resonate entirely with this notion:

"Man, I wish I had a close friend who understood me and accepts me for what I am." Without prejudice, without having to worry about whether or not they'll run when you slip up and say something really stupid. That's the extent of love I want.

Its never the sunset or being held that keeps us feeling safe and secure...its the sense of being understood. That is what love is.
Paul Louden, one of the speakers at Love & Autism will be talking about his own experience with notions like 'sunsets' and 'romantic comedies' and how this doesn't match up with real life.

Even as a marriage and family therapist that specializes in love and relationships, I can assert that sunsets, 'fireworks', and passion fade. What remains is compassionate love- deep respect and dependance on one another without losing our independent selves.

Whoops, sorry Skibum that was you. I've got to figure out how to do those in-text boxes that each of you do when quoting each other. I'm new to this forum